Coffee Pot Puns

Her: "Good, I'm really tired of the current situation."

... I laughed so hard. She didn't get it.

It was mugged.

You could say it lost its temper.

https://i.imgur.com/dZ3XXOP.jpg

Dad: Did you wash it (the coffee pot)?
Mom: Well, yeah...
Dad: But, a washed pot never boils!

God damn it, Dad.

It was brewtal.

They don’t talk about “Brew Now.”

So far I’ve got:

Sandwich co (you can’t beat our meat) IT company (if you’ve got a Trojan we can help) Laundry service (dont press your luck) Organic shop (all we do is pot, and pull hoes) or (getting down and dirty with your hoes) Pet groomers (send your dog to pound town) Transport and travel [by plane] (we’ll get you high) Financial planner (saving lives, with your life savings) Bakery (fresh perky muffins in the front, soft buns in the back) Coffee shop (Mugging you at every corner)

Still looking for raunchy puns and double entendres for:

A Podcast/ music studio A Personal chef A Tour and travel agency A Health care company A Record studio A Game developer A Copyrighting co A Tailor A Garage/bike repair company A Clothing/hat maker A Personal trainer A Truck sharing (moving co) An Architecture bureau or real estate co An Illustrator A Pest control company A Wedding planner A Fishing and charter tour company A Liquor store

Help me out.

I poked my head in his room, and he was blathering about how he wanted to quit school and be a truck driver.

"I'm gonna get one of those big beautiful Peterbuilts, with all the running lights everywhere. Or maybe a Mack with an extended cab..."

"Better brew him a pot of coffee," I told his mother. "The final is in a half hour, and he's only semi-conscious."

After the checkup, my doctor recommended I up my coffee intake to two pots a day, eat more saturated fats, and start smoking.

I'm beginning to suspect he knows about me and his wife.

So I was pouring a cup of coffee when the lip of the cup caught on the spout of the coffee pot causing some hot coffee to splash on my hand, instinctively I yanked my hand away like a scalded cat.

Customer: "oh my God, are you ok?!”

Me: "Yeah, it's fine. It's only a..Light Roast."

as COFFEE POT.

Coffee used to be made in a coffee pot. Now, everyone uses a drip coffee maker, but they still call the container a pot. It doesn't get put on a fire to make the coffee perk, so it isn't a coffee pot. It is a carafe.

You have a carafe of coffee. You pour the coffee out of the carafe into a cup. It is now decarafinated coffee.

I am a dad, and I approve this message!

"Where's all the coffee?"

Coffee pot replies, "We were mugged."

Because it got mugged.

Coffee pot: I was mugged!