My dad trained his dog to sniff rocks and bark when it found a fossil.

It's a trained barkeologist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2020
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I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VanillaCanoeSticker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur’s fart?

A blast from the past

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HelloYellow17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
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The archeologist thought he had dug up a full dinosaur

but it just was a fossil arm

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vagdryna
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2020
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Police raised an alert in error, thinking they’d discovered a recently severed appendage.

But it was a fossil arm.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/carriager
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
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Scientists have recently discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart.

They say it's a blast from the past.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 58
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/skullsparasiteunit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2018
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My 3yr old son told me there was a real dinosaur in the house! So we spent the morning looking for it when we saw a tail around the corner, but it was just a fossil-arm.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rasich
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2019
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Did you hear about the fossil they just found in South America?

It’s like a Brazilian years old.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Blickhill17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2019
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I found a fossil today.

Not worth much money, but it has sedimental value.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mortambulist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2019
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You're a fossil sample and I'm an impatient paleontologist

Cause I want to date you badly

-Ninja Sex Party lyrics

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/marsbars111
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2017
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what did the archaeologist say when accused of lying about fossils?

Hey, those artifacts ...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrYegg3000
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2018
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/robroy865
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2015
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Fossil record...

...it's rock solid evidence of evolution.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_Noah271
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2017
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What kind of party do paleontologists throw when they find a fossilized tibia?

A big shin dig!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FutureFarm1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2018
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Extra thicc
πŸ‘οΈŽ 71
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrunkOnSocks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2020
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What fossils do computer scientists dig for?

Trilobytes!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cancer_in_a_Cup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2016
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I thought I found a dinosaur bone in my back yard

... but it was a fossil arm.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kmo78
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2020
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What do you call a sick dinosaur?

a bronchitis!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notalurkerthistime
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2020
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The fossil watches are really funny

I was in class and noticed my friend was wearing a new watch. I said "Hey is that a Fossil?" he said "Yeah I found it at the dig site" Stupid me said "Woah really! ..." laughs ensue.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThirdCocacola
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2014
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My dad's watch is so old...

I think it's a fossil.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/les_veggies
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2019
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What do you call a giant mushroom?

Hufungus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Popes1ckle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2019
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Everyone wonders how the two kids got the old Jeep to work in Jurassic World.

Easy, they used fossil fuel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/primetime061
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2019
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At my job as a paleontologist, I was searching for the thigh bone of a Neanderthal.

I thought I had found it, but it was a fossil arm. Then upon searching the site further, I found a petrified sausage. It was the missing link.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2018
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Did you hear about the disgraced archaeologist?

His career was in ruins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TehIrishSoap
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2018
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Why can’t dinosaurs drive?

Too many T-Rex

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZombieQueen666
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2018
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My anthro professor had a good one today...

So today in anthro we were discussing what methods are used in dating fossils and fossil sites. We started talking about using rock layers to date and he said "this reminds me of one of the colleagues I had. He was pretty young and when ever we had our get togethers he would bring this beautiful woman, different every time, that always turned out to be his cousin. Anyways this method is an example of relative dating."

There were a couple laughs and one audible groan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 428
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BombXIII
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2014
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So I was at work

Discussing our watches, I had a Timex and my boss came up to me and said that he had a Fossil, I replied "really? It doesn't look that old."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Da_Braz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2017
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Did you hear they found new evidence of the missing link?

Hopefully it's not just another fossil arm.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/veektohr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2012
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There's a reason why archaeology majors are in such low demand.

It's a dying field.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bengalsix
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2016
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The shop assistant just groaned...

My girlfriend wnted a new watch so we went to the local shopping centre to go to the Fossil shop. It was shut due to a power outage. Go back the next day and they're open; a quick chat with the shop assistant and she says the problem still isn't fixed and they're using generators to try and get through the day.

I couldn't help myself and say "I guess that means you're running on Fossil Fuel then?"

It didn't go down very well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 60
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hiro51
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2014
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I use this one almost daily

I work in a watch and accessory store, which sits directly across from a sephora, consequently we get a lot of husbands, dad's partner's etc. wandering through. They usually make a comment about waiting on some.

My response "Well Fossil is a great place to kill time"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/inigomelo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2014
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