My girlfriend got mad at me for making constant puns and then said she wouldn’t talk to me if I made another one

I said β€œI guess I’m being PUNished”

It’s been a week and she still won’t talk to me. Was it worth it? Yes.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spezza_125
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2019
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A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner youtube.com/watch?v=Dgc6R…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bleedingrobot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2019
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Full of constant puns, tomfoolery and an extreme amount of cross-contamination; this video has it all. You may even learn to cook too! Wok With Yan youtube.com/watch?v=PTjwT…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SilkKringle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2019
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A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bleedingrobot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2018
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My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

Wife: "Whatever means necessary,"

Me: "No it doesn't”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2020
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I went on a gluten free diet because I was experiencing constant headaches.

And it actually worked. Clearly my-grains were the issue here.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yubisaki_Milk_Tea
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2020
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I didn't want to observe the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter again, but did so to stop my girlfriend's constant nagging...

I re-Lent-ed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2020
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My boyfriend is getting tired of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked him how I could stop my addiction.

He said "Whatever means necessary." I answered "No it doesn't."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/municipalplant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2018
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My friend keeps pressuring me into going spelunking with him. Well, after weeks and months of constant persuasion...

...I finally caved.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnthonyDuricko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2019
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So, I went to my doctor today due to a constant headache. He told me I should drink more scrumpy to numb it and I asked "Wouldn't that just make me drunk?"

He told me "Oh, that's just a cider-effect".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2019
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My wife and I were watching women's tennis, and she told me how annoyed she gets with this constant grunting noises.

I said, β€œFine. I’ll stop making them.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2019
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You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the merry-go-round!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2019
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The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/svk7sarthak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2019
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I threw a boomerang six years ago now I live in constant fear.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lordoflememes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2019
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What do you call a train with constant mood swings?

the bipolar express

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BakexCake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2019
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My wife loves tennis, and she was telling me how distracted she gets at the constant grunting during women’s matches.

I told her I’ll try not doing it again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2018
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I went to the doctor about my constant, terrible, but silent farts...

The doctor said that he should check my hearing first

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HookDragger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2019
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Insomnia is a constant battle...

I will not sleep until I find a cure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Saladbbar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2018
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Someone at work complained about my constant wordplay ...

... now I'm being pun-ished

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NetScr1be
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2018
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My doctor said my constant diarrhea was a problem caused by genetics.

It runs in my genes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2018
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Dad jokes are a constant battle...

My husband to me after putting our 3 year old down for bedtime:

"Oh, crap. I need to go get the monitor..."

pauses in the doorway

"You go get the Merrimac."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Grumpstick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2018
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How do I deal with my zoologist dad's constant jokes?

I grin and bear it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pharoah103090
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2016
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My coworker complained about the near constant overcast the last few days...

I told him to get used to the new stratus quo.

No reaction.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the1nonlyevilelmo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2016
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My dad's a constant dadjoker, but I don't usually have photographic proof. Here's his take on crab feeds.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Beatrixie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2014
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Boyfriend is a constant dad joker

Today he was playing with one of his parents dogs and looking at the two tumors that she has (they are benign). He said, "one more and she'll have a three-mor!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Puffalump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2013
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When the councilor asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage, she said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns...

I look at therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2018
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My daughter is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes...

I asked her, "What can I do to stop my addiction?"

She said, "Whatever means necessary."

I said, "No it doesn't."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2017
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