Doggedly Puns

So I have this app that is centered around dogs. I'm introducing a level system with 7 levels and need clever dog pun names for each level. I have a list here of the gist of what the levels should mean, but they are too boring as of now. Would love to see your pun skills at work!

• 1: Amateur
• 2: Junior Varsity
• 3: Varsity
• 4: Park Captain
• 5: Professional Player
• 6: Park All-star
• 7: Olympian Dog

Thanks! :)

a friend's text to me: I have eaten three mini hot dogs

my response: Frankly, that sounds delicious

I declare you the weiner of the food contest

I hope you dance your buns off

I relish the opportunity to ketchup at a later date

I feel like I could have done more - any other good ones out there?

So this girl I’ve been seeing for a while was at my place. She made a comment about how difficult a dogs life must be... I said “yea, it’s a rough life!” And proceeded to make three or four mor dog puns.

She walks to the Christmas tree, grabs a candy cane and throws it at me (all with a straight face).

Thinking she was mad, I asked what that was for.

She looks up, smiles, and says “It was your punish-mint.”

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: “Hey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: “What, George?”

A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. “Evenin’” says the barman, “why the long face?”

A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”

A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: “I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” “Why, what have you got?” “About £2 and a carrot.”

Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours

A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: “Of course you will, and you’ll probably win!”

Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!

A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

“I’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. “We don’t serve spirits..

A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. “Excuse me, good sir,” the horse says, “are you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, “Sorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. “Why would the circus need a bartender?”

Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.

What did the horse say when it fell? “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.

Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!

What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?

What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.

Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '

Thank you for the awards

But today he ran over 5 Miles

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door

Ruff.

SHE WAS LIVID AND SCREAMED WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH TWO DEAD DOGS !

Current status.. single

When they could be called subwoofers

Then I realised, it was on paws.

Confused and upset, I asked why.

The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.

But cats-can.

Roofing

Hailing taxis.

A labracadabrador!

Bork Bork Bork

Itd be funnier if you were a dog, trust me

The outside

I guess he has really good taste in footwear.

She said, “Quit trying to make ‘fetch’ happen.”

I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.

Purrrgatory

He's a got a faux pas now

All she does is paws and unpaws.

Because they're good buoys.

When he goes to the bathroom it could spell trouble.

Spot

Doesn’t matter they won’t come anyway.

she's a lot of bark

A cathastrophy

It was a shitzu

Because they have two left feet

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

It was really hard but I managed to mustard all the courage to do so

He got tired.

Hit the paws button

I don’t know what it is but she’s always pet-rified

I said, "I didn't know he could!"

I said “I didn’t know he could.”

“Didn't even know he played cricket" I replied

Ruff.

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door