Eileithyia Puns

I see quite a lot of people speaking about their dream fights in Record of Ragnarok, or different dream competitors, so here is mine. I think Albert Fish and Eileithyia should fight, mainly because of just how different they are. Eileithyia was the Goddess of Childbirth, while Albert Fish was a cannibal who kidnapped, raped, and ate 3 children, and killed a hundred more. He is one of the most disgusting and awful people in the entire history of the world, and that is the soul reason why I believe he would be the perfect match for Eileithyia. The bad blood between these two would be immense, on par with Jack vs. Heracles, and maybe even worse. The Goddess of Childbirth would certainly want to kill the man responsible for murdering children.

Now, of course, we need to give Albert Fish a Volund. I was sort of stuck on what to give him, since there wasn't much on him, but then I stumbled upon something he called his "Implements of Hell". For his Volund, I believe he should have a sort of Swiss army knife weapon, maybe the size of a sword. There would be 3 weapons within this: A meat clever, a butcher knife, and a small handsaw. This would be Fish's Volund.

For Eileithyia, she would wield her torch. Of course, this would have to be made stronger than just an average torch, so possibly give it the ability to cast a wide range of flames.

With this, we're ready for a battle for the ages. I imagine the fight would go as such:

Eileithya, filled with nothing but rage, is already on the attack, trying to charge this devilish man to a crisp, but Fish is simply faster, and smarter. I assume this man would wait for his opening, and then attempt to go on the offense, trying to slice and stab at Eileithya. She's able to hold back for a while, until Fish is able to maneuver past her fire and land our first blood attack, a simple stab to the gut. This continues to go, Fish sticking to his strategy, knowing he can outrun and attack her. At some point, though, Eileithya will learn, and as Fish goes for the finishing blow, Eileithya is able to directly smack Fish with the torch, landing her first blow. And boy does it do damage, almost frying the Fish. But sadly, the killer is still alive. It continues to go on and on, back and forth, but eventually, one of them is bound to lose. And so...in the ending to this wonderful battle, it is Albert Fish coming out on top for humanity. His range of tools would simply be too much for Eileithya, who is quite inexperienced

So, I saw the name Eileithyia (the Goddess) come up on Facebook. Please tell me it’s pronounced differently than the word for “idiot”.

Or am I being an ειλειθυία?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

They were cooked in Greece.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Heya everyone, and sorry that I kept you waiting - the name of this part truly describes it, because oh boy did Hera manage to surprise me a lot while doing research. There may be a lot of easy scenarios one can come up regarding her, but once you put your mind in the gutter and start to think of them some more you end up realizing that most of them don’t really work in the world of Kid Icarus - that’s it, that’s the big surprise. Hera’s really hard figure to adapt without taking some heavy liberties for Kid Icarus! Typical culprit for this was Zeus and how his presence was necessary for the myth to keep on going, that was to be expected considering how he's not present in the games and therefore not causing problems, but there was also certain other factor that made scenario-crafting harder than one would’ve expected. So with all this being said, how did Olympus’ very own grumpy grandma surprise me and how I think that could affect her possible characterization if adapted?

To the background and history of her, Hera (Juno) is best known as the Queen of the Gods and she was Zeus’ third wife after the Oceanid Metis and the Titaness of divine law and order Themis - that is unless you lived in the city of Dodona, where it was believed the the Titaness Dione was the spouse of Zeus. Though with the knowledge that her name literally just means She-Zeus and how she’s pretty much a non-entity in the mythos, she most likely just was a female form of Zeus who during the Dark Ages separated into her own entity but never got any meaningful characterization to make her actually memorable to people who lived outside Dodona. So I guess in this sense Aphrodite is still motherless, now it’s just Zeus who’s her father rather than Uranos and no important body parts were lost in the process of making her.

Back to Hera, she’s the goddess of marriage, women, childbirth and family, and her name can be found in Mycenaean Linear B descriptions. In art she’s typically portrayed as a regally dressed beautiful woman with a polos on her head, a type of crown only her, Rhea and Cybele have been shown to wear. Her retinue is composed of Iris, the only deity on Greek mythology who actually matches the description of an angel and her two daughters, the goddess of youth Hebe (Juventus) and the goddess of childbirth Eileithyia (Lucina). She’s the youngest daughter of Cronus and Rhea, though in Iliad she calls herself their eldest one - it’s probably meant to be taken as that Cronus d

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Hello, readers! Thank you all for the continued involvement in this discussion. Today, we are looking at chapters 15 through 19 of the novel, where quite a lot happens in this story! We meet many new characters and see Circe continue to grow in her power. Feel free to respond to any of the discussion questions and any replies as well. Next Monday will be our last post for this novel. Be sure to discuss what promises to be a thrilling conclusion to the novel next week.

Chapter 15

Circe is cleaning up until there is no longer any physical evidence. She burns the bodies, but the stench of burnt flesh is difficult to clear. She waits expectantly for her father, Helios, to come and check in on her. He must know something has happened, though he doesn’t show.

Other men start coming to her island. The men all had the same story, tired, hungry, needing assistance… While she would host a few by feeding and maybe even bedding, Circe would demand them to leave after. Circe’s whole demeanor began to change when she would host others on her island. She would draw the men in, feed them, get them drunk all to their fill. Then the same moment that she was waiting for would appear. The moment of inquiring if she lived alone, the moment when it seems she is easily taken advantage of, which is her favorite now. More and more ships kept arriving and more and more pigs she would keep. Circe relished in changing men to their true shape of pig so much that she stopped waiting for them to assault her, she would strike first. Until eventually a single man comes to her home. He is different, he mentions his loving wife, inquires about her loom, admits that his crew are misbehaved, and acknowledges his own failures. When this man mentions war, he shares that the Olympians have been fighting mortals. Circe realizes that without Hermès that she hasn’t had gossip anymore, which makes her interested in his stories. After their conversation, he mentions that his men are quiet, which isn’t normal. It is brought up that he knows her and she mentions the prophecy that Hermès told her long ago. They share their names with one another, Prince Odysseus and Goddess Circe. They form a truce that she won’t attack him if he tells her the stories she has been craving.

Chapter 16

Future Circe looks back on her history and the famous song describing her first meeting with Odysseus, which portrays her as easily beaten by Odysseus. Current Circe comments that poets often reduce women

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”