Controlling Behavior Puns

I’m from India and moved abroad to stay away from emotionally manipulative parents. They aren’t horrible people but I can’t be in contact with them anymore.

I’m 25 years old gay (not out) but my parents want to know everything about my life.

I thought of telling my parents about my sexuality but I don’t think it will be any good. My sister also ran away and got married in court because of their behavior as they didn’t like the guy she met from her workplace.

I have realized I have a lot mental issues because of my childhood. My father was a domestic abuser towards my mother and it affected me in some way. My mother has been through a lot but her controlling behavior threw me off. I always have to give phone number of friends if I go on a trip or send location. She wants to know about everyone I’m hanging out with.

To be clear I have been a diligent student throughout my life, got a masters degree then job. I don’t know why they make me feel like I’m a thief or robber.

They make me video call everyday but I’m tired. They have no interest in my life but just in controlling me. I can’t buy things for myself like new phone or suitcase without them telling me it’s too much.

I have worked very hard for myself and now I look at myself I still look like poor boy from a small Indian town.

I have told them multiple times about their behavior and things they say are wrong. I just took 5 day trip in whole year and my father wouldn’t stop calling me even though I told him let me enjoy my trip. Last year I took trips with a guy I was dating, I didn’t wanna video call so my mother started crying.

I don’t know if I can have any successful relationships or friendship with being in contact with them.

I just feel they don’t respect my boundaries.

I’m a very lonely person in a foreign country. I have stopped contact with but I don’t know who can I talk to.

Hi,

This will be a long post, I already know what I want to do, but just asking for some judgement maybe...

I have a long history of posts accusing my girlfriend of being controlling or/and emotionally abusive,

I'm 26, she's 27.

But looking at her perspective I kinda get it... However it still doesn't really align with my world views, or I'm still unhappy...

We date for about 8-9 months, and it was a very difficult time... We also live together since day one and work together, basically always together.

To put it shortly some of her behaviors include

• Getting mad when I want to visit my family:
• Saying I need to grow up and build my own family
• Always rushing me to get back to her when I'm with my family

I kinda get why - she says we don't spend enough quality time together, which may be true. We live together, we do most things together, but quality time for her means doing something special... But there are just not enough things we can do, we live in a boring county with just one big city (where we live) - and outside of taking some special dinner there's not a lot to do. And she doesn't want to go to places, or to cinema, or anywhere due to covid. So that leaves us with very little options, just grab some food and eat it in a car somewhere with a nice view. But this got old quick.

She also says I have to grow out of my family, that I have to build my own family. Agree, but don't feel ready yet, and I truly enjoy helping my family as a way to thank them for everything.

We also traveled the whole country, but again, after this - not much we can do.

We both lack hobbies, or hobbies that we have are very individual and can't be done together.

• she's also mad when I want to see my friends.

My best friends left the country a couple of days ago, for 6 months, she didn't allow me to go out and say goodbye to them.

This got me extremely sad, a bit heartbroken, specially because we didn't had anything planned, and just spent the day at her parents house... and I kinda already decided on breaking up after this...

• she also constantly criticisez most of the things I do (laundry or things like this) I get it, she's obsessed with doing things the right way... But this makes me feel like walking on eggshells everytime I do anything.

• she also always says there's no romance or attraction... Again, could be true, but I'm trying my best with gifts... On the other hand it's difficult to be romantic when you're walking on eggshells.

And one more t

You're going to mess up. So instead of trying to be perfect, learn how to be accountable.

You're going to hurt people even when you have good intentions. So instead of trying to be perfect, learn how to apologize.

You're not going to know how to help everyone. So instead of trying to be perfect, learn how to ask and listen to what people need.

You're going to have bad days. So instead of trying to be perfect, learn how to help yourself on those bad days.

You're not going to love your body every day. So instead of trying to always love it, learn how to accept it.

People are not always going to know what you want. Instead of expecting them to, learn to set boundaries and communicate.

You are going to experience distressing emotions. Instead of trying to be positive all the time (bypassing), learn how to feel and manage them.

-Whitney Goodman, Instagram

Basic history: 16 years in, one kid, one house, one dog

Yesterday there was some talk about separating that he prompted.. his words were along the lines of giving me space to figure myself out while he continues to work on himself. He phrased this followed by "I just want you to be happy, if this will make you happy then I will do it".

