Iyay orkedpay ouryay ifeway, andyay eshay asway implysay kosher
She atspay ymay atmay ofyay ubicpay atvay , urnedtay overyay,
Had arelybay acedplay ethay aconbay inyay ethay pan
When uddenlysay , ymay eatmay asway ickspay ofyay anspay !
It oopeddray ikelay amspay uponyay ayay ummersay day
Ejaculate ewedspay oremay anthay odsmay areyay gay
Had onlyyay astlay ayay okestray , andyay illstay eshay sai
I asway ethay etterbay okeblay , anthay omwhay e'dshay edway .
I esseddray asyay ermitkay , entway anotheryay round
With smray igglesjay igglingjay oundpay orfay pound
When uddenlysay , ethay edbay ellfay oughthray ethay oofray!
Now eshay asway onyay optay , andyay ostmay uncouth:
My earthay aggedslay otay ayay opstay , ymay einsvay idday pop
A ermyspay oodblay conglomerate: erhay opslay.
translation for non oinkers
I porked your wife, and she was simply kosher
She spat my mat of pubic vat, turned over,
Had barely placed the bacon in the pan
When suddenly, my meat was spick of span!
It drooped like spam upon a summer day
Ejaculate spewed more than mods are gay
Had only last a stroke, and still she said
I was the better bloke, than whom she'd wed.
I dressed as Kermit, went another round
With Mrs. Jiggles jiggling pound for pound
When suddenly, the bed fell through the roof!
Now she was on top, and most uncouth
My heart slagged to a stop, my veins did pop
A spermy blood conglomerate: her slop.
@mods u absolute filthy pigs give me an official title or I will burn this subreddit to the ground with my pure chaotic energy oink OINK OINnNNKkKkKK
Mash it.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
They were cooked in Greece.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
