I bestow upon you my greatest creation
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/7deadlyAdamSandlers
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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A man is sitting in the hospital with his newborn baby when his own father walks in.

Father: "So, how does it feel being a dad?"

Son: "It feels good. I'm a bit scared of course, but so excited at the same time. How does it feel being a grandfather?"

Father: "It feels pretty great. You've always been a good son and I've been patiently waiting for this special moment. There's something now that I have to give you."

The son watches curiously as his father pulls a large tome out of his backpack with exquisite text on the cover: 'The Big Book of Dad Jokes'.

Father: " For generations these sacred texts have been passed down through the patriarchs of our family. My father gave it to me when you were born and now, as a new father yourself, I bestow it to you. With this book you will have all the knowledge needed to become a truly great Dad."

Son: " Wow, Dad, this is amazing! Truly! I'm... I'm honored."

The father smiles as he extends his arm out to shake his son's hand and says,

"Nice to meet you, Honored. I'm Dad."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Why are noses in the middle of your face?

Because theyโ€™re the scenter.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NobleLionTower
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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My dad got me good when coming to see his first granchild

Last week I left the delivery room to go meet my dad so that he could meet his first grandchild for the first time.

Emotions were high and smiles all around... and he was carrying a Costco tub of mixed nuts he had been snacking on.

All visitors must wash their hands before entering the room and as I was opening the door he got me with "Can you handle my nuts?"

I could hear his proud giggling as I walked away shaking my head... he has bestowed on me a great responsibility.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bones2484
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 02 2016
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