Because they would be committing treasons
I knew Amanda Lynn was too good to be true.
I just couldn't commit to the change.
Whoops, wrong sub.
They log on.
She said, “bee hive”
You will soon have a suppository.
I saw Himalayan on the road this afternoon and picked him up.
He said it was the most violent story he's ever read.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
But you wouldnt git it
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
When you start programming, people push you to GitHub and then you commit to GitHub.
It was just a spare, I guess...
You just have to listen varicosely.
That there are a lot of towns named after their water towers?
VELOCIRAPTOR
-heehee physics jokes
What did the termite say when he walked into a saloon?
"where is the bar tender? "
What did the three legged dog say when he went into the bar?
" I'm looking for the man who shot my paw. "
Edit: hit not git in the title. Too fat of fingers for my phone...
A mirrorcle.
Boeing Boeing Boeing!
Cause someone told him to Git a Long Little Dogie
He couldn’t git R done.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
Git gud scrub
On Oct. 29, 2019, the world lost a legend. Esteemed actor and comedian, John "Pops" Witherspoon, passed away at the age of 77. After making his acting debut on The Richard Pryor Show in 1977, Witherspoon starred in cultural classics like Good Times, House Party, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Bebe's Kids, Boomerang, Soul Plane, I Got the Hook-Up, The Wayans Bros, all three of the revered Friday movies and many more. https://4ormypeople.com/mood/2019/10/30/rip-john-pops-witherspoon
Because someone told him to "git along, little doggy."
My brother and I were told we'd become lords of castles when my father passed. The mischievous old git was true to his word: my brother is now lord of a bouncy castle, and I rule a fairy-tale castle.
He feels let down, but I'm made up!
