Do your worst!
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
Theyβre on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
Why
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
What species and type of Koi is Japan's national animal?
There's too much lost in translation, and at least one source saying it's bred from Cyprinus Carpio - which I doubt very much (does that even exist?). However, there are some old and obscure Koi breeds that involve cross-breeding C. rubrofuscus.
I suspect the species is C. rubrofuscus, and the type is either Kohaku or all types (meaning if your national animal was "dog" it wouldn't be a specific breed). But I don't know.
One or two citations would be appreciated.
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
I'm working in evolutive project that pass on teegarden c, and to start I selected 20 animals species, 10 vegetal genres, and 5 fungic families:
1 - Canis lupus familiares (var et al), C. l. dingo, C. l. lupus
2 - Felis silvestris catus (var et al)
3 - Bos taurus taurus (var et al), B. t. indicus (var et al)
4 - Sus scrofa domesticus (var et al), S. s. scrofa
5 - Capra aegagrus hircus
6 - Equus ferus caballus
7 - Gallus gallus domesticus
8 - Columba livia domestica (var et al)
9 - Petaurus breviceps
10 - Dasyurus geoffroii
11 - Procyon lotor
12 - Betta splendens
13 - Cyprinus rubrofuscus (var koi)
14 - Hirudo medicinalis
15 - Acheta domesticus
16 - Apis mellifera mellifera, A. m. caucasica, A. m. ligustica
17 - Brachypelma smithi
18 - Morelia spilota mcdowelli, M. s. metcalfei, M. s. cheynei
19 - Rana grylio
20 - Anas platyrhynchos domesticus
21 - Glycine max
22 - Helianthus annuus, H. tuberosus
23 - Daucus carota (var et al)
24 - Matricaria chamomilla
25 - Lactuca sativa (var et al)
26 - Malus domestica (var et al)
27 - Bambusa vulgaris
28 - Medicago sativa
29 - Pyropia yezoensis, P. tenera
30 - Juglans regia
31 - Agaricus bisporus, A. arvensis
32 - Calvatia gigantea
33 - Coprinus comatus
34 - Macrolepiota procera
35 - Penicillium griseofulvum, P. verrucosum, P. chrysogenum, P. nalgiovense, P. salamii, P. roqueforti
36 - Apergillus oryzae
37 - Oenococcus oeni
38 - Leuconostoc mesenteroides
39 - Saccharomyces cerevisiae
40 - Hericium erinaceus
I will add some more informations.
Before humans the planet was like an young earth, poor in oxigen, with liquid oceans of water, and an atmosphere compound mainly by carbonic gas and nitrogen. Humans had terraformed the planet with a collection of microorganisms to produce oxygen, control cycles of nitrogen, phosphorus, sulfur, and others, reduce salinity in the oceans, et cetera. They had landed and built a colony in a place called the promised land, a depression rich in poisonous gases like butane, methane and hydrogen sulfide, which were used to produce energy. The colonies had many farms were some animals managed to leave and started to spread.
Finally, human machines and robots worked for ten thousand years after humans died.
https://preview.redd.it/s92ek3bw3tu41.png?width=1500&format=png&auto=webp&s=305b532ade175bc1aded99801e1e1a9c56340aad
I was wondering if with that all organisms that I chose could manage to live.
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
βBOOMβ?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
free
Because his Visa didnβt work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