Which is something that I think I want deep down but I am too terrified to let it happen. Why am I terrified though? I guess because I love him and value him and kicking him out of our house feels morally wrong. Plus half of me has no idea if this relationship can be salvaged but my main priority has been identifying abuse and then trying to cope through that and hopefully some day heal. So I am a little distracted from giving him affection and attention.. in fact I try to avoid his physical touch as much as possible. I am currently a walking contradiction with no idea what she really wants in life.

Last night he opened up, which is extremely rare. He says he is aware of what he is doing to me and who he has turned me into (a very fearful, anxious, and isolated person). He says he couldn't see it before but he sees what he does to me now. Then he begin discussing one of his previous relationships and how badly abusive it was.

But after 16 years of being together he is just now analyzing this stuff. I begged him for years to go to therapy and he refused. (he is now going, second week in) He has A LOT to sort out. At the same time I don't even feel comfortable talking on the phone with friends when he is home because I am used to there being stonewalling and gaslighting after I chat with friends. I also stopped trying to go out with friends.

I have this fear deep within my soul and I cannot control it. So no, I am sorry, I cannot help you figure out your past and why you abuse me.. I am sorry.

Hello,

3 days ago now my boyfriend and I had a major falling out that resulted in my breaking up with him.

Background on me: I am 25 and a reiki master, energy healer, etc. Very spiritual and I have a business that reflects spiritual healing. This is important for the story.

Background on my boyfriend: He is 27 and likes video games, works in the hemp industry, is similarly spiritual generally as the result of substances he used to utilize.

I live in a weird neighborhood, where weird things happen. After a full day of working from home, I left my room to discover a stop sign in the entryway of my home. I do stay with here with family. I texted my boyfriend about the stop sign and then noticed that outside there was copious amounts of smoke.

I went outside to figure out WTF was happening and texted my boyfriend that I was going to investigate and let him know what I discover. I ended up finding my mom, brother, and a man on a bicycle across the street from my house. I proceeded to question what happened and was provided 3 different versions based on 3 different perspectives.

My neighbor had blacked out at the wheel, hit a stop sign, and continued down the road before regaining consciousness outside of his house. I was floored by this information as it is crazy. There was also a fire across the street, which was apparently unrelated. The police did a report about the stop sign and such before they carried on for the evening.

The man on the bicycle had prior knowledge of my work and spirituality because of questions related he had been asking my mother before I found them.

So, after the telling of what happened to the neighbor this man on a bicycle asked me questions specifically pertaining to spirituality, energy healing, reiki, and being a psychic. I answered all of his questions to the best of my ability and asked him for his zodiac sign since these are things I work with in the healing and readings I provide. He shared his zodiac sign with me and he, my mom, and brother all said our goodbyes.

We then checked on my neighbor after the man on the bicycle left to ensure he was okay and figure out what happened because this behavior was very unlike him.

All of this took place in the span of maybe 45 minutes.

Once I finally returned inside, I called my boyfriend and began telling him the events that had just taken place. He cut me off after I mentioned the man on the bicycle. He accused me of flirting and cheating. I was not even able t

Hey y’all! I’m temporarily living with my younger brother until I can move into the house that I’ll be renting. Living with my brother has had its ups and downs. However here recently, my brother is beginning to be sorta controlling and micromanaging me.

For example, I hung out with my dad one evening and got back sort of late. I came home and made small talk with him and asked him what movie he was watching. He didn’t answer and asked me how many cigarettes and how much I had to drink. I asked him what movie he was watching again. He asked me again how many cigarettes I had and how much had to drink. I told him that dad doesn’t drink. He said that doesn’t mean I won’t.

None of his business what I do in my free time or what time I come home. How should I react towards him in the future? Or politely say fuck you? I feel bad/obligated to tell him since he was nice enough to let me move it. Any advice would be appreciated.

I find I can stay much more disciplined with certain things like diet and exercise when I am at home. If I go out somewhere or am doing something out of the norm however, I feel like a different person and am much more prone to influence/peer pressure.

Is this normal?

“You are entitled” “You failed” “You’re like an animal that sleeps too much” “If you respected me, you wouldn’t go that event”

How can statements like these be responded to using nonviolent communication that makes clear they’re never okay?

