My son might be too young to get it, but I still chuckled

My son is almost 2 and he likes to say goodbye to absolutely everything. We were watching airplanes fly by and this happened:

Son: Bye, plane!

Me: That's not a biplane!

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📅︎ Jul 07 2014
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I had neurosurgery in May. I wonder how long he was planning this... imgur.com/8E4ICUk
👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/mjr861
📅︎ Sep 18 2013
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My 7 year old wasn't up to speed on this one...

While I was putting away the lawnmower right as the sun was setting.

"Daddy, good thing you mowed fast, or it would be dark!"

"That's right honey, I never could have finished if I moved in slow-mow"

My wife threw a tomato at me from the garden.

👍︎ 792
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📅︎ Sep 04 2014
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Got my gf at the gym

My lady and I workout together during the week. Yesterday was chest day and we usually start with incline DB press. She pumps out her second set very well: controlled reps, full range of motion. I was proud to see her progress. She said the weight felt easy, to which I replied, "you could increase the weight... if you were so inclined." She muttered "oh my goodness..." and walked away.

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/hu_lee_oh
📅︎ Aug 22 2014
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My girlfriend told me to heat up the chilli in the fridge for dinner.

I asked if I wasn't better off heating up the chilli in the microwave. No response.

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👤︎ u/JonnyBhoy
📅︎ Nov 19 2014
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Texted my family a post on the front page and my dad shot back with this. Should have seen it coming
👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/curly_Q
📅︎ Nov 13 2013
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Not a joke, but dad humor nonetheless

I just got up to take a piss (at two in the morning, mind you), and farted while I was peeing. Lo and behold, from across the house, I hear an audible "Ha!" Thanks, dad.

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👤︎ u/CapgrasX13
📅︎ Dec 12 2013
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Dad joked my gf!

While joking with her at dinner she called me mean. I replied "at least I'm average."

👍︎ 18
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📅︎ Apr 11 2015
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