Endlessness Puns

I keep them in my dad-abase.

You cut the ends and now have endless bread.

Oh no! I'm gonna be lake!

I gotta say, it’s pretty suite.

There was endless shelling

Last night, my daughter and I:

Her: "I'm cold, dad."

Me: "No, I'm cold dad, you're cold Elizabeth."

Her: "Dad, stop it! I'm cold, dad!"

Me: "No, I'm cold dad, you're cold Elizabeth!"

Her: "Daaaad! I'm cold, dad!"

Me: "I think what you want to say is "Dad, I'm cold.'"

Her: "Dad, I'm cold."

Me: "Hi cold, I'm Dad."

Her: "DAD NO."

Edit: Oh god the formatting was horrible, sorry about that.

“I’m never going to get to the bottom of this.”

They just work on so many levels

The pie rooted deeply on the ground. I pulled out the root and ‘the root of the pie’ (√π) was endless, because it is

√3.14152635915924843444815927915932653598979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983367336244065664308602139494639522473719070217986094370277053921717629317675238467481846766940513200056812714526356082778577134275778960917363717872146844090122495343014654958537105079227968925892354201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837978049951059731732816096318590244594553469083026425223082533446850352619118817101000313783875288658753320838142061717766914730359825349042875546873115956286388235378759375195778564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983367336244065664308602139494639522473719070217986094370277053921717629317675238467481846766940513200056812714526356082778577134275778960917363717872146844090122495343014654958537105079227968925892354201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837956485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094330572703657595919530921861173819326117931051185480744623799627495673518857527248912279381830119491298336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021798609437027705392171762931767523846748184676694051320005681271452635608277857713427577896091736371787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235420199561121290219608640344181598136297747713099605187072113499999983799605187072113499999983797804995105973173281609631859024459455346908302642522308253344685035261911881710100031378387528865875332083814206171776691473035982534904287554687311595628638823537875937519577856485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094330572703657595

Because I can’t even.

“With the candlestick”.

My endless stream of Dad Jokes has rubbed off. I’m very proud!

I ordered the endless buffet and all they gave me were five loaves of bread and two fish

The kids thought it was aMAZEing.

I've got all the tine in the world.

It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.

My daughter who is 15 was hanging out with one of her friends. They were having a typical teenage conversation over which is better turkey or chicken. After a good 5 minutes of "Turkey.. No chicken... No turkey!" I interjected and said "You know what... I think your conversation is pretty fowl". It was a very proud period of silence after that.

An awesome server that combines food with puns to create the perfect recipe for a server! We're still new but we'll grow in thyme and I promise we're a lot of fun!

Don't miss out, give us a chance, the pastabilities are endless here!

Endlessly searching for the perfect watermelon graphic because they're all too dull, too seedy, or just plain suspicious....

The pastabilities are endless!

So a doctor that I work for has the ultimate dad jokes. One of my favorites was last night:

We are repairing a dogs lip... Dr. S: His lip looks like hamburger, yeah? Me: ...yeah it kind of does Dr S: So you know what that makes me? Me: ...... Dr. S: Hamburger Helper!!!

Hahaha :) I can't remember them all right now.

You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.

Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter.

However the first person who tried it is still crying endless tiers!

They either suffer twice as many dad jokes or an endless cycle of “ask your mother”.

Endless Love

Cheery Bowel Syndrome

Angry Bowel Syndrome

Naive Bowel Syndrome (right before you have Taco Bell)

The list is endless and frightening

Papa, "What colour is it?"

3 yr old, "Blue."

Papa, "Where did you see it last?"

3 yr old: "In my hand."

Endless entertainment!

Edit: formatting

I turned it on its side, now it’s endless opportunity.

Theme is Mexican food and my last name is Bean. I know the possibilities are endless but I want something perfect.

The flavours are endless

A sauce of endless entertainment.

He followed the enchanting voice till he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive and returned home.

He showed his friends and posted videos on tik tok, and the singing fish went viral. It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was it's favorite.

The fisherman toured around the world with the fish and set up a website to sell merch. The clothing he made sold like crazy, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts to be made in advance.

Unfortunately, the fish died, and the public lost interest. The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.

If we ever get to 2021. I will be endlessly talking people that `2020 is hindsight` and the sear terribleness of this pun got all god and Eldridge abominations to band up and try to end humanity before that happens. With this, earthly insight, I decided that everyone must be informed of the pun. It is, my and I can't die peacefully knowing it has not laid its mark on a mortal soul

The legal battle would be endless.

Son: “Dad, why do you keep telling dad jokes”

Dad: “well you see son, once you become a dad, you’re stuck in an endless cycle of working from dusk to dawn to pay your mortgage and bills. There’s no more sex or passion with your mom. Dad jokes are my one attempt to keep humor in my life”

Son: “But Dad, you can —“

Dad: “you could say I’m “Dad” inside” weeps

The pastabilities are endless.

We can't mention the fact that someone's deaf without my Dad responding 'pardon?'

As a child I would repeat myself endlessly as he lolled inside.

And she said, "I want to pack light." and I responded with, "Okay, you're going to need some flashlights, a lantern, and a few packs of matches..." The groaning was endless.

David Justice (MLB Commentators provide an endless flow of Dad Jokes)

Whenever she sneezes I say "achoo!". This morning she sneezed twice, so I said "achoo" twice. She said "no dad, you mean achtwo, because I sneezed twice!"

I guess she's getting her revenge. She'll make a fine dad one day.

Just finished explaining to my dad what Tinder was and he let this one off:

"Now I know how pirates found all that booty."
"....What?"
"Tindarrrrrrrggggg."

Everyone within earshot instantly groaned while my dad I and laughed endlessly

What do you call endless love?

Louis Armstrong and Miles Davis playing tennis.