Cummings Puns

A list of puns related to "Cummings"

"I'm cumming"

"Hi cumming, I'm dad"

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👤︎ u/BushcraftButItsPubes
📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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What’s Dominic Cummings’ favourite christmas song?

Driving home for christmas.

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👤︎ u/-guille-
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
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They had it cumming
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👤︎ u/genesiscreation7
📅︎ Jun 04 2019
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He saw it cumming
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👤︎ u/jaylenrich1
📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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The Shape of Water? What is this world cumming to?
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👤︎ u/dougrayd
📅︎ Mar 20 2018
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Didn't see that cumming!

I wanted to donate sperm in order to make some quick cash. I called the sperm bank to see when I can make an appointment. When I asked, the nurse told me, "sorry, it's first cum first serve"

Not sure if this joke was already made. I just CAME up with it while I was at work.

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👤︎ u/ng515
📅︎ Oct 14 2016
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A wet dream is actually a dream cum true
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👤︎ u/nervoussystem66
📅︎ Dec 10 2020
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What did the whaler say when he caught his wife cheating on him?

Thar she blows!

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👤︎ u/Burpmeister
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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What's six inches long, has a bald head and every woman loves?

A hundred dollar bill.

This is my dad's favorite joke.

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/DoctorModalus
📅︎ Aug 21 2020
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It really is though
👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/mr_chanandler_bong_1
📅︎ Jul 13 2020
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There were no mines in Soviet Russia

They were called ours

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/hessim20
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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Why do people call me Santa?

Cuz I get all the ho ho hos!

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👤︎ u/ApeGoOuoh
📅︎ Dec 11 2020
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If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
📅︎ Jun 29 2020
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My nickname in the adult film industry used to be Tri-Pod..

I was the best camera man they ever had.

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👤︎ u/BeastWhiteKid
📅︎ Sep 14 2020
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What did a man said. When he came out of a closet?

SUPPLIES

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👤︎ u/fiqabumm
📅︎ Oct 10 2020
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Cum..ulus cloud
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👤︎ u/TizzioCaio
📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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What kind of cheese will entice a bear out of a cave?

Camembert.

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👤︎ u/Gil-Gandel
📅︎ Oct 08 2020
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We're doing everything right, I don't understand why we can't make a baby.

It's inconceivable.

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👤︎ u/Persons1001
📅︎ Aug 02 2020
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What’s big, long and has cum in it?

Cucumber

...your sick!

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👤︎ u/Ithinkhisnameis
📅︎ Apr 23 2020
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Cum on man
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👤︎ u/RINKR
📅︎ Feb 20 2020
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A shower thaught
👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/CyrusDaSquid
📅︎ Jan 25 2019
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As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/ruchi565
📅︎ Oct 07 2019
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If you really think about it condoms are just sonblock.
👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/theKidWithCam
📅︎ Oct 21 2019
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What does the father whale say to his daughter after she thanks him for being such a good dad.

You're Whale cum

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👤︎ u/LemmeBuildThat
📅︎ Sep 11 2020
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Is it raining? gfycat.com/organiccandidd…
👍︎ 21k
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👤︎ u/whimsicalfinch
📅︎ Sep 25 2019
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What color is the wind?

Blew

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👤︎ u/sillusober
📅︎ Jul 02 2020
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What does a receptionist at a sperm bank say as the client is leaving?

Thanks for cuming and cum again.

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed
📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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Pun appreciation because the guy I’m seeing is too slow to get it

him: ugh I wish you could squirt

me: wtf I don’t call out all your flaws so don’t call out my short cummings

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👤︎ u/CallMeMissKeesha
📅︎ Jan 06 2020
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I got a 3.9 GPA at Trump University

in other words, I graduated MAGA cum laude

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👤︎ u/wxmatt
📅︎ Jul 25 2020
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Seal of disapproval
👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/heputmystuffinjello
📅︎ Feb 12 2019
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What does the sign say at the exit of the sperm bank?

"Thank you for cumming"

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👤︎ u/Thom581K
📅︎ Apr 07 2020
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How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?

Just ring up and say you can't cum!

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👤︎ u/ball5deeper
📅︎ Aug 21 2020
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I'm not circumcised as I cum from the hood
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👤︎ u/elephantbeepbeeps
📅︎ Sep 21 2018
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first post

Bukakke is 'cummunism'.
We all cum

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👤︎ u/vikramgirdhari
📅︎ Jun 22 2020
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What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/chall101
📅︎ Nov 22 2018
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If youre the sperm of a giant ocean animal and want to come to my party, you are whale-cum
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👤︎ u/_xXpewdiepieShrekXx_
📅︎ May 23 2019
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Winter has cum.
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👤︎ u/Ksloop
📅︎ Apr 13 2019
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You can't spell woman without man because man cums in woman.
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👤︎ u/shivaaam3
📅︎ May 13 2019
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My kid asked me, “Dad, what are condoms used for?”

I said, “Usually to avoid answering questions like these.”

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Mar 02 2019
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National Orgasm day is coming (July 31)

You should really try to get off that day if you can.

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👤︎ u/paddirn
📅︎ Jul 26 2019
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Mhm
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👤︎ u/MelonSupremacy
📅︎ Jul 11 2019
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"I'm Cumming"

"Hi Cumming I'm dad"

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👤︎ u/I-rape-loli-corpses
📅︎ Mar 05 2019
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A wet dream is a dream cum true.
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👤︎ u/hillenium
📅︎ Apr 29 2020
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