I have a script I'm working with that spits progress information out to the console while it runs. Sometimes it closes the console when it completes, and sometimes it leaves it open.

1. Is there some specific type of action that causes it to close or remain open when it finishes? The two versions have nearly identical code but behave differently
2. Is there a command I can use in my code to deliberately close the console, or deliberately leave it open?

.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half, live together, and plan to get engaged around our five-year mark. His mother lives several states away and doesn't come to visit often.

She came to visit us this weekend and the first moment we were alone, she began listing problems she has with him and told me that I'm part of the problem. She said I'm keeping him away from their "very close knit family unit" and that if my boyfriend decides I'm "good enough to live with" I have to make more time for them. When my boyfriend came back and asked what we were talking about, she told him "We're talking about how I'm the best in-law in the world, just kidding - we're talking about your grandparents."

The next day, I agreed to go to church with her. On the drive to church, she told me it breaks her heart that I wasn't raised religiously, that kids raised without religion turn out badly, that she'll raise hell if my boyfriend and I aren't married in a church by an ordained minister, that our kids have to be raised with a "strong foundation of God" and that I have to get used to being religious "if my boyfriend decides to stay with me." My boyfriend is not religious and agrees that we don't want religion in our wedding or our kids lives, but he hasn't told her that. I just nodded along to all this and told her "we'll see."

After the service, she and my boyfriend left to go visit his sister a few hours away. On their drive, she started texting me saying that she's really upset I didn't come with them - but her original plan was to stay with us through the next night, so I had made my schedule around that and when she last minute changed her plans it was too late for me to move meetings. At this point, I texted my boyfriend and told him I was going to respond asking her to stop being so passive with me, which he gave me the go-ahead on. Unsurprisingly, this didn't go well. She blew up on me and turned herself in a victim, saying this came out of nowhere and that she was crying and hurt, etc. etc. etc. My texts were very direct and as polite as I believe was possible - no naming calling, no shaming her, just directly stating things she had said to me that weekend and telling her I don't like being treated that way and don't like her speaking poorly about her son to me. I even told her I had a great time with her when my boyfriend was around and that I don't want to fight with her, I'd just appreciate if she stopped being passive aggressive when we'r

And I'm happy I've cut them out of my life, but sometimes, I find myself thinking about them. Specifically on how they've treated my husband and I.

They hate us, and really made sure we are aware of it. They call us every mean word they know. They tell us we abandoned them. They list every reason they can think of, to guilt-trip us, even so far to make up lies. And I'm just so tired of them all.

In the past, I've tried my best to tolerate it. And even though I wasn't particularly satisfied with how I've been treated, I've always tried to be the bigger person and let it go. But not this time.

I realized and I need to keep reminding myself that real family doesn't hurt you like this.

• They don't try to control everything about you.
• They don't throw tantrums and hurl mean words when they don't get what they want.
• They don't try to manipulate you and make you feel guilty for just trying to live your own life.
• They don't isolate you so you don't have anyone to rely on.
• They don't make false promises while they go back to their horrible behavior.
• They don't keep portraying you as the antagonist just because you disagree with them, or you're not on their side.
• They don't spread lies about you within the family so everyone can also hate us and send hateful messages to us too.
• They don't find ways to break us down, so we can never stand up for ourselves.

Real loving, supportive families don't expect you to be perfectly fine after enduring all of this, like as if everything can be swept under the rug and forgotten about.

I still have the scars from all those horrible things and I don't forget them. Words hurt. And it's really hard to forgive them about it when they don't even acknowledge and apologize for them because they're just so stubborn and "high up in their chair."

Why do I have to be the bigger person and accept all their selfish ways? I know they wouldn't do the same for me. That's why they keep trying to change me and yell at me until I bend to their will.

Fuck that. I don't want to be part of their family. Just so I can be a doormat? Just so I can live with this torture. And for what? Just to keep us this image of having a family?

No. It's all superficial. They don't even care about me, and I don't think they ever would. They can say those empty promises, but their real behavior doesn't change and I'm the one who has to suffer through this.

It's funny now, because my MIL just found out she has cancer and expects us

Abuser- "There's not gonna be no women in there doing it for him, are they? Cuz if that's the case..."

Victim- visibly paniced, and nervous reassures his abuser no one will be in the room.

Abuser- "Isn't that not normal. He's young he should be having wet dreams all the time don't you think?"

