I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...

Didn't want toupee full price.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Nov 02 2020
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I couldn’t find my car scraper this morning so had to use a store discount card to scrape the ice...

Didn’t really work though, I only got 20% off

👍︎ 48
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📅︎ Feb 02 2019
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I Wanna Open a Discount Grocery Store Where Everything Expires In a Week...

...gonna call it Best By.

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📅︎ Jan 05 2018
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I got an arm transplant at a great price yesterday.

It was discounted at the second hand store.

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/WackyBehr
📅︎ Mar 11 2020
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Haggling over a pricing structure with Dwayne Johnson

Dwayne Johnson recently came to the arts and crafts store I own looking to buy equipment for the wardrobe department for his latest movie. He asked if we could quickly fill a large order of cloth-cutting shears. I told him yes, but given the rush, we couldn't offer a bulk discount. For the next hour, Mr. Johnson haggled with me, insisting on paying a single, reduced price for the order of shears rather than the standard per-item price.

With my frustration growing, Mr. Johnson wouldn't back down. Finally, he made a desperate attempt to get the deal he wanted: he suggested we play any simple game of my choice; winner sets the price structure for the shears. He then asked me what I wanted to play.

Fed up, I shouted: Rock! Pay per scissors!

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/rburke319
📅︎ Jun 13 2019
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Clean kill

My grandfather, in his younger days, retired from his NASCAR dreams to do construction so he could raise a family. Fast forward 45 years to 1994. I was around 15. My grandfather, grandmother, her mother, and I were on the return trip from the Costco and liquor store just inside the no sales tax state of Oregon. My grandfather was, as usual, driving. He raced for Lincoln and they sponsored him so they gave him a really good lifetime discount. He drove a brand new Continental his entire life. He always raced down to Oregon as fast as he could and then tried beating his time while driving back. Suddenly, at about 140mph, a Pheasant committed suicide on the front end. We could see feathers occasionally come loose. Grandpa already had a couple minutes to make up. Needless to say, despite my grandma's insistance, stopping to investigate wasn't in the plans. When we got home, he was cussing an ill timed traffic light with a bored motorcycle cop parked on the sidewalk waiting for his target. My grandma and great grandma nearly died when, without batting an eye, grandpa pulled the Pheasant off the car, grabbed his Gerber knife, and stripped, cleaned, and threw the bird on the BBQ. I was in dying from laughter at this point. Grandma and my great grandma were dying from embarrassment. He offered them some and grandma angrily refused for the 3 of us, calling it road kill. Without skipping a beat, he calmly replied "This isn't road kill, it's Continental Wild Pheasant, Twice-Grilled."

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📅︎ Jul 02 2018
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Shopping at Costco today...

Shopping with son today, walking past cheese section at Costco store (a warehouse style grocery chain that sells mainly items in bulk, at discount).

Son sees a rather large multi-pack of cheese, "Wow, look at all that Brie!"

"Whoa, that's so much, it's unBRIElieveable!"

At least he smiled after facepalming. Apologies to my son, but it needed sayin'.

👍︎ 27
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👤︎ u/PaulyMcBee
📅︎ Jan 06 2014
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I couldn’t find my car scraper this morning so I had to use a store discount card to scrape the ice

It didn’t really work though, only got 20% off

👍︎ 45
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👤︎ u/jedmilne06
📅︎ Feb 03 2019
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