I have decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.
It should make my autobiography much more interesting.
π︎ 1k
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︎ Feb 12 2022
Today, my son asked βCan I have a book mark?β and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesnβt know my name is Brian.
π︎ 3k
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︎ Dec 15 2021
I have a book full of puns about Africa
You're Ghana love 'em!
That's just one, but I bet you can't stop laughing already, Kenya!
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︎ Nov 02 2021
Have you read the book about plumbing?
You know, the one by Lee King
π︎ 73
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︎ Dec 31 2021
My library doesn't have a single book on animals.
It turns out they're all on shelves.
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︎ Oct 15 2021
Can't believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.
Truly a capitalist society.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 04 2022
I have written a book on how to fall down the stairs
Itβs a step by step guide.
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︎ Aug 07 2021
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
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︎ Aug 18 2020
I asked a librarian, "So, do you have a system for organizing these books?"
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 27 2021
Have you read the book about secret rodents?
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 10 2021
I have a feeling that something is wrong with my Braille book.
I canβt quite put my finger on it.
π︎ 24
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︎ Jul 21 2021
I was worried that I wouldnβt have room for two new health and nutrition booksβ¦
β¦but they physically fit.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 24 2021
"Have you ready any of Dante's books?" I asked my friend.
"Inferno," he replied.
"OK," I added, "what about just in regular clothes?"
π︎ 6
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︎ May 30 2021
A woman walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat?"
The librarian replies, "It rings a bell, but I don't know if it's here or not."
π︎ 264
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Iβm reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love. Theyβve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.
It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just canβt-elope
π︎ 151
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Why don't books have very many friends?
They mostly keep to themshelves!
π︎ 96
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︎ Oct 01 2020
What would HitlerΒ΄s book have been called if he had actually become a painter?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 30 2021
I have made myself too many places to store books.
π︎ 54
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︎ Nov 13 2020
After many years of procrastination I have finally finished my book on common herbs...
π︎ 60
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︎ Aug 02 2020
Have you heard about the new book by Rubik's Cube inventor ErnΕ Rubik?
It's full of twists and turns.
π︎ 45
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︎ Oct 10 2020
A Dad walks into a bookstore and says, β Can I have a book by Shakespeare?β βOf course, sir, which one?β
π︎ 1k
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︎ Apr 30 2018
I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...
... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 24 2020
Have you heard about the new winged book?
It just flies off the shelves...
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 24 2020
A friend asked me if i read the book and i said "yes, i have ..."
π︎ 19
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︎ Oct 14 2019
I walked into a bookstore and asked an employee βDo you have any books by Shakespeare?β
Employee: Of course sir. Which one?
Me: William.
π︎ 79
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︎ Dec 28 2019
I have written a book on puffins.
Looking back, I realize paper would have been easier.
π︎ 24
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︎ Apr 16 2020
All the comic books I inherited from my brother have their last page ripped off.
I have to draw my own conclusions.
π︎ 53
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︎ Mar 12 2020
Today my son typed "Can I have a book mark?"
I burst into tears. "Billy, please stop reposting the same joke for karma, everyone will hate you."
"Then give me the damn bookmark."
I gave him the bookmark.
He finally won.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Why does Kim Jong Un have so many books?
Because he's the Supreme Reader
π︎ 15
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︎ May 01 2020
Today, my son asked, "Can I have a book, Brian?" and I burst into tears
11 years old and he still can't tell a joke properly.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 19 2021
Today my daughter asked me, βCan I have a book mark?β
After all these years she still doesnβt know my name is Dennis.
π︎ 15
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︎ Sep 04 2021
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears...
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Apr 18 2020
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 46k
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︎ Nov 24 2018
My son asked if he could have a book mark
I broke down crying. Its been 15 years and he still doesn't know my name is jack!
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 22 2021
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 280
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︎ Oct 07 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 106
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︎ Oct 12 2019
My son Tiberius just came up to me and said "can I have a book Mark?"
....and I burst into tears π€£. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Memphis.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Today my son asked βCan I have a book mark?β And I burst into tears. 15 years and he still doesnβt know my names Brian.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 08 2020
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"
and I burst into tears. 13 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brandon.
π︎ 67
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︎ Sep 24 2019
Today my daughter asked "Can I have a book mark?"
I couldn't help but cry... She is 14 and still doesn't know my name is John.
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Today, my son asked "Can i have a book mark?" And i burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesnt know my name is Brian
π︎ 18
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︎ Apr 12 2020
I have a feeling that there is something wrong with my Braille book.
I canβt quite put my finger on it.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
Today my son asked "can i have a book mark?" I burst into tears.
He is 11 years old and still doesn't know my name is Brian
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 23 2020
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian
π︎ 85
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"
- and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
I went to a bookstore and asked the guy, βDo you have any books by Shakespeare?β
Guy: Of course sir. Which one?
Me: William.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 33
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︎ Oct 30 2019
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