Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest

For I have synonymed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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My church gives away pointy flags to those who ask forgiveness from a priest...

You should go there if you seek pennants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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I told my daughter, β€œGo to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, β€œWhat’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."

"It’s pasture bedtime!”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Forgive me father.
πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pockets-sandy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Forgiveness is the most important part of a well balanced breakfast.
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Forgive my brain, but I felt the urge to share this baby of mine
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClerSeaworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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It took me months to forgive my science teacher for wearing this to school.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotooFace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Dear God, thank you for these noodles.

Ramen.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Benstrosity
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Forgive me lord, for the source is https://www.facebook.com/1091662394221761/posts/2613451882042797/
πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Why didn't Obi-Wan forgive Darth Maul for killing his master?

He wasn't willing to let Qui-Gons be bygones.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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NEW Greta Thunberg Meme I made today (Please forgive if it already exists)
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blobeat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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Please forgive me for my inability tp resist.
πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_second_choice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Forgive me
πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fishy1233
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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How did Jesus get his physique?

Crossfit

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Forgive me
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Algerian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Forgive me for this one....
πŸ‘︎ 301
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeybthehuman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
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Wood is a very forgiving material to work with

That's why Jesus is a carpenter

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultrafas_tidious
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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What did the banker break up with his girlfriend after she demanded that he forgive her loan?...

He lost interest

Edit: *Why

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vladipus222
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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I've been in a bit of a forgiving mood lately...

So here's a whole gallery

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisisastupidname
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Timmy the tugboat captain would never forgive his peers after they would steal barge-moving jobs from him.

He definitely harbored a grudge.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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You’ll have to forgive my border collie

She’s a little ruff around the edges

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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My dad's amazing driving advice to my sister: "I can replace any mailbox you hit. If you collide with a cop car, I've got a good attorney. If you run over a nun, God will forgive you. But if you hit my truck, you better leave the f***ing country."
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwillhavethat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
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What do pastafarians say after saying grace?

Ramen.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTomatoHead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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A mathematician walks into a church to confess

He says to the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sined."

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarvius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Why won't Carthage forgive Rome?

Because he's still salty.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jibbroy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
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Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.

Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.

.
.
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I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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My father used this on me in '93. I hope my girlfriend will forgive me.

http://i.imgur.com/MIR1SPo.png

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2015
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Forgive the repost

https://i.imgur.com/fhSWi7O.jpg

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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What’s the best vegetable to have around when you get a flat tire?

A spare I guess

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Peas forgive the Facebook post.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/probrian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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Forgive me Father, for I have sinned

when I should have used cosine

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Something_Syck
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
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.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregorybrad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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A girl I'm dating told me to forgive her...

https://i.imgur.com/i5Te4Mh.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CampBenCh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
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God forgive me
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shakerLife
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
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Punny rabbit twitter exchange (please forgive the hashtags) imgur.com/gallery/it5SsLW
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsakev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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My balding grandfather told me that there was an adept wigmaker at the mall.

The wigmaker offered me a good deal that I was willing toupee for.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatchOutItsAdam
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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What's green and has wheels?

Grass...I lied about the wheels

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jiggz5344
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, β€œGet a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, β€œThey had eggs.”

edit: I know guys, I know, it’s supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManicMonocle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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I met a girl on Reddit and it ended in Pokemon puns

A few days ago I met a really cool girl on Reddit and then this happened. I asked and she is ok with me sharing it.

Puns here: https://imgur.com/a/8BOsNgn

Forgive my spelling but it was like 6am

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patis12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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These vegetables are colored green. google.com/search?q=colla…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PS4_noobmaster69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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I dropped some ice making drinks today...

Kicking the ice under the fridge my wife gave me a dirty look...

"Can you forgive me?" I ask.

"Of course" she replies

"Well, I guess thats water under the Fridge then..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agent_Sinatra
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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I need β€œBeau” puns!!

Please post your best Beau (my bfs name) puns. I’m making him a note jar for Valentine’s and I’m short on puns. I already have Bodacious, Beautiful, and beaucoup (bookoo)

Post just a word or a short joke. Thanks guys!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoblinQueen1998
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...

For I have synonymed.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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