Police Headquarters…..
A condescending con descending.
It eats, shoots and leaves.
The first time I saw this joke was in my 6th grade English exam lol
A condescending con descending
It’s my cake day, just wanted to share my favourite dad joke, which I probably saw here.
Apprehension apprehension apprehension.
They crack under pressure.
A felon
Iron man stops the criminals! Aluminum man just foils their plans.
I think the ones looking high may be on drugs.
Because they have con etiquette.
For a shrink, he's still at large.
Because then even the clocks would have their hands up.
Prism. But don't worry, it's always a light sentence.
Meowcatraz
Feel free to steal that one, I don't mind.
Behind bars.
By looking for the con trails.
My 7yr old told me this one a few days back
"Throw the book at 'im!"My daughter and I have been trading these. Here is our current list - would love to hear more!
- I lost my job at the chess factory. I couldn’t work knights.
- I lost my job at the bank. A lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
- I lost my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
- I lost my job at the calendar factory. I took too many days off.
- I lost my job as a maze designed. I got lost in my work.
- I lost my job as an electrician. I was shocked!
- I lost my job as a psychic. I didn’t see it coming!
- I lost my job at the funeral home. Apparently, the options are “cremation” or “burial,” not “smoking” or “non-smoking.”
- I lost my job as an astronomer. I thought my work was looking up!
- I lost my job as a cyber criminal. I couldn’t hack it.
- I lost my job as a human cannonball. I got fired!
- I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.
- I lost my job as a math teacher, same job I’ve had since 2000. That’s 46 years down the drain!
- I lost my job in pool maintenance. It was too draining.
- I lost my job as a fisherman. I didn’t make enough net income.
- I lost my job as a baker. I really kneaded the dough!
- I lost my job as a historian. There was no future in it.
- I lost my job as a tour guide in Australia. I did not have the right koalafications.
- I lost my job at the upholstery repair shop. I may never recover.
- I lost my job as a massage therapist. I rubbed people the wrong way.
- I lost my job as a seamstress. And I tried sew hard.
- I lost my job as a musician. I just wasn’t noteworthy.
- I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.
- I lost my job feeding giraffes. I just wasn’t up to it.
- I lost my job as a water slide attendant. My career is going down the tubes.
- I lost my job at the paper shredding factory. It was a tearable job.
- I lost my job as a drummer. I’m sure there will be repercussions.
- I lost my job as a pole vaulter. I'll never get over it.
- I lost my job as a pet groomer. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
- I lost my job as a pastry tester. That job was a piece of cake.
- I lost my job as a mirror inspector. I could see myself doing that for a long time.
- I lost my job as a yoga instructor. I bent over backwards for them.
- I lost my job at Dunkin. It’s ok, I was fed up wit
Police are on the lookout for 2 hardened criminals
Because they crack under pressure
One a rapist and one a conman. The mayor decides to have them punished for their crime in a way that reflects their crimes and also make some money for the city. He sets them in stocks and charges $2 to punch the conman in the face and $5 to kick the rapist in the balls. The line goes around the block all day.
By the end of the day the conman can barely be recognized. Someone pays $2 walks up and kicks him in the balls instead.
The mayor yells “Stop you can’t do that!” The guy asks “why not he’s still a criminal?”
The mayor says, “this is the punch line.”
He had gotten into some treble.
They're naturally underhanded
A hardened criminal
robber bullets
Ain’t no laws when you’ve got the claws!
Almond to you.
a hardened criminal.
His name didn't ring any Gö- bells.
Because they have got their mugshot.
You put them on a spice rack!
In other words, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
The cops are working tirelessly to catch him
I didn't know that was a requirement.
No, he's a man without convictions.
Police issue statement: be on the lookout for hardened criminals.
In the J'accuse-i.
It was a locomotive.
A condescending con descending
Iron man stops criminals. Aluminum man just foils their plans.
A condescending
Con descending
