Childhood Disintegrative Disorder Puns

I cannot seem to find any information regarding this online. Thank you!

I continue to see posts regarding behavioral and cognitive regression in persons with DS. i just wanted to post this article about the emerging concept of DSDD in persons with DS with the hopes that it can possibly explain what is going on in loved ones (and improve access to care/treatment). I am happy faciltate connection with the lead researcher on the topic if desired.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32471843/

[They] attempt to adapt by projecting a superior persona.

But they are always seeking the validation they did not receive at crucial developmental stages. Their incomplete sense of being compels them to seek identity and self-worth externally, either by aligning with high-status people/things or by devaluing and dissociating from those who either threaten their false persona or who somehow in their eyes lower their status.

The narcissist continuously orchestrates the "reality" around themselves by enlisting others in supporting their delusions of grandeur and punishing and/or rejecting them if they do not comply.

To the narcissist, their spouse questioning an opinion she or he has declared as patented truth or their child not making the soccer team are potential humiliations, to which they may react with scorn or rage.

Enablers enable the narcissist by directly or indirectly being complicit in the narcissist's distorted reality and abusive behavior to protect their false face.

-excerpted and adapted from article

Do any of you think, looking back at childhood photos/videos, that something was clearly wrong with you? My dad recently found an old list of family CDs and there were some videos of me talking and playing around and something hit hard home. I was like I clearly had issues how did someone not see this, then my mom said "you were a weird child weren't you" im like yes mom maybe thats why I went psychotic later in life. A lot of research in schizophrenia shows that the disorder could be from misfolding of the brain from age three or so, just wondering if any of you had similar reactions to seeing your old videos?

Im curious if anyone has learned why the cdc calls adhd a childhood disorder. On their website it says “ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders of childhood. It is usually first diagnosed in childhood and often lasts into adulthood.”

Being diagnosed at 31, this just makes me feel...unsettled I guess? And how it says it “often” lasts into adulthood. Does that mean sometimes it doesn’t?? How could that be?

I tend to hyper fixate on certain words and over analyze their meaning. So maybe this is one of those moments...

Through out my whole childhood, I have had a lot of psychological assements done on me. I was diagnosed with a serve receptive language delay, moderate expressive language delay, and PDD. I've always had a lot of trouble learning in school and was held back. I even went to a special needs school when I was young for kingergaten for a whole year. I have some autisic traits such as ......

• I hate loud sounds, bright lights in rooms and lots of loud noises going all at once (lots a stimulation going all at once is very overwhelming for me)
• I usually have a special routine I like to make for myself. However if there's change in routine, it freaks me out when there is a sudden change in plans and it ruins my whole routine and gives me anxiety.
• I had a lot of trouble reading and socializing when I was young ( It took me till I was around 6 or something to read)
• I have really bad learning diffaculty still till this day, good news is that I got my high school diploma when I was 23 years old <3 But it still makes me sad that it takes me a very long time just to understand something. It also makes me even sadder when I have a teacher repeat certain instructions in different ways and I STILL don't get it :(
• I don't like making much eye contact , idk why. To me it feels very weird and kind of intimate in a way?
• I used to be a super picky eater when I was young, and didn't like some of the food tecture which bothered me a lot. I don't have that issue anymore today thankfully.
• I have very strong hobbies like I love to draw a lot and collect a bunch of stuff like plushies, figures and just a bunch of other things.
• When I was young, I had a very hard time making friends because of my diagnosis. It took me till grade 3 to make an actual real friend. I still till this day find it a bit hard to make friends in a way :/
• The other one is a big part, but I have never fit in anywhere my whole life. I've always been the weird kid at school, and even till this day i'm still called weird by a lot of people. Even when I was young, I would like like I was an alien lol I still feel that way sadly .-.

Now that I'm 25 years old, I wanted to learn more about what pervasive developmental disorder is, and become more accepting of it. I even had a doctor from a couple of years ago saying I have some autistic traits. However, when I searched it up online, I saw that it wasn't used as a diagnoses anymore? Because of this, I feel very confuesed and idk what to do. I

**Male/28/Diagnosed with Schizophrenia at age 24 **

I was always a highly intelligent kid but I struggled socially & preferred to be alone most of the time. I had a vivid imagination so even when I was alone I never really felt like I was & I would spend hours playing in these elaborate fantasy worlds inside my head & I had a whole range of imaginary friends throughout my childhood & my teenage years.

(Age 4) My first memory of something out-of-the-ordinary happening was when I was age 4 & it was night time & I followed a black dog through my house & into the kitchen before witnessing the dog evaporate into thin air. My family was awake and all the doors were locked so a dog couldn't get in or out & nobody else seen it.

