A floating memory of the Johnny Cash song A Boy Named Sue
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︎ Oct 31 2022
There once was a boy born with no body, only a head.
On his 21st birthday his dad asked him what heβd like to do. βGo to the bar for a beerβ, he said. So they went.
His dad propped his son on the bar. βBeer for my son, pleaseβ. The dad poured the beer into his sonβs mouth. Two arms sprouted from his neck. βItβs a miracle! Bartender, quick! Grab another beer!β
The son grabbed the second beer with his new arms and drank it. A body grew below his arms. The bartender ran for another beer. The boy drank it and sure enough, two legs sprouted from his torso.
He yelled, βDad look! I have a body!β In his excitement he ran out of the bar. His dad and the bartender followed and to their horror, watched as the kid ran into the street and got run over by a bus. The dad said, βOh son, I never thought to teach you to look both ways before crossing the streetβ.
The bartender said, βPoor kid, shouldβve quit while he was aheadβ.
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︎ Oct 10 2022
A boy is riding on a donkey while his old grandfather walks beside
Townsfolk see this and comment how horrible it is that the old man with mobility issues walks while the younger boy rides it.
Hearing this the two switch places but other townsfolk say how terrible it is to see the young boy having to walk.
The two thus decide to both ride on the donkey and other townsfolk say how cruel it is to put such a burden on the donkey by having both ride it.
So the two decide to carry the donkey. As they cross a bridge, however, they lose their grip on the donkey and it falls into the water and drowns.
The moral of the story: If you're goal is to please everyone, you can kiss your ass goodbye.
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︎ Nov 16 2022
A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is. A boy at the back puts up his hand and says "G". The teacher says,
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︎ Sep 23 2022
Reports are coming in that Boy George has been attacked by an agitated reptile on the set of I'm A Celebrity...
They should have gotten a calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer Chameleon - but apparently, they come and go.
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︎ Nov 10 2022
What's a boy scout's favorite method of communication?
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︎ Nov 03 2022
A logger took his son to work the other day. The father went to look for a tree and the son stayed behind to practice his swing. The boy tripped and dinged the truck. His farther came back and saw the ding. He said "son, can you tell me what I'm looking at?". The son said,
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︎ Sep 18 2022
Daughter brings her new boyfriend home to meet the parents. They're shocked by his clothing, tattoos, and piercings. Later the mom says, "He doesn't seem to be a very nice boy."
"Oh, mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
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︎ Sep 24 2022
A boy says to his father: Dad I want ice cream.
The father answers: I want ice cream too son but your mother gave us money only for two beers.
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︎ Aug 31 2022
How do you tell the difference between a girl ant and a boy ant?
You put it in a cup of water, if it sinks its a girl ant if it floats its boy-ant
Hehe
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︎ Jun 05 2022
A small boy swallows some coins and is taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephones to ask how he is, the nurse tells her, βNo change yet.β
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︎ Aug 17 2022
A boy mysteriously tripped on the stairs and died.
The police said it was a very strange staircase.
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︎ Aug 17 2022
a boy band went on a hike in the the jungle and got stuck in quick sand....
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︎ Sep 27 2022
What do you call a little boy made of pasta who comes to life?
Pi-gnocchi-o
(I really wish you could hear how hard I'm laughing to myself)
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︎ Feb 24 2022
During the Zulu Wars, a British Colonel and a Geordie drummer boy are standing together as they hear drums in the distance.
The Colonel says to the Geordie drummer boy, "They have war drums".
The Geordie drummer boy says "Eee the thieving bastards!"
A niche joke for anyone from North-East England.
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︎ Sep 08 2022
A little boy came running up to me and said, "Please help, my dad is in a fight!" I followed him and came across two men fighting, so I asked him, "Which one's your dad?!" He replied, "I don't know."
"That's what they're fighting about."
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︎ Jan 07 2022
When I was a boy I had small kidneys
Now that I'm older, I have Adultneys
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︎ Jul 12 2022
One day a boy broom met a girl broom and they fell in love. They decided to get married!
Just before the ceremony, the girl broom went to find the boy broom to tell him something. She said, βGuess what?! Weβre going to have little whisk brooms!β and the boy broom replied, βHow can that be? Weβve never even swept together!β
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︎ May 12 2022
Why was a Nephrologist called in after a young boy had his legs crushed by a car?
Because he needed to examine the boy's kid knees.
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︎ Jun 30 2022
How do you know if a book is a boy or girl?
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︎ Aug 26 2022
I stepped on a Game Boy
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︎ Jun 29 2022
My sister has just given birth to a baby boy and decided to call him Mark, but with a C.
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︎ Jun 29 2022
What did the boy say to his father when he left for a mexican city?
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︎ Jun 30 2022
Get a Key Grip on your Best Boy, Dolly.
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︎ Jun 02 2022
When I was a young boy my dad said to me, you can be anything you want in life, the sky is the limit.
Which made me sad. cause I wanted to an astronaut.
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︎ Jun 04 2022
My wife didnβt like the last second name I suggested for a baby boy even thoughβ¦
I came up with it in the Nick of time.
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︎ Jul 16 2022
A logician had a baby. His colleague asked, "Was it a boy or a girl?"
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︎ Jul 08 2022
As a boy, I had a pet frog named Hoppy. Want to know why we named him that?
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︎ Jun 06 2022
What does a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common?
They can both smell it but they canβt eat it.
My wife did not find this humorous.
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︎ Apr 20 2022
OC- A boy named Ted Dopp goes up to his parents.
"Mom? Dad?" he asks. "Some of the kids at school said I look different from you. Are you my real parents?"
His parents smile and say, "You are a Dopp, Ted."
Ted cries.
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︎ Mar 12 2022
My parents always wanted a girl, when they saw I was a boy they named me Adam..
Because they took one look at me and thought "ah damn!"
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︎ May 04 2022
A boy and his father are walking down the street when the boy notices a group of people stood next to a building holding matchboxes and Jerry cans.
The boy asks his father βDad,are those people setting fire to that building?β. The father replies βYes, they arsonβ
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︎ Mar 17 2022
A little boy was crying so I reminded him he was going to see SpongeBob.
He calmed down and even helped me tie the bricks to his ankles.
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︎ Mar 07 2022
My sister gave birth to twins. A boy and a girl.
She rang me up and told me she had a boy and a girl. She asked me for ideas on names. My sister asked, what's a good name for the girl?
I replied, Denise!
Aww that's a good name my sister said. What about the boy?
I replied, Danephew
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︎ Oct 03 2021
My baby boy is a young prodigy magician
He just turned a nickel into a 400$ bill
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︎ Apr 11 2022
I said: Hey boy, what's it like being a dog?
He said: pretty great.
I said: I thought for sure you'd say it's rough.
He said: nah, that'll only get you like 5 upvotes.
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︎ Apr 09 2022
We may not know who the Easter Bunny is, but we know he's a boy.
It's true! He's a Myster-E. Bunny
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︎ Apr 10 2022
Did you hear about the boy with the dog that barked a lot?
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︎ Apr 16 2022
What do you call a Momma's boy in 2022?
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︎ Apr 15 2022
My mushroom is a boy... Will be a fungi when he gets older.
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︎ Oct 15 2021
A little boy asks his dad, "Do trees poop?"
The dad says, "Of course. Where do you think #2 pencils come from?"
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︎ Apr 15 2021
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
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︎ Jul 22 2020
My sister just had a baby boy. They have decided to call him Mark, but with a C.
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︎ Jun 28 2022
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
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︎ Jan 22 2021
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