Carbonates Puns

A list of puns related to "Carbonates"

How do you know that carbon molecules are liars?

Because they make up everything

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👤︎ u/JacobWesleyMartin
📅︎ Jul 14 2022
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I dream of swimming in a fruit-flavored carbonated beverage

It's probably a Fanta sea though.

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👤︎ u/kevin-milner-music
📅︎ May 01 2022
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i heard you can get carbon and iron half off if you buy them as an alloy

what a steel

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👤︎ u/that_one_shark
📅︎ May 28 2022
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the world is made up of 70% water but its not carbonated...

So the earth is flat....

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👤︎ u/Maleficent-Movie-122
📅︎ Apr 20 2022
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Two Carbon atoms are sitting next to each other at the bar

One looks at the other and say "I think I just lost an electron!!" The other says "Are you sure??!!" Atom looks back and says "Yup, I'm positive"

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👤︎ u/Freeheel4life
📅︎ Mar 31 2022
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The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated.

Proving the earth is flat.

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👤︎ u/garyfire
📅︎ Jan 06 2022
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Carbon atoms worried too much and transformed into diamonds

It was under alot of pressure

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👤︎ u/kneecaps1984
📅︎ Apr 30 2022
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I don't have a problem if you're trans. I don't have a problem if you're fat.

But if you're a trans fat, I'm going to avoid you.

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👤︎ u/EmpireStrikes1st
📅︎ May 12 2022
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A man recently died when a periodic table display fell on him...

The official cause of death was "Exposure to the Elements".

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👤︎ u/shercroft
📅︎ Jul 09 2022
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What's the best place to go for your daily serving of potassium, fluorine, and carbon?

KFC

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👤︎ u/ITypeWithMyNose
📅︎ Apr 20 2022
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Just picked up a tonne of carbon and iron for five bucks

Steel!

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👤︎ u/Dragon_M4st3r
📅︎ Apr 21 2022
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My kid just came up to me and asked if the Earth was flat. I told him no, but he shook his head.

“Dad, the Earth is 71 percent water, and nearly all of it is uncarbonated.”

(He really made this up. ONE OF US)

An edit for the doubters: He was drinking a Fanta and we were watching Prehistoric Planet together when he thought up the basic idea. I helped him with the punchline, because he was having trouble making it land (he’s 11, and more mechanically-minded than artsy, if you know what I mean, so he needed help on the phrasing).

It’s not a super complicated joke, so of course it’s not new, but hey, he’s 11. Good job, kid.

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👤︎ u/Skurttish
📅︎ Jun 11 2022
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why do archaeologists keep telling me I can date carbon?

she isn’t returning any of my calls :(

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👤︎ u/jadeandobsidian
📅︎ Apr 03 2022
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This afternoon my son told me that Ducati is selling carbon-fiber racing boots.

I told him that if he bought me some I could lower my carbon footprint.

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👤︎ u/seattledandy
📅︎ Mar 02 2022
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I don't have a carbon footprint.

I just drive everywhere.

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👤︎ u/Lava_Wolf_68
📅︎ Mar 05 2022
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My wife said she wanted a new diamond so I gave her a stone.

I hold her if she holds on to it as hard as she does the past, she would have one.

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👤︎ u/MostDownVotesPlz
📅︎ May 23 2022
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Why did the carbon atoms on the boat throw up?

They got a little C6 [cee-six, sea sick]

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👤︎ u/puddle_unhinged
📅︎ Feb 19 2022
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I don't know what carbon dating is...

But, I'll try anything at this point.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 11 2022
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Dating between carbon descendants
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👤︎ u/dattara
📅︎ Dec 14 2020
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Carbon dating
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👤︎ u/spaceinvadersalien
📅︎ Sep 29 2021
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Did you hear about the new Carbon dating app?

It's called Timber.

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👤︎ u/mynoduesp
📅︎ Nov 19 2021
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I work long boring hours in a carbonated soft drinks factory.

It's Soda pressing.