When I was age 4 I also remember having out of body experiences when I lay down to go to sleep. It happened so often that when I got into my bed I would lie really still to try and make it happen. If I lay there long enough & stared at the ceiling I would eventually feel myself rotating/spinning in the bed & then rising up out of my body towards the ceiling & then continuing to rotate/spin around. I later learned that this practice is called astral projection & I have managed to do this numerous times as an adult.

(Age 7) When I was age 7 I started to worry that other people could read my thoughts. I also worried that God was aware of every bad thought I had which caused me to become obsessed with only having good thoughts. I started to feel what I can only describe as this existential dread & I worried that I was the only real person that existed & that my conscious experience was somehow superior or more real than others.

(Age 8) When I was age 8 years old I became preoccupied with ghosts. I would constantly feel a presence behind me which caused me to look over my shoulder all the time. But sometimes the presence would put so much fear into my that I would be too scared to look & I would feel my body freeze. I became fixated on the idea that ghosts were everywhere and we could feel them but not see them & this obsession lasted roughly a year before I moved on from it.

(Age 10) When I was age 10 I was gifted a book called Power Animals which was all about shamanism & meeting your animal spirit guide. I started exploring all things spirituality at this time & would read all about things such as indigo children, spirit guides, the spirit world

I remember reading this book around year 4/3rd grade around 2011. It was probably aimed at teenagers. Details I remember are the main character is in highschool and sleeps in his parent's basement. He meets a friend he had as a child, they used to play a game of kicking the other kids at kindergarten. The friend has a disorder that makes him very short and gets the main character to carry him around on his shoulders. One of them might have been called Maxwell but that could be wrong. The climax of the book is the friend going into hospital for some sort of operation, the main character tries to get in to see him but is sent away. The friend dies at the end.

Long story short, when I was 6 years old, there was a lot of domestic abuse, my memories of it are patchy. Because of that I began to have mental breakdowns and this was around the time of the vaccine-autism hysteria. My mother took me to dozens of doctors who said I'm not autistic and she fished around for anyone to confirm her view and eventually did. I was too young to speak up, but she told the doctor things that weren't true.

She tried to convince me that I had no empathy (I can't watch the news because it upsets me so much) and no social skills (I talked two friends out of suicide ffs), telling me to grow up when I cried when my friend died in an accident. She forced me to mix with autistic kids which was hell because I couldn't relate to them, and they ended up becoming my enemies. I could tell she viewed me as some kind of stupid, emotionless husk and when I couldn't take it anymore and got pissed it was just my ''autism acting up''. When I was bed bound because of a TBI I was just being ''lazy''.

My mother would parade around my 'autism' EVERYWHERE and I mean EVERYWHERE. I ordered pizza and my mom answered the door. I was right there. She pointed to me, shook her head and said, ''that's my daughter. Autistic''. And she does this with literally every single person she meets.

I ended up seeing a psychiatrist who said my symptoms are very consistent with BPD, but not very consistent with autism. I have no mental impairments. She told me that BPD is often seen in people who have suffered or witnessed abuse. It's also much more common in people with EDS, which I have. She also said me speaking very early (10 months) is not something that's seen in autism, where speech is delayed.

Wondering if anyone here went through something similar?

Why can’t I catch a fucking break? Food is my addiction, whether it’s restricting or indulging. Why can’t I just eat like a normal person? During 90% of the day, I’m good! I eat consciously and purposefully. But, after midnight, it just hits me. It’s this terrible urge and I become like a drug addict searching for a fix. It feels like I can’t stop it. I had a month or two where I was doing good, but alas, here I am again. I’m just miserable and losing hope. I hate my body, I hate myself and the worst part about it, is this isn’t my fault. I was bullied for my weight, so I restricted heavily from 13-24. Then, I kinda just ate like a normal person. But later I was diagnosed bipolar. I soothed myself with food. Eventually I got med which cause insatiable munchies, which has exacerbated my condition. I can fight the urge, but once the meds hit, it’s over.

I keep telling myself “just hop in bed once you take the meds, if you’re not by the kitchen, you’ll be too sedated to go downstairs!” but I don’t. Because deep down, I just want to binge. I’m just fucking sick of it.

I've long thought I might be on the spectrum, and my therapist agrees I have several Aspergers traits. But she says it's more likely due to attachment disorder from childhood abuse and neglect.

Her reasoning is that I don't seem to be especially rigid or needing routines. But she also acknowledges she can't say for sure because we've only done video appointments.

Has anyone else encountered something like this? What finally led to your diagnosis (or not)?

Edit: Thanks for all the thoughtful and insightful replies. What an amazing community you are!

I also want to add that I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, so that no doubt affects how ASD shows up for me (if I have it).