Avoid marathons where Julius or Little participate. It's dangerous to run with Caesars.
I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.
They absolutely killed it.
Fun fact: Julius Caesar never told his men "Good job".
This is likely because he couldn't speak English.
Why did Julius Caesar, after having an epileptic fit, during the time he was a hostage of pirates, immediately need a dictionary?
As Caesar's seizure ceased at sea, he said "I'm sleepy" and grabbed some zzz's.
I was angry when Julius Caesar was killed
I was absolutely 50 1 5 1 500
Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
Brutus: Dude how many Caesar's salads did you eat?
Julius: <Burps> Ate 2 Brute
Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don't know is that he wasn't stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad - hence the name "Caesar's Salad." When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:
What did Julius Caesar say when he went to Starbucks?
A sperm donor, Carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar
... He came, he saw, he conquered
Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?
Did you see that post about Caesar's salad?
It’s a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.
Also known as a Julius Seizure.
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.
Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."
(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)
How do you make a Caesar salad?
You take a regular salad and stab it 27 times
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers
And says "Give me five beers".
What do you get when you cross Trump and Caesar?
Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,
“Dad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
Couch for sale. Fit for a caesar.
In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him
So I came, I sawed, I coloured
When your friend Caesar tells you a good joke
Did you know Caesar had a ranch on the thousand islands in north America?
I don't know why he called it a ranch they only grew lettuce.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
A bowl of knives is a caesar salad
Julius Caesar was stabbed several times by his own congress
Making him, contrary to popular belief, the first holey Roman emperor
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
I can't believe Julius Caesar invaded France
Like honestly, he had the Gaul to do that? Wow
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at the Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
What did the Caesar say to the Senate?
There was a Cajun Chef named Julius Caesar
who said to his Sous Chef, “Etouffée Brute?”
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
What did Little Caesar say right before he was punched?
The Romaine Empire has Fallen... Caesar is dead...
Julius Caesar walks into a bar...
He says, “I’ll have a martinus.”
Bartender asks “You mean martini?”
Julius Caesar replies “If I wanted more than one, I would have asked for it.”
We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.
‘Now its a real ‘Caesar’ salad’
A sperm donor, a lumberjack, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
A sperm donor, a Carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar
He came, He saw and He conquered
What did Julius Caesar say after he conquered a brothel?
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
Any salad is a Caesar salad if you stab it enough times
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