A little boy asks his dad, "Do trees poop?"

The dad says, "Of course. Where do you think #2 pencils come from?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Navitach
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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A boy picked up an acorn

A boy picked up an acorn and showed it to his dad.

He asks, β€œDad what’s this?”

His Father replies, β€œThat’s a tree”

β€œReally?”

β€œIn a nutshell, yes.”

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Juice14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2021
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A boy asked his veteran grandfather

β€œWhere you shot in the army?” Grandfather replied β€œNo but I was shot in the leggy”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2021
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Boy Band breaks up as boy becomes a girl

Does this mean they’ve lost a member?

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/albachiel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
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A young boy and an old man are walking through the woods at night. The boy tells the man: "I'm scared. It's really dark and spooky out here."

The old man replies, "YOU'RE scared?! I'm the one that has to walk back alone!"

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weebado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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What do you get when you mix a Korean boy band with too much sugar?

Dia-BTS.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
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A little boy gets home from school : /r/cleanjokes/comments/ol…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
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A mother gave birth to a boy with a defect, he only had a head.

There was no body, arms or legs to him but he was functioning normal and his parents loved him. On his 21st birthday his dad took him to a bar, bought him a beer and gave it to him to drink. Suddenly his torso grew out of his head. Around him amazed the bar started chanting β€œDrink, Drink!” His dad got a second beer and gave it to him, this time he grew arms and hands. The stunned crowd all chanted again β€œDrink, Drink” He got his third beer and drank it himself with his new hands, suddenly legs and feet grew. The crowd applauded and cheered. The son couldn’t believe it and started to run. He ran around in circles and then out of the bar. Unfortunately he ran into the road, got hit by a truck and was killed instantly. The barman looked at his dad, sighed and said β€œHe should have quit while he was a head”

πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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What do you call a fat boy from western Russia?

A Siberian husky

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bring_me_the_lads
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
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A boy is shoving candy into his face when his mom yells at him to stop.

"Don't eat so much candy all at once!"

"Why?" the boy replied.

"If you eat too much candy, you're stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!"

The boy is shocked by this image an immediately stops eating candy. The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman. The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, "I know what you've been doing."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winklesnad31
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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What do you call a boy that’s rude to his father?

Dickson.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zapps2000x
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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Why did the young boy become a cereal killer?

Because he hates Life

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vanitys4losers
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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Why did the little boy run away when making a cake? Because it said crack 2 eggs, then beat it.

Cake joke for my cake day!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atg0184
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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Ghost Dad asked, "What does a ghost girl have that a ghost boy doesn't?"

Boo-bies

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do a boy band and a dish sponge have in common?

Both are in sink(NSYNC)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RigidRat
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Does Boy George have a criminal record?

No, he's a man without convictions.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gogo726
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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I got a virus on my computer that starts playing a boy band's hits every time I turn it on, unless I send $50K in cryptocurrency to cyberperps in Russia....

I'm the victim of a Hansenware attack.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to a Beach Boys concert a while back

It was Fun Fun Fun

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_of_breadstic
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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A boy who enters a fandom is called a fanboy. A girl who enters the fandom is called a fangirl. What is a non binary person called then?

A fanby

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lanky-Ad1212
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Catboy is a boy with cat ears and catgirl is a girl with cat ears

Since I’m neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?

πŸ‘︎ 162
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEnBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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A man went to the doctor’s and told him, β€œI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

He said, β€œWow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a boy clock and a girl clock?

A boy clock goes "tick tock, tick tock, tick tock" and a girl clock just tocks...and tocks...and tocks.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv242
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I said to my therapist that I feel a little paranoid with Back Street Boys, and he said...

Tell me why

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grunky06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vissik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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A German boy pushes his brother off a cliff.

β€œLook mom, no Hans!”

πŸ‘︎ 356
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Boy : "Dad, could you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

Dad : "No sun"

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hollomere
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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A man and his boy are out on their first camping trip...

They get into a huge fight about the best way to start the camp fire.

The two sit in silence for a few moments, cold and frustrated

The dad promptly reaches into his backpack, grabs a pair of scissors and tears into the wall of their canvas shelter.

The son yells, "What the heck are you doing, you maniac?!!?!?"

The dad turns to him, looks him dead in the eyes, and says, "Just trying to cut the tent-son."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wushock4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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My son's a happy boy... I recently persuaded him to swallow a flashlight...

...you should have seen his face light up.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kublakhan1977
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,

on Sonday.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skilldan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant? (SFW don't worry)

Put them in water. If one floats, it's (a) boyant.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LocoEva-7139
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you know if your goldfish is a girl or a boy?

Throw some food into the tank. If she eats the food, she is a girl, if he eats the food, it's a boy!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeznyBezny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Was so proud of my boys. I just asked them what we should call the can opener that just broke. I’m an instant they said, β€œA can’t opener?” They will be good dads someday!

A pic for anyone who wants to see it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/lum6ev/so_if_this_is_broken_would_it_now_be_a_cant_opener/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kileni
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Tell me mommy, at first did you want a boy or a girl?

At first I just wanted to take a shower

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Popal24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father

is this a dad joke? No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.

Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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I'm a very nutty boy
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heimthror
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...

Bison

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I was once a boy trapped in a woman’s body

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy says he taught his dog Morse code. "Aye right Show me." Mate says. Guy turns to dog and asks "who's been a good boy then?" Dog uses paw on ground. Tap tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap tap tap pause tap. "what he say?" Mate asks

"woof" guy replies

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDogBoyMark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Boy: β€œDad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”

Dad: β€œNo sun”

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigbiglove33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be called uncles

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFleshGordon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to a Beach Boys concert a while back.

It was Fun Fun Fun

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_of_breadstic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report

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