Know what the female equivalent of blood brothers are?

Blood blisters.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/apolaine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty.

I said because she is a pessimist.

πŸ‘︎ 344
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
America made Among Us, what’s Europe’s equivalent?

Among Eu.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealQwasson_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What is he underwater equivalent of β€œThe office”

The Offish

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krowsfeet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I wasn't amused when my friend stole my equivalent trigonometric expressions

Identity theft is not a joke.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyInFridge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the musical equivalent of a lead balloon?

A Led Zeppelin

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
In some parts of the world an AK-47 costs the equivalent of a chicken.

Which is a pretty good deal for those on a poultry wage.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I talked my dad into watching a samurai movie by calling it the Japanese equivalent of a Western.

Dad: "So it's an Eastern."

I walked right into that one.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/quodpossumus
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad (points at my foot): your sock has a hole in it!

Me (checking my sock): no it doesn’t!

Dad: well, how did you get your foot in?

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fretlessbayouboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the male equivalent of a gynecologist?

A "Guy"necologist

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoiMatty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
🚨︎ report
What is the mage's equivalent of mano a mano combat?

Mana a mana

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsProfOak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Are grandpas the equivalent of a level 10 dad when it comes to dad jokes?

This is a conversation on Facebook...

Grandma posts: Does anyone know how to get gorilla glue out of carpet?

Grandpa replies: Feed it a banana.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matwithonet13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Would it not stand to reason....

That 80 is the french equivalent of 420

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CannaBrained
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Was drinking a milkshake...

Having lunch and milkshakes with the family

Me: Dammit, I think there's a hole in the side of my straw.

Dad: You think that's bad?! Mine's got one at the top and one at the bottom

Groans all round

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmycoola
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
🚨︎ report
When I used to work at a restaurant...

For awhile there in university, I worked as an appetizer cook for a higher end restaurant. At the end of some shifts I'd make use of the staff discount and cook up some calamari or make a sushi roll for myself.

Sometimes my GF (now wife) would join me in this post-shift snack. When she would ask something equivalent to, "How was your shift?" I'd often respond mid-bite and say in a snooty French accent, "I ate my work!" She's been groaning for almost 20 years now.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2016
🚨︎ report
Pulled a nice one at dinner with my mother (may be confusing for non-Spanish speakers)

We went out to eat at a Cuban place and my mother had ordered some food with a side of tostones (a plantain dish). She complained that they had too much garlic to which I made a joke:

"Yeah, as soon as you bit into it, you tatsed the garlic and were like , 'Β‘Ajo!'"

(Β‘Ajo! is a Spanish exclamatory similar to "ooooooh" or "oh my goodnes." It doesn't have a direct English equivalent but that's what it means. The Spanish word for garlic also happens to be ajo, so I made a pun playing off the dual meaning of the word. Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. )

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicCam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad visits a coffee shop on his way home

He said he had tried the new Costa (a UK equivalent to Starbucks) in town. I asked him what it was like, having not visited it myself and he simply replied "It Costa fortune"

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/laggsurfer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
🚨︎ report
I never thought my Mexican father would pull on one me.

Then again, I'm quite oblivious to his subtle jokes, but I think this one takes the cake:

So anyway, the other day he had me look something up for him on my laptop. Occasionally, my mouse pad lags and this was one of those times. I began to rub my finger to get it to work when my dad lays this one one me: "ΒΏTiene comezΓ³n o quΓ©?" Which is roughly translated to: "Is it(the laptop) itchy or what?"

Now, I'm sure if I was a dude and my dad was one of those dads, he would've said something along the lines of my laptop's mouse pad being equivalent to a woman's nether regions. But that might just be the way I think.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slutallitits
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.