Consumptive Puns

After a test for my blood type came back as Cabern-A positive.

I went to bed 7 times last night

It is presented, of course, as a log log log.

Me: It’s okay. I can come back when you are sober.

I was raised lactose intolerant.

... fully lawful to feel awful after getting full off all that falafel.

It's called "The Whey of the Dinosaur."

It should come as no surprise that Jesus enjoyed his alcohol. It would be hard to imagine someone that can turn water into wine not having a problem. One day, Peter decided to say something.

"Jesus, we will follow you anywhere, but we are starting to get concerned about your alcohol consumption"

"Really? I don't see an issue, I rarely have any alcohol", He replied.

"Jesus, you are drinking right now" said Peter, pointing at the bottle in his hand.

Jesus looked at the bottle. "This? It is water, the color of the bottle just makes it look like wine"

But Peter knew better, and no matter how much Jesus tried to explain that it was just the look of the bottle, Peter knew that Jesus' argument did not hold water.

Whenever I see something with an expiration date that has a ridiculous time a lotted for consumption I will say... For instance today is august 16,2013 If i buy cereal today that expires on november 2015 I will say "we have to hurry up and eat this by november 2015!" Hahaha...crickets

Was at dinner with my SO's parents tonight when the subject of exotic animal meat for consumption came up.

SO: I was hoping I could try Zebra while I was overseas last year but never got the chance.

SO's dad: yeah, I bet Zebra is chockfull of white meat, dark meat, white meat, dark meat, white meat....

Man: No worries. I’ll come back when you are sober.