Even crime has time for puns (credit to the author, extrafabulouscomics)
Merry Christmas everyone! (Repost from Facebook, Credits in the image)
Credit: instagram.com/etheriality
Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
When people tell me I'm good at the theremin, I have to give credit to my wife.
She also likes it when I don't touch her.
Credit to u/the_richard_cranium. In a sub called r/nononono where things that had the potential to go wrong do, a woman struggles to put out a match. She sets it on the table, defeated failing to do so, but she forgot to put it out before doing so.
Confused, another redditor asked “What kind of match was that?” Cranium replied “No match for her apparently”
What does a male sheep say when he wants to credit a female sheep?
Why smart people don't rock (Credit: how.how)
Ridiculously photogenic humans (Credit: how.how)
Trump's defeat is in his hands (Credit: how.how)
If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
Gravitational waves make a splash! (Credit: how.how)
Full credits to u/xibang.
Who does Orlando Bloom credit for all of his success?
No one, he’s an elf made man
Credit to doshizle for this
Why you can't read minds. (Credit: how.how)
loaf-i girl. (full credit to u/F-inthechatguy)
Credit to @comicsbyandy for this political cartoon that also has a pun
https://preview.redd.it/juu01g2we3s51.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=363c4e4cc3b0dd44ac8193dcdb74ee01bc854813
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper
And now I'm paying for it.
You have to give Trump credit.
Because he doesn’t have any cash.
I used to be scared of speed bumps.
I’m slowly getting over it
Why is hot Mexican food like a credit card?
You pay for it the next day.
Had to post this here. Credit goes to Fun-Education235
Caw Caw Credit - Pun Bible
Fun fact about potatoes!
Fun fact, if you take a potato, cut it in half, stick electrodes in each half and bring them close together but not quite touching, then you’ve made a capacitater!
credit(Indian Hills community)
My friend and I both wanted credit for a movie we made.
Why is it spelled "camouflage"...
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Toilets don’t get enough credit.
People say I plagiarized my jokes
What do you call a dad joke that isn't funny?
A dad joke.
(Credit: my daughter)
When does a joke become a "dad" joke?
When it becomes apparent.
Credit: My team scrum master.
What kind of nuts only accept credit card payments?
FIRST DATE: Her dad: "I want her home before midnight."
Me: "But you already own her home."
Dad: -turning to daughter- "If you don't sleep with him, I will."
Credit to u/psybermonkey15
(Credit to u/Anon8627) My mum said I'm terrible with directions
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
Just got a credit card bill with a camouflaged bull printed on it...!?
..It's the hidden charges you have to watch out for.
How do redditors make love?
How do you keep a bull from charging?
Take away its credit card.
Why is North Korea so evil?
Because they have no Seoul.
Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I can’t take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but I’m sure he’d be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter it’s brought.
Credit to u/CanadianGeeseScareMe
Newton’s cradle! (Credit to thejenkinscomic on Instagram)
How would Missy Elliott advertise her ice cream shop?
"Get yo' free cone 🎵"
(credit: guy at work told this one in a meeting)
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