Cms Puns

She said she can't do that "foreign height".

I told her, "No, that's for temperature. Tall is feet and inches!"

Well, I don't cm.

The doctor told me: "Your patella measures 2.54 cm." By surprise, I said: "Inch high knees?" The doctor replied: "你的髕骨尺寸為2.54厘米"

Because then it would be a foot!

(Credit - The Last of Us)

Proudly I bring you my Dad’s first joke book! He’s a dad and he compiled all of these hilarious jokes about coffee(possibly the best drink known to man)!

Here’s a few from the book;

-Coffee doesn’t ask me stupid questions... be more like coffee

-Don’t try to please everyone... remember you are NOT Coffee

-My morning coffee gives me the strength to make it to my mid-morning coffee

The Coffee Joke Book

He was trying to get 30.48 cm in the door.

Student: how long is the test?

My Teacher: about 28 cm.

this isn't strictly a dad joke, but our local NPR affiliate in Philadelphia had a celebration of dad jokes today, and I figured you gents might be interested. They do give credit to reddit for the rise of dadjokes.

A Celebration of Dad Jokes

I made some individual sized Apple pies today and offered one to my son.

Son: No thanks, I'm not a big apple pie fan.

Me: Well, these are small apple pies.

... bread and butter.

Copy machine repairman walked into work and here's how it went down.

CM Repairman:I'm here to fix the copy machine

Me:Copy that good buddy!

He groaned

Sorry if format error. Am on mobile. Just wanted to share my favorite dad joke from my childhood. I think it was my dad's favorite joke to tell too. "There was a carrot walking along the road when he got hit by a car. He was rushed to the carrot hospital and looked at by the carrot doctors. When his carrot mom came to visit the doctor told her he had some good news and some bad news. >cm: What is the news carrot doctor? >cd: Well, the good news is he is alive. The bad news is he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.