Avoid marathons where Julius or Little participate. It's dangerous to run with Caesars.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.

They absolutely killed it.

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zion2199
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Fun fact: Julius Caesar never told his men "Good job".

This is likely because he couldn't speak English.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmbasehore
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Julius Caesar, after having an epileptic fit, during the time he was a hostage of pirates, immediately need a dictionary?

As Caesar's seizure ceased at sea, he said "I'm sleepy" and grabbed some zzz's.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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I was angry when Julius Caesar was killed

I was absolutely 50 1 5 1 500

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeHL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st0len_meme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Brutus: Dude how many Caesar's salads did you eat?

Julius: <Burps> Ate 2 Brute

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurlyHead1002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don't know is that he wasn't stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad - hence the name "Caesar's Salad." When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:

Ate two, Brute.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Julius Caesar say when he went to Starbucks?

Veni vidi venti!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, Carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar

... He came, he saw, he conquered

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?

it was over dressed

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zazend15c
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you see that post about Caesar's salad?

It's a real cut up...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daveAnonSolo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.

Also known as a Julius Seizure.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.

Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."

(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vforvegas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a Caesar salad?

You take a regular salad and stab it 27 times

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wernershnitzl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers

And says "Give me five beers".

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BumperBabyAngel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross Trump and Caesar?

Orange Julius

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brooke_pollockkk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,

β€œDad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loonmaster2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?

Because he had so many lesions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Couch for sale. Fit for a caesar.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LumpiestEntree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Caesar Salad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ureverypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Chicken Caesar!
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him

So I came, I sawed, I coloured

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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When your friend Caesar tells you a good joke
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbem2016
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know Caesar had a ranch on the thousand islands in north America?

I don't know why he called it a ranch they only grew lettuce.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?

Because she lived in the Nile

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/princezornofzorna
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A bowl of knives is a caesar salad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bengoumaII
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar was stabbed several times by his own congress

Making him, contrary to popular belief, the first holey Roman emperor

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kisskissyesyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?

Hail Caesar

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't believe Julius Caesar invaded France

Like honestly, he had the Gaul to do that? Wow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmEdgy03
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at the Theatre of Pompey

Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?

Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...

Brutus: I ate 2 slices.

Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amanbbi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Caesar's seizures
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Caesar say to the Senate?
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WitchSavannah
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a Cajun Chef named Julius Caesar

who said to his Sous Chef, β€œEtouffΓ©e Brute?”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piratesox
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Julius Caesar like his water?

Rome temperature.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Little Caesar say right before he was punched?

"You want a pizza me?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrewciferCDXX
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The Romaine Empire has Fallen... Caesar is dead...

Lettuce pray.....

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaymantheLegend
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar walks into a bar...

He says, β€œI’ll have a martinus.”

Bartender asks β€œYou mean martini?”

Julius Caesar replies β€œIf I wanted more than one, I would have asked for it.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.

β€˜Now its a real β€˜Caesar’ salad’

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipoca-queimada
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a lumberjack, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a Carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar

He came, He saw and He conquered

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Julius Caesar say after he conquered a brothel?

Vici, vidi, veni

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theEluminator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Any salad is a Caesar salad if you stab it enough times
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enzene
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report

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