I’ve decided to switch jobs from gardener to breast enlargements surgeon.

It was easy, both are basically implants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/exturo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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When your prostate is enlarged

You know urine trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/letsgetrandy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Doctor: "Your daughter's adenoids are enlarged and need removing"

Me: "So we need to subtractnoids?"

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tkh0812
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2015
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click it to enlarge. but this is me and my friends being geniuses. greediszc.tumblr.com/post…
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zbzqgg
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2012
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Dad, did you have a haircut?

No son, I had my scalp enlarged.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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My mom's accidental dad joke

My great aunt died recently. My mom called and told me at school. I guess my aunt had fallen asleep on the couch and never woke up. She had an enlarged heart, the doctors said, and it gave out on her while she was sleeping.

I didn't really know my aunt, but my mom grew up with her. So I asked my mom if she was okay.

"Yeah I'm okay," she said. "I will miss her, but she died peacefully. She was a good woman. She had a really big heart."

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geekcheese
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
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My dad and I are awful...

While watching Penn and Teller: Bullshit. The episode is Sex, sex, sex.

Dad: "Hey Ejgamer, what are you watchin'?"

Me: "This lady who can enlarge boobs through hypnosis."

Dad: "You mean hypno-tits?"

Me: "Yeah but I'm pretty sure it'll be a bust."

Obligatory groans ensued.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ejgamer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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Got my wife with this one

I ordered a l dry erase calendar from Amazon, and it arrived today. My wife got the package asked me "Honey, did you order something off of Amazon?" Me "oh yeah, it's my penis enlarger" Her "ha ha. It's a really big box" Me "damnit, they sent the wrong thing"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZippymcOswald
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2017
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New eBay Scam

Be careful what you purchase on eBay

Spent $50 on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.

Instructions said don't use in the sunlight.

*Yep, my dad sent this gem to me in the form of a forward email from my grandfather...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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