Divergences Puns

The novels all go in different directions.

My youngest sister's birthday party was the other day, and a couple of her gifts were two books from the "Divergent" series. So my Grandmother asked her "What are all the books called?"

Sister: "Well, there's Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant..."

Fiancee: "Detergent..."

Dad: "No, that's the clean version."

My mom was controlling the PPV feature on TV and we decided on Divergent. Mom hits purchase movie and a message pops up that says "purchase successful" Dad: "Successful? I thought we were going to watch Divergent"

Dad spends 35 dollars on tickets for him and his family to see Divergent.

As the group approaches the ticket drop, I hear the dad ask the mom what half of 35 is. She says "17 and half" and the dad gets this big shit eating grin. I rip their ticket stubs and the dad puts on a serious face and says "All right, I'd like $17.50 back please."

The whole family proceeds to groan and tell him to stop as I reluctantly play along and pretend to find some cash.