I have explored the depths of Reddit and bring you year-old untouched never previously experienced self harm.

The best part is the title “this is not a TERF sub”.

https://www.reddit.com/r/comphet/comments/jksgvt/this_is_not_a_terf_safe_sub_nor_will_it_ever_be/

I’m going for kinda pop/indie music!

pain intensives (probably spelled that wrong)

And the fun part is that my dad accepts me and she only said this to me when dad left for work. I gotta tell him about this.

Hello! I'm AFAB, and use she/they pronouns. I would say that I do identify as being a woman, but only partly; the label feels limiting, and rather just one element of how I perceive my gender inwardly. I feel like a genderless blob a lot of the time, who is occasionally comfortable embodying womanhood. I hope this makes sense, I would love to hear your thoughts, thank you!

Lately I've felt more scared about being trans and 'bad' people, and not necessarily just verbal abuse (which of course is still not something anyone should have to experience), but physical danger.

So I was just wondering the kind of advice people have really, since pepper sprays are illegal and I'm not a martial artist, I'm not sure what kind of things I can do when going on dates/walking alone late at night.

Thanks in advance :)

I'm part of a religion that's about 2,000 years old. And to be a good member of this religion there are certain practices and rules you have to follow. One of those practices and rules is you have to throw a dildo at any red haired person you see. Yeah, you heard me correctly, you have to throw a dildo at any red head you see. And if it makes a nice loud boink that's even better. For the record there are only about 7 very short passages in total about this casting of the dildo upon the ginger in my religion's holy book and they aren't even in the top ten rules and none of them are said by the main character of the book. Now understand there are other practices and rules that members of my religion don't follow anymore due to them being considered antiquated as society has moved forward. One of those things is slavery, we don't approve of slavery anymore and haven't approved of it for over 150 years. There's also some stuff in there about shellfish and circumcision we don't really do anymore. But for whatever reason my religious leaders today are really insistent we keep up this throwing of dildos at red heads for the foreseeable future.

And it's because of this belief about throwing false penises at gingers that it's led me and many other follwers of my religion to believe that we need to also deny them civil rights, marriage rights, and access to healthcare. It's even made us think we should send them to ginger conversion therapy to make them be a nice blonde or brunette, and kick our ginger kids out of our house unless they repent on their red head ways. There are only two hair colors damn it!

In recent years there have been activist groups that have started to pop up and say that followers of my religion who do this to red heads are awful people and that we're just a bunch of meanies because red heads are people too and that we need to change our ways. In fact, there have even been other followers of my religion who say that these activist groups are right and will even point to passages of my religion's holy book where the main character says we have to "love our neighbor" and "love others as you love yourself." And on top of all this a majority of the population is even agreeing with these people.

When these people come up to me and tell I'm hateful or a bigot or a gingerphobe I just tell them I don't hate red heads and gingers, I actually love them. What I do hate is there sin of being a red head and I just wish they would stop living in sin. And

Happy New Year - I’m thinking about changing my name to something more masculine (I’m AFAB) but nothing feels like it’s exactly right. Should I choose a masc variation of my birthname as a placeholder, or try to find something perfect before I change it?

Hi there. I just wanted to get some clarification from the Genderqueer community about this.

I saw a few different definitions of Genderqueer (to be more specific, highlighting the difference between Genderqueer and Non Binary) and some of them said that the Genderqueer label included GNC people as well.

I just wanted to know if this was true.

Thanks for replying in advance! :D <3

Hi there, The post is what the title says it is. Make a list of Non Binary equivalents of Gendered words.

Keep in mind that 'Non Binary' word and 'Gender Neutral' words aren't always the same.

A 'Gender Neutral' word is a word that does not refer to someone's gender, while a 'Non Binary' word in this case would be a word referring to someone with a Non Binary gender.

Also, some Non Binary people are okay with being called things like Mum and Dad, and that's okay. That's 100% fine and valid.

But some Non Binary would like other words, specifically for NB people, and that's just as fine and valid too.