Victim- embarrassed and humiliated while his abuser is discussing his sexual past of self gratification inappropriately with the Dr. while hysterically laughing the whole time.

Abuser- "aren't you excited? You get to masturbate!"

Victim- desperately asking and telling his abuser to stop.

Abuser- "I wanna see that room. There better be nobody in there." -"Is there porno in there, Michael."

Victim- nervously showing his abuser the examination room, and the empty collection cup.

Abuser- (in her cringing hysterical laugh) yells, "bye Mr. Masturbate!"

Can you imagine if the tables were turned and a man was speaking and acting this way towards a women?! Abuse towards men has always been minimized and Angela's behavior sheds light on how real this problem is. How much longer is TLC going to stand by and enable Angela's abusive acts? How much longer are we as a society going to stay silent and cringe the whole way through, or fast forward Michael and Angela's segments because their scenes are "annoying."

Through out this whole session the segments with Angela and watching her toxic and disgusting behavior towards Michael has been undeniably disturbing. This is NOT right!!

Hi, for some background information, I am 19 and live on my own. I pay my rent from student loans in my name, I pay for my phone on the phone bill, and they pay for my car that was a "gift"

So, I've been on my own for almost a year in a half. I don't party, I don't go out much, and I work a 50 hour weeks to support myself. To treat myself to a job promotion, I decided to buy myself a new phone. My old phone was a iPhone, which had "find my friends", and my new phone is an android, where tracking isn't as easy.

When I lived with my mom all through high-school, she would track my phone to make sure I was going where I said I was. This was very frustrating because my mom has called me a bunch of names and we have a strained relationship as is. Because of this, I moved out. When I moved out, I told myself that I would turn off my GPS, but when I did, it caused a fight and she threatened to take away my car and called me a "ungrateful bitch", and then took my stimulus checks from me later down the road.

Upon getting my new phone, my stepmother looked at my mother and said "we won't be able to use find my friends anymors", and my mother started freaking out and having a panic attack. She kept trying to get me to change my mind on not getting a new phone, and told me I would understand when I have kids (bonus, I just got told I am infertile and will not be having kids). She also told me i was out of control, and that I was crazy and that I was hiding something. This isn't the case. At all. At this point, I was very frustrated and told her that I am a legal adult, and that it is very overbearing to act like that and that my friends parents don't track their phones.

She flipped her shit and called me ungrateful, an asshole, and accused me of doing something I don't want her to know about. Once again. I live on my own. I just don't want to be questioned anymore about what time I'm going to be home, or what time I'm going to be somewhere. I have found its toxic and gives me anxiety attacks.

So reddit, AITA for calling her overbearing? I've been trying to work on independency with my mother lately, but i might have been too rough.

So, I have been single for quite some time, the majority of my twenties. I'm not one to commit to a relationship unless I am absolutely sure about the guy. I am also very much a feminist and believe strongly in a woman's rights to her own body, be that to have an abortion or wear whatever tf she pleases.

Recently I have started dating someone, someone I've been friends with for years and things are going great. We stay at each other's places most of the time, talk about the future, and align very closely in our beliefs, he being even more liberal than me on most issues.

But the one thing that we keep butting heads on things pertains to what I should and should not be wearing. Specifically in regards to a bachelorette party I am attending over Halloween. I read him texts from the group chat regarding doing "single ladies shit" and he cannot let that go, convinced it means I will be all over other guys while there. He also has scrutinized outfits I have considered for my costume and the idea of my wearing a thong bathing suit on a private yacht with the members of the party.

He keeps saying things like "I don't want others to see parts of you that are just for me. If you wear that, then what is left just for me?" I reply with "all of me, me in your bed each night" but that never seems to be good enough. I stress that this is a very special occasion and that I would not normally wear these kinds of things; but regardless I do not feel he should have such control over what I am choosing to wear. He then responds with "Let's just see who else dresses like this and if they're in a committed relationship too!"

So I am here to ask: is this normal behavior? Have I just been out of the relationship game this long and not used to having to consider another one's opinion?