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👤︎ u/berkleysquare
📅︎ Jan 15 2022
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In love with Carbon
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👤︎ u/LazyYoda
📅︎ Sep 09 2020
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I liked Carbon…

Before she was Coal

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👤︎ u/Oogway-The-Immortal
📅︎ Oct 25 2021
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What do you call a doctor who only prescribes carbonated beverages?

A Fizzy-ologist

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👤︎ u/dotkodi
📅︎ Jul 10 2021
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I was gonna tell a joke about sodium, but

Na…

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👤︎ u/JBaczuk
📅︎ Apr 04 2022
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Here’s how I know the Earth is flat: 71% of the Earth’s surface is water…

And none of it is carbonated.

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👤︎ u/Ok_Present_6508
📅︎ Apr 06 2022
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Looking for electricity pun/punch line ideas

I'm writing an article about lithium-ion battery energy storage systems (ESS). The article talks highly of ESSs and the positive impact this technology will have in transitioning our energy grid to net neutral carbon emissions.

The last sentence of the article is currently "in short, the future for how we build cities is charged with potential."

Anyone have a better pun/punch line idea for this sentence?

Not sure if this is appropriate for this sub but if not, let me know if there's anywhere I can post this. Thanks a lot :)

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👤︎ u/TakExplores
📅︎ Apr 29 2022
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Why do archaeologists get all the girls?

Because they have the best dating techniques

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👤︎ u/crazyfortaco
📅︎ Nov 28 2021
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Maybe carbon doesn't want to be a diamond

it's just pressured into it

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👤︎ u/yoddleforavalanche
📅︎ Feb 08 2021
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I heard there was quarrel between Carbon alloys

I bet it was graphite.

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👤︎ u/cbsxact7
📅︎ Feb 05 2021
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I’m in favor of three-carbon alkanes.

I’m pro-pane!

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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses
📅︎ May 03 2021
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I stopped walking on coal to limit my carbon footprint
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👤︎ u/Dutch_Midget
📅︎ Nov 01 2020
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A tree’s wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen

You can call it a chemis-tree

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👤︎ u/Wergio256
📅︎ Dec 12 2020
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What does a constipated android eat?

Carbon fiber.

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👤︎ u/Mr_A_Rye
📅︎ Apr 30 2022
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The Carbon Monoxide detector went of last night,

Can't say I remember why though.

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👤︎ u/Depressed_Lasagna420
📅︎ Nov 30 2020
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Why did the moron run coal on his feet?

He wanted to see what his carbon footprint looked like

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👤︎ u/Pookells
📅︎ Apr 26 2022
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What do you call a feline paralyzed from drinking carbonated water?

Catatonic

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👤︎ u/bodaciousblonde124
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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iron told carbon a joke so funny...

that he decided to steel it

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👤︎ u/tac_force_knife
📅︎ Feb 23 2020
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The surface of the earth is 70 percent water. None of it carbonated.

Proving the earth is flat.

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👤︎ u/stevekimes
📅︎ Jan 09 2022
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The earth is approximately 70% water and it isn't carbonated

So technically, the earth is flat.

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👤︎ u/amydaynow
📅︎ Nov 22 2021
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The Earth is made up of 70% water and it’s uncarbonated..

So it’s technically flat.

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👤︎ u/l0st_cause
📅︎ Apr 08 2022
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The earth is 70% water and uncarbonated.

Which technically makes the earth flat.

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👤︎ u/YellowSalmonberry
📅︎ Apr 25 2022
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Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for just one alloy.

What a steel!

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👤︎ u/Odinnextgen
📅︎ Dec 01 2021
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Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just one alloy?

What a steel

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👤︎ u/Baumichkeit
📅︎ Oct 10 2021
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70% of the Earth is covered in water.

It’s not carbonated.

Therefore, the earth is flat.

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👤︎ u/BryanP1968
📅︎ Mar 03 2022
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The Earth is flat

Over 70% of its surface is water, and none of it is carbonated.

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👤︎ u/BlueMageTheWizard
📅︎ Feb 08 2022
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