I make elemental puns...

periodically.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Out of the four elements, why was Water not invited to the party?

Because only Earth, Wind, and Fire know how to groove.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CarrotBIAR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists have added a new element to the periodic table that's only found in beans

Aleguminum

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eagleboy444
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a pirates favorite element?

Gold

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FixOk2298
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do politicians love about elements?

ELECTrons

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShivaKrishna999
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I failed my test which involved memorising every element in the periodic table as there was one I forgot

Came so close yet sulphur

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EggMcGee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2021
🚨︎ report
If you get an Egyptian air elemental to talk to you, would they be...

Tootin' common?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rammerator
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2021
🚨︎ report
If they made a song about my favourite element

It would be fire

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What is Michael Jackson's Favorite element in the periodic table?

He Helium

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HotTundra
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is helium the most respected element?

People speak very highly of it

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D3ltaforc3
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the philosopher's favorite element?

Plato-nium

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ja1FdC
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
How often does a chemist tell a joke about elements?

Periodically

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the funniest of all the known elements?

He He He.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I once told a chemistry joke

I got no reaction

πŸ‘︎ 388
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arl107
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A man recently died when a periodic table display fell on him...

The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the Elements".

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?

Nitrogen, sulfur, Fluorine, and tungsten, cause they are NSFW.

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a weeaboo's favorite chemical element?

Manganese

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens to elements after they die?

They barium

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Corleone_Michael
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I can control the element. The element of....

SUPRISE!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_RAWR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the new element that was created (Ah)

The element of surprise.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MushuTheGreat17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
If I discovered a new element that is slightly denser than the human body.

I would name it hooman, so people could ask are we hooman or are we denser?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/losersmanual
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What chemical element is symbolized by the letters Ah?

The element of surprise!

πŸ‘︎ 337
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pandagami
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Anti-Earth

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 light-years from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony on the way."

They had been driving for a couple of minutes when the recruit saw glowing buildings far away.

"Why are the buildings shining like that?", he asked.

"Didn't they brief you about the colony?", the driver asked "We don't call it Anti-Earth for no reason, it's literally the opposite of Earth. Any element rare on Earth is as common as carbon (C) here, and interestingly carbon (C) doesn't occur naturally here. So we had to make good of what we had, the buildings are made of rare metals like radium (Ra) which glow in the dark."

After half an hour they arrived at what seemed the main highway, the road had a faint bluish glow and the sides were lined with metallic posts shining faintly in the double moonlight. They stopped near a small dilapidated shack with the words "COMMUNICATION OFFICE" crudely etched on the walls.

"This is your office. You are supposed to handle communications for the colony," the driver said. "We can't use any wireless communication as the high amount of radioactive gases in the atmosphere interferes with the signal, so we have to use a type of telegraph instead. Come on, I'll show you our most important resource."

They walked a bit till they reached a plantation full of bizarre trees. Some were made of precious metals, some of common earth metals and some of them were glowing radioactively.

"This is the plantation for building the posts. We brought these seeds from Earth and planted them, apparently as they couldn't get the conventional elements they just used what the soil contained. We just sell the gold (Au), silver (Ag) and platinum (Pt) trees to Earth, the iron (Fe) and aluminium (Al) are used for constructing equipment and there are some pretty rare elements like uranium (U) and astatine (At) (which is the rarest element on Earth) which are used for scientific research. However, these aren't what we are here for."

The driver motioned him to follow him towards a small area of trees with a silvery sheen to them.

"These are made of rhenium (Re) one of the densest elements with one of the highest melting and boiling points. It is strong enough to withstand the toxic atmosphere and radioa

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flwthewhiterabbit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2021
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Scientists launch sneak attack on the periodic table.....

Add the element of surprise.

πŸ‘︎ 878
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
The tin man

The tin man is walking down the street minding his own business when a steam roller comes by and runs him over.

Unable to move in his flattened state the tin man says "curses, foiled again".

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nkiehl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of elements know everybody on earth?

Met-all

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/severelampwatcher
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How often do people who study scientific elements tell dad jokes?

Periodically

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MansNotHot772
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a pirate's favourite element in the periodic table?

Gold. Why would he like argon or carbon

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is it called when you get sent to a prison made of only two elements?

A compound sentence

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The Queen of all elements.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Scientists have discovered a new element in the periodic table.

The element will be represented by the letters AH. This is of course the element of surprise.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unikorn9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Astonishmium
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenebalism
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?

They have a lot of properties.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/no-nope-nay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What is pirate's favorite chemical element?

Arrr-yon!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Chinese synthesize new element which causes a 500% increase rate of panda mating

It's panda-moan-ium.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Psyched_to_Learn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Which periodic element is the worst swimmer?

Zink

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eliastw03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...

SURPRISE!

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m not in my element

Someone asked me the other day if I liked sodium, I said β€œNa.”

My favorite element right now is Boron, but it changes periodically

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oopsda16
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
You need to consider the elements of a pun
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Bach was a great classical composer of interweaving repetitive elements?

I hear he was baroque all the time. It fugue-ures seeing how he was famous.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How often do I like jokes about chemistry?

Periodically.

πŸ‘︎ 151
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrizztoElCazador
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What was the first element discovered by a pirate?

Arrrrgon.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/left-center-right
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Chemistry class left the most important elements!!
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slothstan1995
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My friends tried to convince me I was a chemical element with the atomic number 82....

...Thankfully, I'm not so easily lead

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marmeladovsemyon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Out of his Element
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdiddy1026
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Told this Chemistry joke on here before..

.. but it had a very bad reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 753
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What's your favourite element on the periodic table?

Mine's the element of surprise

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strong91105
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Is Belgium a chemical element?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.