EDIT: THANK YOU ALL! These responses are exactly what I expected and wanted to hear. I have let him know that this is not behavior I will ever be okay with, we've talked a lot and are now on the same page. I knew I could count on you all (and was mostly sure I wasn't crazy, or that out of touch ;p)

I feel that since you're hopeless about the situation you don't know what to do so you try to control other things in your life. Probably more so on a sub conscious level. You're just more snappy and irritable over certain things. Its amazing how out of control you can feel over hair loss. Just wondering if others go through this or know what I'm talkinh about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuQHSKLXu2c&t=19m11s

I feel like the drug use and success was starting to turn Juice into a different person tbh.. Ally basically describes her 3 pregnancies as being things Juice told her to do, and that "this is happening". She also said he didn't let her drink coffee or take any stimulants, lots of stuff. she really was always around him and most times not allowed to leave. literally when describing how they met, she says "he did not let me leave" at 23:25 (Link to interview) , and that she left her entire old life behind, not letting her keep her old clothes or anything. coupled with his song lyrics and themes especially tracks like Fine China or Make-Believe, it kinda makes it seem like the obsessive partner thing wasn't something he did for his music it was just who he is / was. I love juice but we gotta admit that if somebody we knew personally was in this relationship it would raise a lot of red flags. especially with the amount of money he had / his lifestyle it can create an environment where the woman can't leave.

One of the top requests for advice on the relationships sub is this guy who admits very plainly to everyone, "My wife agreed to something for 20 years and she has no intention of following through on her agreement." Everyone's siding with his wife.

White women do this shit all. The. Fucking. Time. They lie, and then they deflect, and they are willing to do that shit for 20 years if it means they get what they want. They try to control everything around them with the least resistance possible, and they actually feel like they are entitled to do that. They actually BELIEVE that they know best and that they are allowed to make decisions for everybody.

White feminists get so annoyed with us because they're like, "Why don't you guys get on white men like this?" Because white men STAY AWAY FROM US. They are similarly controlling and entitled, and we experience that at work and on the street, sure, but then we fucking part ways. They don't act like assholes and insist we see them as little angels. They're just assholes and then they move on.

White women INSIST on sticking around. They insist on being in our proximity and pretending to care about us, meanwhile they do underhanded controlling shit because they truly believe that everyone else is an extension of themselves and not individuals with our own autonomy. They insist on treating us badly then lingering so they don't have to feel bad about what they've done. They stick around and they do insidious shit like lie about their intentions for 20 fucking years. He asked his wife if he followed through on the thing they agreed on, FOR 20 YEARS, would she leave him?

She didn't answer. :|

If I had a nickle for every time a white woman gave no answer as a (non)response, I'd have reparations.

White women are completely unaccountable. Unempathetic, discompassionate. To their fucking HUSBANDS of 20 years!!! Just completely. How fucking hard is it to be like, "I'm thinking about that actually," or "Yes, I definitely will"? I bet if they divorce she'll try to go after everything he's got, too. Because of "everything she went through."

Meanwhile if she weren't controlling as fuck she wouldn't have gone through it at all.

I hate how they get away with so much toxicity, I hate that they single-handedly create problems for us and then blame us for it. I wonder if she's even admitting to herself that she put her OWN self in this position.

Was This Behavior Towards Me(24M) From a Former Friend(42F) Normal or Manipulative and Controlling?

So, I've been looking back on the patterns of behaviors I noticed from my former friend. She used to say she was my mentor and liked to mentored me with life advice and guidance. I broke things off with her two months ago because I felt like she was invalidating me as a person many times.

Now for the lists of behaviors:

• Whenever we get into a disagreement or argument, it would always lead to me caving in and siding with her. Then, she would say she healed me and/or she would say she's glad I'm back on the right path.
• When I first met her, I affirmed my own beliefs, but she said she believed in Astrology. She said she could tell A LOT about me based on just my astrology sign alone.
• I broke things off with her two months ago, and although in my mind it was a graceful parting of ways because things didn't work out, she seems to hold resentment towards me. It's almost as if she viewed me as rejecting her when I left, and reported me to my supervisors and her supervisors just because I said hello and wishing her well/welcoming her back at work since she was remote working
• She doesn't understand why a lot of her direct colleagues dislike her even though she's a kind person who do good deeds.
• She said her 20s were her being a narcissist due to childhood trauma, but she's changed now that she's older.
• She has openly said that she is never wrong when it comes to relationships or friendships.
• At work, she wants her co-workers to do things her way, and when I ask "Why? If the results are the same, why does it matter if they do it their way or your way?", she said "Wouldn't you want to do it my way if it's better?"
• She tries to change other people to think the way she thinks or see things the way she sees. From me, her neighbors, and even her colleagues.

