Cumming Puns

A list of puns related to "Cumming"

Her: OMG I'M CUMMING!?!?

Hi Cumming, I'm dad.

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👤︎ u/BaLsAmIc007
📅︎ May 16 2021
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What’s Dominic Cummings’ favourite christmas song?

Driving home for christmas.

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👤︎ u/-guille-
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
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They had it cumming
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👤︎ u/genesiscreation7
📅︎ Jun 04 2019
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He saw it cumming
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👤︎ u/jaylenrich1
📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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The Shape of Water? What is this world cumming to?
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👤︎ u/dougrayd
📅︎ Mar 20 2018
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Didn't see that cumming!

I wanted to donate sperm in order to make some quick cash. I called the sperm bank to see when I can make an appointment. When I asked, the nurse told me, "sorry, it's first cum first serve"

Not sure if this joke was already made. I just CAME up with it while I was at work.

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👤︎ u/ng515
📅︎ Oct 14 2016
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Shoutout to male pornstars

Those guys are always working hard

👍︎ 434
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👤︎ u/kinginthenorth1994
📅︎ Apr 28 2021
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Salad cream
👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/Anukrit_Subedi
📅︎ Apr 17 2021
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Gay jokes aren't even funny, like

Cum on guys

👍︎ 814
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👤︎ u/code_punk_
📅︎ Apr 15 2021
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My neighbor thinks I spy on her.

I would tell her otherwise, but she's in the shower right now.

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👤︎ u/XIIXOO
📅︎ May 03 2021
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Cum on the wall..

And call it walnut

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👤︎ u/Shreecasm
📅︎ Jan 14 2021
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I’ve developed a new AI

I’ve developed a new AI and taught it to identify any porno ever made just from the cum shot

I’ve called it facial recognition

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👤︎ u/Tony-2112
📅︎ May 05 2021
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why didn't hitlers girlfriend swallow?

she did nazi him cumming

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👤︎ u/Jjajangbokki
📅︎ Mar 05 2021
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What is written by the exit to the sperm bank?

Thanks for coming!

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👤︎ u/Negalugh
📅︎ Apr 07 2021
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A wet dream is actually a dream cum true
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👤︎ u/nervoussystem66
📅︎ Dec 10 2020
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What did the whaler say when he caught his wife cheating on him?

Thar she blows!

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👤︎ u/Burpmeister
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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What's six inches long, has a bald head and every woman loves?

A hundred dollar bill.

This is my dad's favorite joke.

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/DoctorModalus
📅︎ Aug 21 2020
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Do you know which Knight it was who came up with the Round Table?

Sir Cumference

(My dad's a math teacher)

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👤︎ u/hell-si
📅︎ Feb 13 2021
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It really is though
👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/mr_chanandler_bong_1
📅︎ Jul 13 2020
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How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank ?

Just phone them up and say, "I can't cum. "

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Mar 15 2021
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What did Cinderella say when she found out Prince Charming had erectile dysfunction?

Someday my prince will cum.

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👤︎ u/HoryShot
📅︎ Mar 28 2021
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There were no mines in Soviet Russia

They were called ours

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/hessim20
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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You'd be impressed with the display cabinet I have at home, full of saltwater and semen.

Cum and sea.

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👤︎ u/awesome_smokey
📅︎ Feb 15 2021
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What if you threw an orgy

and no one came?

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👤︎ u/nikded
📅︎ Jan 19 2021
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Having sex with a deaf person is like assassinating someone

They won't hear you cumming

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👤︎ u/qarasaq
📅︎ Jan 12 2021
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Moses had a little-known trick to making good coffee.

He brewed it.

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👤︎ u/kdlaz
📅︎ Feb 28 2021
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If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
📅︎ Jun 29 2020
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What is it called when....

What is it called when the Starbucks barista cums in your coffee?

>!A Fappucino!<

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👤︎ u/Jolterix_20
📅︎ Feb 10 2021
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Cum..ulus cloud
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👤︎ u/TizzioCaio
📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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My nickname in the adult film industry used to be Tri-Pod..

I was the best camera man they ever had.

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👤︎ u/BeastWhiteKid
📅︎ Sep 14 2020
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Why do people call me Santa?

Cuz I get all the ho ho hos!

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👤︎ u/ApeGoOuoh
📅︎ Dec 11 2020
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What did a man said. When he came out of a closet?

SUPPLIES

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👤︎ u/fiqabumm
📅︎ Oct 10 2020
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A shower thaught
👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/CyrusDaSquid
📅︎ Jan 25 2019
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We're doing everything right, I don't understand why we can't make a baby.

It's inconceivable.

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👤︎ u/Persons1001
📅︎ Aug 02 2020
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As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/ruchi565
📅︎ Oct 07 2019
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If you really think about it condoms are just sonblock.
👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/theKidWithCam
📅︎ Oct 21 2019
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Is it raining? gfycat.com/organiccandidd…
👍︎ 21k
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👤︎ u/whimsicalfinch
📅︎ Sep 25 2019
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Cum on man
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👤︎ u/RINKR
📅︎ Feb 20 2020
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What’s big, long and has cum in it?

Cucumber

...your sick!

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👤︎ u/Ithinkhisnameis
📅︎ Apr 23 2020
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What kind of cheese will entice a bear out of a cave?

Camembert.

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👤︎ u/Gil-Gandel
📅︎ Oct 08 2020
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Pun appreciation because the guy I’m seeing is too slow to get it

him: ugh I wish you could squirt

me: wtf I don’t call out all your flaws so don’t call out my short cummings

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👤︎ u/CallMeMissKeesha
📅︎ Jan 06 2020
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"I'm Cumming"

"Hi Cumming I'm dad"

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👤︎ u/I-rape-loli-corpses
📅︎ Mar 05 2019
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A wet dream is a dream cum true.
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👤︎ u/hillenium
📅︎ Apr 29 2020
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