D cells, D cells...
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomgreen99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My cell phone got drunk.

It took too many screenshots.

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister, the biologist, was studying cell division when she dropped her microscope on my toe.

Mitosis!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkrjoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar and alarm clock....

Don't let it replace your family.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a small cell phone?

A microphone

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theodore3216
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cell phone have to wear glasses?

Because it lost its contacts

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cell say to the other cell who stepped on its foot?

Ouch, mitosis!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KhalCottonCandy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A rich man who got sent to jail decided to pay to upgrade his prison cell.

He is now behind gold bars.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
*Sad Red Blood Cell Noises*
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ananay83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
β€ͺHow do you make your cell phone smarter? ‬ β€ͺ

Turn up the brightness. ‬

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I use my cell phone as an alarm clock.

I call it Veriz'n shine..

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chowderneck
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My cell signal always drops when I work the front desk at work and I can't get calls.

Bad reception.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/melmia88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The real reason new cell phones break easy is because of gravity.

No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leebo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Science has found that honeybee venom helps kill aggressive breast cancer cells.

They've updated their name reflecting their new job to Boobees.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rahulabon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.

I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."

She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trich101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the cell say to his sister when she steps on his toe?

Oh my toe sis!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Son:What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?

Dad:Their effort goes in vein.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboi_akshat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call taking a picture of your own cells under a microscope?

a Cell-fie

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waterburst789
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Cell phone
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanaelmaalm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a microscopic dead end street?

Molecule-de-sac

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheesecakeMMXX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Cell Phone Box
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omgitsmint
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do plants propagate so easily? Because they have a lot of stem cells.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SanjisHere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I'll try to cell this one too you...

What did the cell say to it's sibling when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OffDutyTaoist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What cell service provider do track stars use?

Sprint

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/funnydeadpool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the name of the largest cell service provider for alien life forms?

ET&T

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youwantfuckame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Do they use cell phones in prison?
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hesso921
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the cell phone provider's baby's first word ?

DA TA

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the first African cell phone user say to other African cell phone user?

Kenya here me now?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
In cells
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoonicide
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Cells
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Criminal justice has progressed

When a thief is caught today, it’s not like the olden days. Now, you get a mugshot and housed in a jail cell. Then, they were just drawn and quartered.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and my ex cell mates talk all the time.

We like to talk about spreadsheets.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InkJetPrinters
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you determine the sex of a cell?

You pull down it's genes

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t_brad32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Ever wondered what to say to your sister when she’s crying ?

β€œAre you having a crisis ?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What's made of cells but not alive?

A spreadsheet.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wecsam
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.

I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Get it it’s because it’s a Cell wall
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/V10LIFESMATTER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can't you choose Latin as your default cell phone language?

Because the Roman charges are too much!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did a fertilized egg cell say before leaving?

Zygote go.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaze_no_saga
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
They call it a CELL phone for a reason...
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manxperson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of rebranding my company as Gametes

I've heard sex cells.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NehEma
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How come cell phones don’t wear glasses?

Because they have contacts.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Two cells were talking about cell division.

Cell A: I don't know what it does.

Cell B: That makes two of us.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Valph_V_Valdymort
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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