They get stale really fast.
On reflection though, I don’t knead to as it would be seedy, half baked, would get me rolled, wouldn’t involve me using my loaf and would leave me open to all sort of bread based buns...
Then I realised it was my cake day and it wasn’t kneaded
He has a rye sense of humor...
But I thought most of you would find it rather stale
The baker gave a rye smile.
It's too bad, because I was on a roll.
He didn’t know wheat I was talking about
So was heading out of my room to the hallway and right when I opened the door, I ran into my roommate eating a plain slice of bread. We both surprised each other, so we just froze for a second. I don't even know how it happened, but the words instinctively came out of my mouth as if I was born to say them.
"Looks like I caught you...bread-handed."
But they're all crummy
He took it with a grain assault.
My daughter and I were making some bread and I accidently splashed some flour on her . I said "sorry" and she said "you did it on purpose". I replied I did it on "All purpose".
Today, I tried to watch a video on how to bake bread, I couldn't see anything though, because the picture was too grainy
Some family friends of ours needed our help mass producing some ginger bread houses for an event they do every year. They make an insane amount of pieces, so they need help cutting out the doors, windows, and over all assembly. The family friend, my dad, and myself were all cutting out windows and doors when this happened:
Me: Aw man, one of these pieces just broke.
Family Friend: It's alright, we have extra. But every time I see one fall apart I see 30 minutes of my life go away.
Dad: Well I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Me: loses it
Because they're knot-bread.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
Apparently it's a very stable career choice.
...he said, "nah, pho real dough."
Rick O'Shea !!!!
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"
When I ask I can never get a straight answer.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.
Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter.
Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.
it rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist
what do you call a dog breed bred to hear really well?
corn bread
*this was a pun i made a while ago to see how many puns i could fit in a short joke.
It made me sad, because I knew it was bread in captivity.
I said, “Why would I want two empty glasses?”
“But today...” he continued. “Wherever you go, there are cameras...”
I didn't think so, it is on a knead to dough basis.
Because it was stale, mate.
My daughter said she ate too much and felafel. My son asked which pita was the one Katniss was marrying. I was glad he could rise to the occasion with a bread joke. It was the yeast he could do.
We were sitting on a little bench, watching birds going crazy over some bread that had been left on the ground. "I wonder who gave the little birds those rolls", she said.
"Probably the casting director."
http://imgur.com/t0iHkD0
Edit: I got gold for making someone groan. Thank you so much, I'm now much more motivated to impregnate a woman so I can unleash my terrible jokes on the fruit of my loins.
My son: "I will take that as a condiment"
But making it is such a pain
So I'm British and my wife is Korean. She is ALWAYS asking for tissue to wipe her nose as it's constantly running.
So joke 1: Baby, are you entering your nose in a marathon? Wife puzzled look Because it's always running.
This led to a problem, she didn't understand it straight away. I was incensed, I explained it and got a few laughs from the family but it wasn't enough, I needed the groan.
The next meal I tried again. In Korean, snot is called Nose water (direct translation). So with this in mind I said this 'Baby, we should send your nose to africa, it's full of water'. This led to the groan I so wanted....and an explaination as to why it was stupid....
Mission sucessful
Loaf bread.
An actual dad joke from about an hour ago. He delivered it flawlessly.
My dad holds up the empty bread basket to the waiter and, with a serious face, says "this bread, we have naan."
But I thought most of you would find it rather stale
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
Guess that's what we get for buying a pure bread dog...
