My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
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︎ Dec 03 2020
How can you get drunk using your cell phone?
Take a lot of screen shots!
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︎ Jan 26 2021
I have designed a way to combine cell phone and moving stair technologies. Want to know what itβs called?
Tellulater.
I had to pull of the road to post this cause Iβve been laughing at myself for the last 5 miles.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar and alarm clock....
Don't let it replace your family.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
What do you call a small cell phone?
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Why did the cell phone have to wear glasses?
Because it lost its contacts
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︎ Oct 02 2020
βͺHow do you make your cell phone smarter? β¬ βͺ
Turn up the brightness. β¬
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︎ Oct 03 2020
I use my cell phone as an alarm clock.
I call it Veriz'n shine..
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︎ Oct 02 2020
The real reason new cell phones break easy is because of gravity.
No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Cell phone
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︎ Sep 12 2019
My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.
I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."
She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Cell Phone Box
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︎ May 07 2020
Do they use cell phones in prison?
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︎ Jan 15 2020
What was the cell phone provider's baby's first word ?
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︎ May 16 2020
What did the first African cell phone user say to other African cell phone user?
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︎ Apr 27 2020
How come cell phones donβt wear glasses?
Because they have contacts.
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︎ Dec 01 2019
Why can't you choose Latin as your default cell phone language?
Because the Roman charges are too much!
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︎ Nov 20 2019
They call it a CELL phone for a reason...
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︎ Sep 15 2019
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They werenβt on the port side of the ship.
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︎ Nov 12 2019
What do you call a fake cell phone?
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︎ Aug 09 2019
Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked?
No shirt, no shoes, no service.
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︎ Jan 07 2017
New Cell Phone Store
A new cell phone store just opened in an abandoned car dealership building.
Now the sign out front reads Nokia.
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︎ Aug 03 2018
If your cell phone's battery is dead, throw it into a cow pasture
This is helpful because the bull charges.
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︎ Jul 02 2018
Why donβt cell phones work in a cemetery?
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︎ Jan 31 2019
I wish the Master Sword could be used as a cell phone for Link.
At least there'd be a one-time only Fi...
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︎ Jan 07 2019
I opened my cell phone to see the battery
And the battery was the mitophonedria
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︎ Mar 07 2019
My cell phone provider announced that they were going to provide me with unlimited data, then they texted me this...
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︎ Aug 03 2017
Was asked by sister to call her cell phone so she could find it. I decided it was dad joke time instead.
So my sister asked me to call her cell phone, so i of coarse said "here cell phone here come out cell phone". She then yelled at me and said "nooooooo use your cell phone to call mine", i said "yes of coarse how silly of me". I then went to get my cell phone, i then made a recording of my self calling for her cell phone, i proceeded to go back to her and play it. My sister was not amused and i laughed to hard.
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︎ Jul 05 2016
Why was Spartacus' cell phone bill so high?
Because he was always Roman.
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︎ Sep 15 2017
My friend simultaneously gave up coffee and finally bought a cell phone yesterday
He decided to switch to tea/mobile.
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︎ Aug 15 2018
What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock?
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︎ Feb 16 2015
Two cell phones got married
The ceremony wasn't that great but the reception was excellent.
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︎ Jul 03 2017
I just put my cell phone on airplane mode
Biggest disappointment of my life. It didn't fly anywhere.
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︎ Sep 11 2016
Why did no one enjoy the cell phone's wedding?
The reception was terrible.
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︎ Jul 24 2017
You can't use cell phones on airplanes
But you're so close to the cloud.
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︎ Dec 17 2017
Me: Which is the Empire's preferred cell phone carrier?
Leia: I don't kn-
Me: AT&AT
Leia: ...
@DadJokeDarth
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︎ Feb 06 2018
Dad's care about safety! Don't drive on your cell phone
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︎ Sep 22 2017
How did cell phones change the world?
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︎ Jun 16 2017
I have decided that I am going to invent a steam-powered cell phone.
That way, when someone asks me to send a picture, I can tell them that I can't because I have low selfie steam.
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︎ Oct 12 2015
This is how my dad answers his cell phone whenever I call...
"Myrtle's Girdle Shop. Stretchy speaking!"
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︎ Oct 24 2013
I saw one of those selfie cell phone holders the other day and thought that it should be called:
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︎ Sep 01 2014
Be careful when reading the Bible on your cell phone.
You don't want to have to pay Roman charges. It could lead to some bad Acts.
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︎ Feb 04 2016
Cell phone ring tones
So we are sitting at the dinner table and a phone makes a noise in the background.
My mom says "was that me?! And my dad responds "I dunno! I've never heard you make that noise before!"
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︎ Sep 02 2013
Everytime someone else's cell phone rings near me...
Me: "Tell them I'm not here."
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︎ Aug 09 2015
cell phone
chit chatting with co workers. one of them is getting a new cell phone and asked for suggestions. i told him to get a 4G cell phone because its for G's.
some of them don't understand hood speak and didn't get it, but i achieved a few groans.
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︎ Sep 26 2014
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