This post was made specifically so that there could be some kind of discussion about those words.

Here's what to do:

Comment on this post, and type out your list. There's some rules:

Remember to label which language(s) the words are intended for.

You can use pre existing words, words you coined yourself, or anything else.

Remember to try to give credit to the person who coined that word if you decide to use a pre existing word.

Try to stay respectful and courteous.

Have fun, and thanks for upvoting! :D <3

Sorry it’s a dumb question I know. I’m just a bit confused.

Edit: I’ve looked up the differences and clicked the link this post gave me. I guess I’m not too smart so it’s not really making much sense to me. I’m sorry.

(Also sorry for the tag. Didn’t know which to use)

Hi all, I thought I’d share my story. I’m AMAB but I’ve just come out as genderqueer. I find my journey to this point fascinating. At least to me. In speaking to a trans friend of mine I realise how normal it all is, and how so much of what I was saying he could relate to.

The catalyst is a recent issue I had with a terf at work. I filed a complaint with HR when she made quite aggressively anti-trans comments to me. I did it as (what I thought I was) a gay man, but it was only after when I realised how much I felt it was a personal attack that I started to question my gender identity a bit.

One of many issues with her was pronouns, and I realised after that I really felt I’d be more comfortable with being called he/them, so I changed my pronouns. This was both a personal feeling inside - one that felt so so RIGHT to me, but also what felt like a bonus ‘fuck you’ to the terf at work. I no longer wanted to be constrained by heteronormative labels for my gender and sexuality.

I realised I wasn’t really a man, but I also wasn’t a woman. A space outside the binary felt really right to me. The same with my sexuality. I no longer wanted to be defined by labels of who I was attracted to. ‘Queer’ I felt was sufficient enough to define me, and I realised I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to who or what I do sexually.

As I read into trans identities and labels, I realised that genderqueer fits me PERFECTLY. It was suddenly like a light went off and literally everything made sense for the first time. I felt so free and happy.

When I think back to childhood I remember wanting to be a girl at times. There are so many examples but the one that really stands out is wanting to marry my next door neighbour, not as a boy but as his WIFE. It was such a strong feeling. But at the same time I didn’t feel like a girl. It was this weird mix. I also remember feeling a tremendous sense of injustice at gender-segregated school activities. I felt so much more comfortable with girls at times, and I felt it was so unfair that I couldn’t be with them instead of boys at times.

I also remember experimenting with wearing girl’s clothes a bit - the most thrilling was dressing as ‘a girl’ for Halloween at 11. My dad was horrified but I loved it. I went in ‘drag’ a few more times over the years and really loved feeling of wearing different things and being a guy wearing non-trad guys things.

At 18 I came out as bi and then at 19, gay. I had crushes on women but my sexual attra

A young man who just moved in on my street saw my Pride flag and came over to talk to me. After talking for a while about his life, he threw a question at me I didn’t have an answer for. Maybe the group can help.

First: He was born male, but he is definitely feminine in every way. He loves dressing like a fairy Princess when he does cosplay, but he also wears dresses around the house in front of his mom, and she’s cool with it. He has no interest in anything masculine, and prefers women as friends and confidants. He says he raises the pitch of his voice to sound more feminine, and I must say, he is most definitely a “Queen” in his mannerisms and speech patterns. Gah, he’s fantastic. My youngest (who is NB) loved him immediately.

So anyway, he is cis (but questioning) and he is only attracted to women. Never had any attraction toward a male.

He asked me “So what do you think I am in LGBTQ+?”

I told him that I’d ask the group. I wanted to say he is gender nonconforming, and since he prefers feminine things almost exclusively, perhaps genderqueer?

This is a discovery he has to make himself, I know. Like we all do. But I’m just curious what the group thinks. Is he LGBTQ+, and if he is, where does he land?

He’s 14, so I’m sure he has plenty of personal exploration left to go.

