Wife: It's amazing how those woodpeckers can just cling to the tree like that.

Me: Yeah they must be very talonted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TLo137
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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I wrote a essay on cling wrap.

I wanted to have an air-tight argument

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizardofwordplay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2016
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Made this one up in collaboration with my daughter and we’re kinda proud: Which knight is the protector of foods?

Sir Anwrap

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/man_without_wax
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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I've started writing songs about my attachment issues.

I'm calling it Cling Rap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FBI_Official_Acct
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Biology Dad Joke

My Bio professor was teaching us how to press plants for our field journals. He kicked off the lecture with:

"Well, let's get down to the pressing business, shall we?"

Out of a room of twenty people, one person laughed. That person was me.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnorexicBuddha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2014
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Kevin Hart is like a Limpet,

He’s constantly clinging to The Rock.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/David1393
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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What do the star ship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both look for "cling ons" around "Uranus"

πŸ‘︎ 668
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamesBlitz00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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A guy walks into a psychologists office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap...

The psychologist says β€œI can clearly see your nuts”

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjwolf24
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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I don’t really have a preference when it comes to rappers

So cling film will do

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus in search of cling-ons.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErnieDouglas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
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Every time as a kid when I would pull out fresh laundry from the dryer..

You know how those clothes are from Star Trek? (without waiting for a response or to even take a breath) Because they're Cling-on's! (klingons). laughs at own joke and walks away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharra_Blackfire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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Pre-dad joke

Just happened. My wife and I were contemplating childbirth, and I acted out my part of it by clinging to her upper half and saying "I'm staying on this side - or maybe I'll look into the Eye of Vagauron (a poor wordplay on Eye of Sauron).

Wife: -silence-

Me: that was a stretch but I'm sticking to it

And that's when she bursts out laughing and I accidentally a pre-dad joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phatskat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
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Whenever I needed a hand.

It started when I was about five or six. I was climbing a tree that was too much for me and I slipped, clinging to a branch.

"Help!" "Do you need a hand?" "Yes!"

At which point he started clapping and laughing like he was the cleverest person who ever lived. That became his go-to joke if anyone needed a hand with anything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalebD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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Every time my dad walked into the living room while we were watching Star Trek: The Next Generation.

"Are they going to... cling on?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ianhan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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