A European woman told me how tall she was in cm. I asked what that was in Imperial units

She said she can't do that "foreign height".

I told her, "No, that's for temperature. Tall is feet and inches!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Apparently, there are plenty of jokes with maths abbreviations.

Well, I don't cm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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I had my leg X-rayed today.

The doctor told me: "Your patella measures 2.54 cm." By surprise, I said: "Inch high knees?" The doctor replied: "δ½ ηš„ι«•ιͺ¨ε°Ίε―Έη‚Ί2.54厘米"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minch2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
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Why can't your nose be 12 inches?

Because then it would be a foot!

(Credit - The Last of Us)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InvertedBear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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A Coffee joke book written by my actual Dad!

Proudly I bring you my Dad’s first joke book! He’s a dad and he compiled all of these hilarious jokes about coffee(possibly the best drink known to man)!

Here’s a few from the book;

-Coffee doesn’t ask me stupid questions... be more like coffee

-Don’t try to please everyone... remember you are NOT Coffee

-My morning coffee gives me the strength to make it to my mid-morning coffee

The Coffee Joke Book

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nichetcher
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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Why did the applicant mail a ruler to the company a week before the interview?

He was trying to get 30.48 cm in the door.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugbrain_04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
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Dad joke my teacher told us students.

Student: how long is the test?

My Teacher: about 28 cm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IbraheemLinkin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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A Celebration of Dad Jokes

this isn't strictly a dad joke, but our local NPR affiliate in Philadelphia had a celebration of dad jokes today, and I figured you gents might be interested. They do give credit to reddit for the rise of dadjokes.

A Celebration of Dad Jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cschrader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2015
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I got my son good today

I made some individual sized Apple pies today and offered one to my son.

Son: No thanks, I'm not a big apple pie fan.

Me: Well, these are small apple pies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peeweejd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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Dad jokes are Stephen Colbert's...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thornbrambles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2016
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Dad joked the copy machine repairman at work..

Copy machine repairman walked into work and here's how it went down.

CM Repairman:I'm here to fix the copy machine

Me:Copy that good buddy!

He groaned

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fullinception
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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Vegetables

Sorry if format error. Am on mobile. Just wanted to share my favorite dad joke from my childhood. I think it was my dad's favorite joke to tell too. "There was a carrot walking along the road when he got hit by a car. He was rushed to the carrot hospital and looked at by the carrot doctors. When his carrot mom came to visit the doctor told her he had some good news and some bad news. >cm: What is the news carrot doctor? >cd: Well, the good news is he is alive. The bad news is he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorlele
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
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