While our groceries are being scanned, the clerk asks, "Have you checked your eggs?"
I responded, "No; I haven't."
The clerk opens the egg carton and my boyfriend says, "Yep! Those are eggs alright!"
I was grocery shopping with my roommates and one was picking out a dozen eggs.
Friend: "ahh gross. Look at this."
He pulls out his hand from a carton and is covered in egg.
Me: "I guess the chicken does come first."
I had to walk into the next isle to stop laughing.
In the shops
Pick up a carton of eggs
Open the carton to check for broken eggs
Say audibly "Yep, they're eggs"
Sometimes get a chuckle from an obvious dad
WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
My wife and I are at my parent's house and needed some eggs. There were 3 different cartons but one of them had X's on the eggs. My wife says that she thinks they are hard boiled eggs and I instinctively reply that "it's because they weren't 21." Shook my head in shame of what I said, then chuckled.
