My son is almost 2 and he likes to say goodbye to absolutely everything. We were watching airplanes fly by and this happened:
Son: Bye, plane!
Me: That's not a biplane!
While I was putting away the lawnmower right as the sun was setting.
"Daddy, good thing you mowed fast, or it would be dark!"
"That's right honey, I never could have finished if I moved in slow-mow"
My wife threw a tomato at me from the garden.
My lady and I workout together during the week. Yesterday was chest day and we usually start with incline DB press. She pumps out her second set very well: controlled reps, full range of motion. I was proud to see her progress. She said the weight felt easy, to which I replied, "you could increase the weight... if you were so inclined." She muttered "oh my goodness..." and walked away.
I asked if I wasn't better off heating up the chilli in the microwave. No response.
I just got up to take a piss (at two in the morning, mind you), and farted while I was peeing. Lo and behold, from across the house, I hear an audible "Ha!" Thanks, dad.
While joking with her at dinner she called me mean. I replied "at least I'm average."
