My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.

My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.

My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.

4yo: "I like your shirt mama!

Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?

4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"

πŸ‘︎ 907
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shade0217
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Did you hear about the daughter Anakin had after becoming more machine than man?

Elly Vader

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDianthus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Why did the farmer win an award?

Because he was out standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bic_Parker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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I'm reading a book on anti-gravity

Its impossible to put down!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naiphe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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The first time they ever met, my dad blindsided my mom with this prophetic alphabet dad joke.

So my dad's name is Jay and my mom's name is Kay. The first time they were introduced, it was obvious their names were destined for dad joke immortality:

Mom's friend: Jay, this is my friend Kay! I thought you two should meet!

Mom: Hi.

Dad: Ya know, if we get married and have kids... we could name them Ellie, Emmie, and Opie. We could eat alphabet cereal for breakfast and alphabet soup for dinner! :) ;)

Mom: ..... uh..

30 years later and they did get married, and did get their "Emmie"! (my sister's name is Emily)

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Egdirdle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
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History Dad Joke

In my AP European History Class, we have to a Long Essay Question. For our final, we are allowed to pick from two different questions. We had done a lot of preparing in class for the Long Essay Question. It was most commonly abbreviated as LEQ. (ELL IEH KIYU). So on the day of my test:

Me: Hey Mr. [teacher], do you know my friend Ellie? She was in your class last year.

Teacher: Uhh, last name?

Me: Q

Teacher: That was awful

Me: Do I get extra credit for that?

Teacher: No.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Acceptable_Bottle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Pun names for an extreamly tall woman

Looking for a stage name wanting something referring to my height 6’3” so far I’ve got Ellie Vated and Emma Zonian but would love some other suggestions! Thanks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matchboxmegan2202
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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I met an old Chinese man named Ryan O'Connor so I asked him how he got that name

Chinese guy: "While in line at Ellis Island I was talking to the man in front of me named Ryan O'Connor. When I got to the front, the immigration official asked me for my name and I told him, "Tsam Ting"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4chzbrgrzplz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
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My dad, My uncle and I were walking on a boat bridge.

There was a half-sunk boat in one of the spaces, but you could still read the name of the boat. The boat was called Goulding, probably named after Ellie Goulding or something. My dad saw an opportunity and said "that boat is not Goulding, it's Zinking"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlienFrogThing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
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I labeled the four 'claws' on my car's jumper cables

One on each of the two positive and two negative ends:

Jed. Jethro. Granny. Ellie Mae.

("the Clamp-its.")

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone4011s
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
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Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan ... (xpost /r/vegetarian)

Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan:

Ron Acerous, Sal Amander, Herb Avore, Chic Adee, Al Bacore, Paul R Baer, Al Batros, Wally Bee, Lady Bugg, Jay Byrd, Ann Chovie, Anna Condra, Barry Cuda, Terry Dactyl, Ray N Deer, Flo N Der , Erma Dillo, Ann Enome, Terry Err, Liz Erd, Ann Fibian, Dale Finn, Redd Fox, Buddy Fly, Ken Garoo, Allie Gator, Billy Goat, Pan Guin, Ann Gus, Hal Ibut, Bob Katz, Tom Katz, Anne Kelosaurous, Don Key, Ann T. Lope, Moe Lusk, C. Lyon, Chip Monk, Flo Mingo, Sal Mon, Anna Mull, Barr Nicole, Kay Nine, Kyle Otee, Al Paca, Lia Pard, Millie Pede, Ellie Phant, Arthur Podd, Jack Rabbit, Gerry Raffe, Ty Ranaceourous, Mack Rell, Wally Rus, Jack Russel, Fez Sant, Dina Sauer, Drew Sophila, Chris Station, Hal Steen, Clyde Sudale, Ann Teeter, Pan Ther, Earl Thurfworm, Tara Ann Tula, Bea Tule, Ray Venn, Bea Ver, and Beau Vine.

I couldn't have done it without your support !!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStupidVegNoob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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First day at work

I started my internship today at an environmental consulting firm. My boss was introducing me to a colleague.

Boss: "This is Ellie-okay, he's the summer intern and he's studying civil engineering."

Colleague: "I can tell, he's very polite."

All the guys around his cubicle groaned while the three of us let out a big laugh. I think I'm gonna like working here.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ellie-okay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
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Got dad joked while playing The Last of Us.

After the big fight in the library in Philly.

Ellie: "Phew. Lets lighten the mood. Space rocks taste better than Earth rocks because they are a little meteor."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/panken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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