Mathematicians think that normal people are rude and not nice.
They think an average person is a mean person.
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︎ Oct 19 2022
π³
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π
︎ Aug 15 2022
How do you get a velociraptor?
Shared by my 11-year-old tonight...
You divide the distance raptor by the time raptor.
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π
︎ Oct 02 2022
Do NOT mess with mathematicians
They'll call the mathia on you.
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π
︎ Oct 22 2022
Cyanide derived from cedar wood is the most poisonous thing on earth.
That's why there's a Cedar Cyanide Hospital.
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︎ Dec 15 2021
Why is it so hard to teach math nowdays?
Cuz the average student is mean
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︎ Sep 22 2022
The name for Worcestershire sauce was derived in a West Virginia diner when a customer called the waitress over and asked,
"Hey, what's this here sauce?"
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π
︎ Aug 31 2021
They finally let my math teacher out of jail.
The evidence just didnβt add up.
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︎ Aug 14 2022
Never trust a train
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︎ Oct 16 2022
If you are taking a Calculus exam, make sure you donβt sit between identical twins.
Itβs difficult to differentiate between them.
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︎ Jul 30 2022
I got an f on my last calculus test
Teacher ask me why, I told him I was drunk. He replied, βnever drink and derive.β
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︎ Oct 16 2022
Why Is Beer Never Served at a Math Party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
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︎ Sep 03 2022
I *really* wanna tell you guys this awesome math joke I heard...
...But I'm 2Β² to post it! βΉ
Edit: Thanks for the awards! β€
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π
︎ Apr 01 2022
Why donβt Calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive.
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︎ Sep 06 2022
Who was the Arab mathematician who derived Quadratic Equation formula?
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Having a conversation with a math expert is hard.
They always go off on a tangent.
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︎ May 23 2022
My scientist girlfriend just told me that she needed some time and distance.
Maybe she wants to calculate velocity.
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︎ May 05 2022
These movies are so derivative.
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︎ Apr 21 2020
I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. Itβs going to be called Paw Petrol.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 13 2020
Whatβs the name of the Arab that derived the quadratic equation?
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I asked my wife: Do you think that our one-year-old knows calculus by now?
She replied: Probably, with all the formula he's been having!
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︎ May 01 2022
Why did people loose so much money in derivative products and markets.
Because they had no option.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
This is little derivative
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 18 2018
Is a dictionary typo just an accidentβ¦
...or a derelexicon of duty?
π︎ 12
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︎ May 08 2022
How do mathematicians go to work?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 26 2022
Algebra doesn't bother me and I tolerate Calculus...
... but Geometry is where I draw the line.
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π
︎ May 02 2022
My maths professor ripped off his calculus slides from another faculty...
His lecture was rather derivative.
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π
︎ Jun 17 2022
What's the derivative of Amazon?
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π
︎ Jan 13 2018
Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands?
And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands; There are no canaries there either.
π︎ 8
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︎ May 03 2022
Iβve been solving derivatives everyday, for a week and I havenβt been able to do more than 20 a day.
I guess thatβs my limit.
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 15 2020
I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.
Now I want my Nickelback.
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︎ Mar 27 2020
Never drink and derive.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Apr 06 2017
What's the third derivative of a cow?
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 24 2020
Calculus Teacher: Itβs not the Uncle Derivative.
Itβs the Auntie Derivative.
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︎ Dec 22 2019
You might think my calculus jokes are derivative, but theyβre an integral part of me.
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 13 2019
As I was walking down the street, an old man came up to me and explained all the benefits of dining on meals with mint derived from sub-shrub herbs...
I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.
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︎ Nov 27 2019
My friend wanted to try pizza made with goat cheese instead of cow derived.
I didn't think it was a gouda idea.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 07 2019
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many'...
and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 05 2018
You shouldn't take calculus after alcohol
It's irresponsible to drink and derive
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︎ Mar 16 2022
For years, scientists have been developing a new psychotropic drug derived from queen ant pheromones...
π︎ 14
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︎ Mar 03 2017
The word "politics" is derived from the word 'poly', meaning "many", and the word 'ticks', meaning "blood sucking parasites". (Larry Hardiman)
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 14 2014
Some people think puns are derivative, my Aunt & I take them pretty series-ously
95% of conversations between me & my aunt turn into pun wars.
Enjoy!
https://i.imgur.com/aGooknb.jpg
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 30 2017
We were learning Derivatives in Calculus, and my teacher said...
"Don't drink and Derive."
(Obviously not my OC.)
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︎ Feb 14 2017
Direct from the mind of my 4yo: You know how statues are defective?
They have a giant crack in their butt.
Gotta say, while derivative, Iβm very proud!
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 20 2022
Booze and calculus donβt mix
π︎ 33
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︎ Jul 10 2022
You will fail your calculus exam if you sit next to identical twins.
Itβs hard to differentiate between them
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︎ May 09 2022
What do you get when you take the derivative of Amazon?
π︎ 62
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︎ Apr 27 2017
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