Are these behaviors normal at all, or are they very controlling and manipulative? I always thought she was "mentoring" me, but the more I looked back on these patterns of behaviors, I don't think it was mentoring. I believe when I gave my statement on leaving under her mentoring, she didn't take it to well and internalized it as me rejecting her. For me, it was a peaceful parting, but she was uncomfortable enough to report me at work just because I was being courteous by saying hi and wishing her well.

TLDR - Former friend/mentor gave me the wrong vibes, so I left and they're still angry at me b

I missed a lot of the red flags in my relationship because I thought my LVM was a "nice guy." Before we moved in together, things were fine. After, not so much. He pulled his weight around the apartment (cooking/cleaning), but he was VERY controlling about how the apartment ran:

-He started standing over my shoulder as I did chores around the house, telling me I was doing things wrong & had to do them his way (he'd watch as I did dishes, making sure I put the right amount of soap in the water)

-He criticized me if I didn't complete tasks exactly to his standards

-He got angry if I forgot to do small tasks like make the bed one day or put a dryer sheet in the laundry

-He began using off-hand insults to make me feel dirty/useless (ex: "No trouble you mopped today, because I can see the streaks on the floor.")

-If he forgot to complete a household chore, it was acceptable; if I forgot to do so, I was lazy/ good-for-nothing

-He gaslighted me when I called him out for his disrespect. He said he wasn't asking much of me & I needed to stop being so sensitive.

-He'd blame damage that was done to the apartment before we moved in on me. If anything went wrong in the apartment, it was because of me.

Some things he'd complain about:

-If I didn't take laundry out of the dryer to fold immediately

-If I forgot to turn the fan on during a shower

-If I boiled the kettle more than once for tea (cuz I was "wasting electricity")

-If I put his t-shirts on his hangers the "wrong way"

-If I forgot to turn off the heater before leaving the house

-If I left streaks in the tub after washing it

-If I stored items in our storage space for too long

-If I got the stove dirty when cooking

-If I had the heater on in more than 1 room...in the dead of winter (in Canada).

To clarify, this man does NOT have OCD. He's ok with things being out of order, as long as I didn't make them out of order. His standards do not apply to him.

It took me a long time to realize that he was being controlling, because it wasn't "typical" controlling behavior, like controlling where I go/who I see.

Does anyone have any similar experiences?

This is a repost. The original post is by /u/ThrowRAjai0509355.

This is gonna sound like typical insecure girlfriend but I promise its not like that.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 months and he's really great. He has a friend that he's had for years who is a girl. Normally, I'm not the type to be all like "you're not allowed to hang out with a single girl alone". But I'm considering telling my boyfriend that he's not allowed to hang out with this girl alone. This girl is obviously so into him and she def wants me to know she's coming for him. She keeps saying stuff like "You don't know him like I do yet", "We used to go to that place together all the time long before you guys started dating", "Oh my god josh remember when we went on a hike just the two of us, that was the best day". She also had cute pet names for him but I didn't like that so as soon as I heard it I told my boyfriend I didn't like it and he made her stop.

I asked her straight up if she's into him and her response pissed me off so much. She was like " I know its intimidating how close he and I are but don't worry you're the girlfriend I'm just a friend right?" with a smug smile on her face. I got so mad but I couldn't talk to my boyfriend about it.

I want to tell him to cut her out of his life so bad but I don't know if I can do that. My boyfriend's dad passed away two years ago with a heart condition. He told me that his dad was his bestfriend growing up so it hit him really hard. He was the only family my boyfriend had. Apparently, this girl really helped him get through it. She apparently was there for him throughout the whole thing. That's why he says she's like a sister to him. That's why I don't know what to do. I already asked him to set some boundaries like she can't text late at night or come over to his place unannounced all the time and no interrupting our alone time.

My boyfriend doesn't realize that she's into him and I kinda don't blame him on that one because all of her flirts are subtle enough that he doesn't realize but enough to get me riled up. I know my boyfriend isn't into her at all and he's completely friend zoned her but its still so frustrating. I hate to admit it but she's so good at getting under my skin and I don't know what to do. I really need some advice. Thanks Reddit.

EDIT: Thanks to everyone for the advice. I've decided that I w

I was just listening to a show where people come on and talk about about their problems called Hello Counselor.

A sister who was only 22 wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend because her older brother didn’t approve of it. He would call her everyday, go through her phone, and look at her bank account. She’s only had one boyfriend which lasted two months. When she was younger, she couldn’t have any sleepovers.

And his reason was that she was too weak and couldn’t get over situations without crying, so he needs to keep in her business until she’s strong enough.

All this really triggered me because these were nearly the same restrictions placed on me by my parents. And I’m 19 without ever dating nor had a sleepover. And I’m shamed for keeping my door closed.

The comments angered me because they said ‘he helped fund her business and took care of her after their parents divorced, so he loves her but they both need to understand. She’s a grown woman so it’s not that hard to stand up for herself.’

Bullshit.

These people clearly never understood how it felt like to be so socially restricted, where all your friends were scrutinized. Where they still insist on having a tracker on your phone even at 18. And they lack the empathy to even try to understand.

Hi. I’m starting therapy for myself in a couple of weeks, but I am so nervous about this problem I’m having, I was curious as if there are any tools to help me in the meantime. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything beyond a very, very mild form of Asperger’s.

My boyfriend (M20) and I (M22) have been together for about two years. We’re long distance, and of course because of the pandemic we’ve never met in person.

So, here’s the deal. I truly want my boyfriend to be able to do things on his own accord. I know he has to like, ask my “permission” for stuff because I have gotten down from him not spending all his time with me. I know that’s wrong, as selfish as I want to be, I am completely in understanding of why that’s unrealistic and literally abusive-controlling. I’m trying my best to change that.

In the past few months, I’ve been encouraging him to go and do stuff with friends, and to not let me keep him chained up to only me. Since we share the same friend group online, a lot of the times we end up together over voice calls anyways. Of course, sometimes I prefer to opt out of whatever game the group is playing and work on whatever I have to do on my own without distractions.

During these times specifically, there's a gut reaction in me that makes me stop whatever I’m doing to ask for his attention. It’s strange- I’m not entirely sure what I want beyond him to pay attention to me 100%. My thought process goes down the drain at this point, becoming irrational, like…almost to the point of scheming what the best way to get his attention, while communicating through subtext he should shift all his focus to me, no matter what. I know deep down that’s wrong, but I still do it anyways, and it ends up hurting him with passive-aggressive comments. I’ve never really gotten angry at him, only frustrated, but this is typically how it coalesces. I don’t think I could, even in these situations, blow a gasket and yell at him or like type in all caps or whatever.

This has just, started to happen a few times every 2-3 weeks nearly without fail. I seriously don’t understand what this is. Is there something else I’m not understanding? I want this behavior to go away so badly. I feel terrible because of it- knowing what I did, doing it consciously. We’ve talked about it many times, and recently he does feel that slow creeping feeling of being too exhausted from this to continue the relationship.

I think the worst part is that this has happened in another relationship

Abuser- "There's not gonna be no women in there doing it for him, are they? Cuz if that's the case..."

Victim- visibly paniced, and nervous reassures his abuser no one will be in the room.

Abuser- "Isn't that not normal. He's young he should be having wet dreams all the time don't you think?"

Victim- embarrassed and humiliated while his abuser is discussing is sexual past of self gratification inappropriately with the Dr. while hysterically laughing the whole time.

Abuser- "aren't you excited? You get to masturbate!"

Victim- desperately asking and telling his abuser to stop.

Abuser- "I wanna see that room. There better be nobody in there." -"Is there porno in there, Michael."

Victim- nervously showing his abuser the examination room, and the empty collection cup.

Abuser- (in her cringing hysterical laugh) yells, "bye Mr. Masturbate!"

Can you imagine if the tables were turned and a man was speaking and acting this way towards a woman?! Abuse towards men has always been minimized and Angela's behavior sheds light on how real this problem is. How much longer is TLC going to stand by and enable Angela's abusive acts? How much longer are we as a society going to stay silent and cringe the whole way through, or fast forward Michael and Angela's segments because their scenes are "annoying."

Through out this whole session the segments with Angela and watching her toxic and disgusting behavior towards Michael has been undeniably disturbing. This is NOT right!!