I am cis female but have been toying with the idea of being gender fluid and identifying more with she/they pronouns in an attempt to maybe feel more comfortable in my own skin. I’m not sure if how I feel is more tomboyish and normal for cis identifying women, or if it’s something that gender fluid people relate to more? Such as:

• Feeling like putting on makeup and girly clothes is a “performance”
• Feeling validated knowing I am doing the “right” thing or looking the “right” way when I am dressed in a conventionally attractive way
• Feeling more confident when doing traditionally masculine mannerisms (e.g. manspreading, talking with a deeper voice than usual, hands in jean pockets)
• Feeling attached to my long hair solely for the fact that it makes me feel more feminine and conventionally pretty
• Feeling drawn to and admiring masc women
• Feeling a desire to one-up cis men in whatever it is makes them feel masculine (e.g. wanting to lift heavier weights than them, pull off a suit or tie better than them, etc) — not sure if this is toxic masculinity (?) :/
• Feeling more comfortable interacting with men than women

Are these normal feelings due to gender being a social construct? If so, couldn’t everyone technically be gender fluid if they tried hard enough to look past our social conditionings…?

For me it means I use every pronoun at every time, but I prefer she/her and use she/her for myself most of the time.

Hi! I’m hoping to get some insight and opinions on my recent, and very confusing, journey of examining my gender(s?). I posted this over on non-binary as well, and I'm hoping to hear a few more opinions!

I’ve never seriously questioned my gender before, but in all honesty, I didn’t really understand that anything besides trans—the super specific version in which you go fully from one binary gender to another—existed until the last few years, when I made a non-binary acquaintance and have had a few non-binary and/or genderfluid coworkers. I still don’t know a lot of things. I was raised in a conservative environment where I was taught absolutely nothing besides cisheteronormativity, and whatever I did hear about the queer community was negative. I’ve had to fight to get away from that and learn almost everything for myself.

There was a really brief time period, when I was a teenager, when I experimented with the idea of being a trans guy (keeping in mind that this was a decade ago and neither me nor my teenage peers knew that non-binary stuff existed yet, at all). I tried he/him pronouns, a masculine name, binding, and dressing as masculine as possible and trying to think of myself in that way… and I hated it. It felt completely wrong. So I decided I surely was just completely female and went on about my life.

Even now, almost everything that I would consider masculine is a hard no for me. I hate being referred to as he/him. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. I hate the idea of dressing completely as male or trying to present that way.

I’ve always used she/her pronouns, and hadn’t really considered anything else until a few people at work asked me what my pronouns were, with one instance in particular being the question, “Do you go by she/her or they/them?” And there was a moment where I realized that the idea of being called “they” felt kinda… neat? Like it fit surprisingly well. Another coworker, who often refers to everyone by they until he knows otherwise, has called me they/them on several occasions and I realized that I actually really like that a lot. As far as I can tell now, I love being called they/them as long as it doesn’t completely replace she/her. I like both, a lot, and I don’t want they/them to completely replace she/her… But they/them does feel like it fits. I feel like I want people to call me both, interchangeably.

Most days, I feel comfortable and most confident presenting as moderately femme or mildly androgynous. I think I dr

Hi everyone. I'm fairly new to this subreddit, and recently I've been questioning my gender identity. I have tried looking around online to see, if other people had a similar experience to me, but i couldn't find anything that really made it click. So, I'm gonna share this here to see, if you guys could help me figure this out. For context, I'm 26 years old and AFAB. I apologize if this post is a bit all over the place - it's kinda tough for me to try and fit this all together. Also, English isn't my first language.

A big thing that made me question my gender is that, I don't like being called a woman. I use she/her pronouns and I'm cool with being called a girl and miss, and I at least don't think I'd mind being called a lady, but "woman" is kinda were i draw the line. It just doesn't feel right to me, like it's trying to make me something I'm not. This carries over into my preferences for clothing. Hoodies and jeans: Yes! Dresses and other elegant feminie clothing: Nope! Wearing more "adult-feminine" stuff genuinely makes me feel unconfortable in my own skin, and I think it might actually be dysphoria. Also, I have a degree in a VERY male-dominated profession (as in, out of around 100 graduetes, I was the only girl), and over time, it really started to irritate me, when people pointed out my gender in that context, even though it was usually in a positive way (like "It's cool to see a girl/woman in this line of work.").

