Exsert Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Update: I made a post on Craiglist and this Amazing kind man was willing to meet KiKi even given all of KiKi's issues and they met and everything went really well. He was really a blessing because my sister was trying to take him to a shelter where I'm sure he would have been put down and thank god this man was so kind and understanding and now KiKi has a new home with a nice man. Thank you all for the tips and advice. Thanks, Y'all.

KI Ki his name is ki ki. 7-year-old Male Nurtured Blue Heeler about 55 pounds is very sweet and loving and he needs to be rehomed. If anyone knows of any Queensland Heeler Rescues in Missouri that would take an unsocialized dog. Long story short my sister lives in a small apartment and cannot keep him. She cannot provide the exercise that is needed for him. He stays in a small apartment all day and she will only take him out to go to the bathroom. She has a year old son and he is constantly pulling his hair and ears and Ki Ki nipped at her son's face and she cannot take care of the dog anymore. I would take him but I also live in a small apartment and we cannot give the dog the attention that it needs either. He is a very athletic dog, smart, cuddly, and strong. He would make a GREAT cattle dog. He is house trained, he is very smart, and will let us know when he has to go potty. He is trained to sit and do basic commands.

The truth about Ki Ki:

- He has not been properly socialized at a young age as he should have been. He did use to live with his dog brother from when he was born to about 2 years old. He also lived with our older dogs and didn't have any problems with them. He was always the dominant and intense dog out of the bunch but he co-existed with the other dogs and it was fine.

- My sister moved to Missouri and she brought Ki Ki out here and he lived with 2 other dogs and co-existed with them also but she said that she had to feed him separately because he would get possessive around food.

- she has been living in her current apartment for 2 years and he has been the only dog in the house. We tried introducing him back to our old family dog that he used to live with and he gets aggressive with him. Whenever he sees another dog he just gets very aggressive now.

- introducing him to people is a process and it takes him time to warm up to people. He does eventually warm up to people and he will lay on you and lick him if you give him treats and especially if you met him outside of his territory (the apartment)

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

I'm growing several different varieties of tomatoes in very close proximity, and saving seeds. I don't mind if I get a few accidental crosses, but I do want to make sure the majority of the seeds are true to the parent.

So if some pollen from another variety floats past a flower, and then I also vibrate that same flower to release its own pollen, will every single seed in that fruit be a cross? Or will the fruit end up with both crossed and true seeds?

I just need to figure out if I need to save seeds from multiple fruits to guarantee some parent-true seeds, or if a single fruit from each plant will suffice.

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved