They twerk from home.
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
"It’s cutting hedge technology!"
After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"
The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
One boy said to another: "What? the fork in hell?"
You know, to make light of the situation the worlds in right now.
What we have, here, is a failure to excommunicate.
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
"Nope, they were cooked in Greece!"
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
But Maury Povich determined that I am not the father.
He picked up the hammer and saw.
(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)
I was hungry. So I Czeched the fridge. 🇨🇿 Nothing was there, so I was Russian over to the nearest restaurant. 🇷🇺 I grabbed some Turkey, but it was layered in Greece. I Haiti ting food that isn’t Swedened. 🇹🇳🇬🇷🇸🇪 I felt like I could Italy food in my house. 🇮🇹
It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
I guess that explains why all these old folks are so salty.
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡Apparently, there was no point to continue drawing the picture
I said “I was just trying to make a point”.
A bus full of housewifes going on a picnic, suddenly fell into a river... they all tragically died.
Each husband cried for a week straight, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.
When asked why he missed his wife so much, he replied miserably: “My wife missed the bus!!!”
It was very long period.
Still No Idea
Emmamentary Mydear Watson!
everything is still up in the air.
It's very influenzial on the worldwide market.
As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y
So he asked his father for water. The father replied, "Can't you see I'm busy, get it yourself". The child continued to ask his father for water. The father shouted, " If you don't keep quite, I'll come and whip your ass". The child said, " Please bring a cup of water on your way here".
IF
He couldn’t see that well
And will continue until they lower the price.
Dear Lord as week seek to produce puns worthy of your praise, lettuce relish this opportunity. We ask that you would cause humor to sprout in the hearts of those who think us nuts. Continue to cultivate in us passion, fruit which beets back sadness and joy which leeks into others. Though some may say we are corny we know you will give us sage wisdom. Give us the confidence to know we are kale’in it as we bring choy to the world and live apply ever after.
The street performer notices the four men are very far to the back and cannot see, so he stands on a box and continues his performance while asking, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."
Friend: I had a dream about a dragon last night. Its name was Fire Fawcett.
Me: It's too bad its name wasn't Uther, since it was a PUNdragon.
Friend: ...
Me: *bows*
I've got some really big shoes to fill!
but you guys didn't like it.
Though I guess that's just a generalization.
...because vampires don’t reflect.
It really needed a copy break.
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