Granted, I have always been a pretty big tomboy (something I've taken great pride in), and I tend to have interests and mannerisms that seem a bit younger than what one would expect from an adult. I should also mention here, that I'm aroace (aromantic asexual), so it could also be, that since "men" and "women" are generally seen as more mature and sexually active than "boys" and "girls", that could have something to do with it. I tried thinking about how it would feel to be called a boy or possibly use he/him pronouns (along with girl and she/her), but my feelings about that kinda changes from time to time. Sometimes I'm okay with it, but most of the time I would prefer she/her. Even when the "boy" part felt right, it still felt like I was at least a TINY bit more girl than boy, so I think it's safe to say, that I'm at least MOSTLY a girl. One thing, I forgot to mention, is that I often find it easier to talk to / make friends with boys than girls. Not sure if that has anything to do with this whole thing, but thought I should clarify i

In honor of Transgender Awareness Week and Transgender Remembrance Day today, this post is for our trans, non-binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid friends. Applying to college and trying to figure out a good fit for you is hard enough, but when you’re applying to college and you’re trans, non-binary, genderfluid, or genderqueer, it can be especially tough. And, if you’re in one of those groups, you know that these students face additional challenges at home and at school -- and that certainly extends to college admissions as well.

Four Quick Tips:

1. Keep up with the Forms: While many colleges ask for your preferred name, you may still need to use your birth name, if it hasn’t been legally changed yet so that all your paperwork and files won’t get lost or disorganized.
2. Think about Your Essays: To come out or not to come out? You don’t have to write about being transgender in your essays, but you certainly can if it’s a story you want to tell. If you’re worried that being trans might hurt you in admissions, ask yourself this question: Do I want to attend a college that would deny me because of who I am?
3. Check State Laws: I got this amazing advice from a fellow mom of a nonbinary child: “It’s worth checking the state laws where the college is located—the most supportive campus in the world can’t help your student if the state doesn’t guarantee access to health care, makes name/marker change incredibly difficult, etc.”
4. Ask Questions: Be sure to ask colleges these kinds of questions when doing your research or reaching out or on tours/visits/info sessions:

• Do they have gender-inclusive housing?
• Do they have a nondiscrimination policy for trans/queer students?
• Do they allow students to change their names on campus records?
• What resources and opportunities do they have to support trans/queer students?
• Do the schools' health clinics and health plans cover trans medical care, if that’s something you are interested in?

Check Out These Helpful Resources:

• MIT's Blog: Applying While Transgender (https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/applying-while-transgender/)
• FAQ About Transgender Students at Colleges and Universities ([https://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-rights/article/trans-in-college-faq](https://www

If anyone can tell me what is the most appropriate term in hindi I should use for this I will be obliged. 🙏🏽

Hi everyone! So recently, I have been questioning being a trans man. Either I’m a trans man who’s pansexual, or im just a lesbian “insert gender here” in denial. Would you all be so kind to use different pronouns to talk about me in the comments? Thank you. Just call me L.

I tried looking up the differences online, though they mainly focus on how genderqueer is a political term that makes gender a "queer" thing; interesting, but not very clear. Are they the same thing? Thanks!

I'd always imagined gender-nonconformity to be pretty self-explanatory, and genderqueer can be a word to describe... really anything. I know some lesbians, butch lesbians specifically, identify as genderqueer while simultaneously identifying as cis women. It can be used to describe gender, relationship to it, or your nonconformity. Whereas nonbinary would specifically be a gender identity and have (little to) no relation to your presentation

But still, it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. I deal with a lot of brain fog and it's usually pretty difficult to tell where I fall on the spectrum - I used to identify as nonbinary, but I don't anymore, even tho I still relate to nonbinary people's experiences and by definition could be categorized AS nonbinary, it's not a personal identity of mine.

