Classic Car Puns

We all know the classic:

My dog's got no nose.

How does he smell?

Terrible.

But there are so many possible variations, so rarely explored!

My dog's got no eyes.

How does he look?

Terrible

My dog's got no tongue.

How does he taste?

Terrible

My dog's got no nervous system.

How does he feel?

Terrible

My dog's got no car.

How does he drive?

Terrible

My dog's got no sense of humour.

How does he joke?

Terrible

...your turn...

My girlfriend and I were in the car today and were discussing peanut butter in shakes. I said that I didn't like the concept, and she replied that she's a big fan. So I grabbed her hand and began fanning myself with it. I was met with the classic sigh and eye roll combo.

This morning my friend and I were exchanging conversation about what our dad's usually do to prank us on April 1st. My dad always calls and says he was in a horrible car accident and broke a limb. It's never funny, but he laughs and laughs so I go with it. My friends Dad however is a classic Dad-joke type of Dad. This year, my friend tells me: >Friend: My dad said Mr. Lion called for me

>Me: Mr. Lion eh?

>Friend: Yea he gave me a number to call, but I haven't called it yet.

>Me: I'll call!

I get the number from him, and the automated message service for the San Diego Zoo clicks on. It's pun-tastic, a fun, and non aggravating April Fools joke.

In the car my dad and I were listening to a classic rock station, and he asked me to guess who was playing on the station, I said I don't know, and he replied "Guess Who?" I took this as an invitation to guess, but I really had no clue. This continued for a good 20 minutes before he finally got tired of it and told me the band was The Guess Who.

So of course I try to call him Pops as much as possible. I come home last night and he is waiting on the porch with arms crossed and a disgruntled look on his face. As I exit the car I yell, "Hey there Pops!" And in classic dad fashion he responds by saying, "I oughta pops you one in the nose."

In the car, I tried to get my 7yr old with the classic "Matterdeer" joke, and it went like this.

Me: Hey son, what's the difference between a matterdeer and a matador?

Son: They sound similar, but they're spelled differently.

Tim Horton's should play music by The Who and The Guess Who. Whenever someone is asked "Guess Who is playing this music" or "Who is playing this music", especially to younger people that don't listen to classic rock, they might not know. You can tell them, in a real coy (not Real McCoy) manner, that it is what Horton hears in the Dr. Seuss books. If they guess correctly, they could win a prize. If not, tell them either to really "Guess Who is playing this music" or "Who is playing this music", and see if they catch on.

*The idea for this is from listening to all the times my dad would make us Guess Who was playing the song in the car or he would say Who is playing this song right now and we would guess incorrectly until we caught on. It's a long running dad joke, so you better catch it before it takes off.

He'd always recite the classic:

One bright day in the middle of the night/ Two dead boys got up to fight/ Back to back, they faced each other/ Threw their swords and shot each other/ The deaf policeman heard this noise/ Came and shot those two dead boys/ If you don't believe this lie is true/ Ask the blind man, he saw it too!

Not so much a joke but he always got a kick out of it and you knew it was coming in any car ride lasting longer than an hour.