I call myself genderqueer because in my head, it can exist as a sort of middle ground between cis and trans I suppose - I don't know if I'm just a very gender nonconforming person or what. I don't identify as trans or nonbinary (despite identifying *with* those) but at the same time I don't completely identify with my assigned gender, and use other labels like xenogender. It's all very complicated and difficult to navigate.

I guess I'm just wondering how other people view their gender, their relation to it, whether you consider yourself trans or nonbinary or not. Maybe seeing other peoples stories and hearing their experiences could help me with my own

Quick background: 35 bi cis male, married with kids. Been secretly crossdressing since high school and finally opened up about that and my sexuality in therapy over the last four months. My wife has been ultra-supportive through this journey.

I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to be a girl, wishing I could flip a switch back and forth between girl and guy as I pleased. I’ve never been dressed fem outside of my house and my wife has agreed to plan a night to go out to dinner where I dress up completely fem and I’m so excited to have that experience.

I like being a guy and I want to have the ability to transform into a girl but don’t want to be a girl forever and I don’t see my future self as a woman. I experience the gender euphoria when I wear fem clothes but also realized that I get it when I put on gym shorts and a t-shirt after I wake up in the morning, get out of the shower or when I had an office job and I’d get home from a long day. A nice tailored suit or tux makes me feel this way too. I just didn’t realize any of this was gender euphoria until literally this morning because I don’t get a boner every time I wear these clothes haha.

In talking to trans people, it seems they think I may be trans and don’t realize it yet, afraid to leave my masculinity behind, but I plain don’t want to. I like my masculine self, I like being a guy, it’s part of my identity. It’s as if I have two personalities, masculine and feminine and both want their opportunity to shine.

I’m curious to hear what the Genderqueer sub has to say, any feedback is greatly appreciated!

So I’m a straight cis male, I know that for sure. What I can’t figure out is what ‘group’ I fall into when it comes to the way I dress and act. I wear crop tops and act feminine whilst still having masculine traits. Is there a term for what this would be?

Hi there, Im non-binary (afab) and because of that my experiences have been less then great; most hairstylist see me as my biological sex and every time without fail they “feminize” my haircut. It’s gotten to the point where my past three hair cuts have been by friends who are in the same boat as me. I was wondering if anyone knows of any genderqueer hairstylists in Victoria?

Amab, genderqueer (can present masc or fem) into anyone interesting. Cute as a guy or dressed up in girl mode. Love guys, gals, non-binary pals, and anyone else. Tend towards submissive bottom but can top and dom for the right person. Would be awesome to find another switch. On the chubby side here but working on it. Like all body types. On the kinky side as well so the dirtier you are the better! Hit me up don’t be shy. As long as this post is up I’m still looking and checking back

A young man who just moved in on my street saw my Pride flag and came over to talk to me. After talking for a while about his life, he threw a question at me I didn’t have an answer for. Maybe the group can help.

First: He was born male, but he is definitely feminine in every way. He loves dressing like a fairy Princess when he does cosplay, but he also wears dresses around the house in front of his mom, and she’s cool with it. He has no interest in anything masculine, and prefers women as friends and confidants. He says he raises the pitch of his voice to sound more feminine, and he is definitely a “Queen” in his mannerisms and speech patterns. Gah, he’s fantastic. My youngest (who is NB) loved him immediately.

So anyway, he is cis (but questioning) and he is only attracted to women. Never had any attraction toward a male.

He asked me “So what do you think I am in LGBTQ+?”

I told him that I’d ask the group. I wanted to say he is gender nonconforming, and since he prefers feminine things almost exclusively, perhaps genderqueer?

This is a discovery he has to make himself, I know. Like we all do. But I’m just curious what the group thinks. Is he LGBTQ+, and if he is, where does he land?

He’s 14, so I’m sure he has plenty of personal exploration left to go.

Can some of you non-binary, agender, demigirls/boys, genderfluid, etc tell me how you knew you were genderqueer? Thanks!

also if I’m using gender queer wrong, I had no idea! I am sorry if I offended you.. or just misunderstood it completely.