It's butt-quack
Dough-nuts
The crack of dawn
He never got iron knee
True story: the wife and I were walking in Target this evening. We were walking in the clothing section, behind an employee who was moving a mannequin. Out of nowhere the whole arm pops off, and the poor woman can’t bend to pick it up because… ya know… she’s holding the rest of the mannequin. So I walk up, grab the limb while she’s looking around for another employee to help, hold it out to her and say…
“Here, let me give you a hand”
She took it. No laughter. My wife? Nothing. So I am posting here in the hopes that my genius will be appreciated. Keep getting those dad jokes in the wild, folks.
My daughter is having surgery on her knees today, and they are going to be inserting some cadaver parts into her knees. Looking for some good dad jokes.
So far, I've used, "bad weather's a comin', I can feel it in these old bones", "They aren't second-hand bones, they're second-knee bones", and "The knee bone's connected to...someone else's bone".
Rodney.
Because communication is key.
You have to bend over backwards to get in.
What a waist.
His butt quack.
but he didn’t know squat.
When I asked for a demonstration he told me to fork off.
It was worth it to see his little face light up.
How low can you go? 😏
He had multiple tractors on his farm, tractor posters on his walls, watched documentaries about tractors, in short, his house was full of tractor paraphernalia.
One day, the Bob's wife, Mary was taking a stroll out in the fields, just where he happened to be riding one of his tractors. Bob was gunning it up and down the fields, having a blast. But then he started driving in the direction of his wife. Despite her screams, Bob couldnt hear Mary over the loud engine of his tractor, and ended up unfortunately running her over.
After this, Bob felt guilty about killing his wife. He sold all of his tractors, he took down all of his posters, and threw away all of his tractor merch. He sold his farm and bought a new house in the suburbs to further distance himself from tractors.
After a few years, Bob felt it was time to start dating again, so he started going to his local coffee shop, hoping to find a new girlfriend. Bob was pleased to find the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, so he introduced himself, and they really hit it off. They started going on dates and got to know each other better.
After a few years of dating, Bob felt it was time to propose, so he prepared a beautiful date in the fanciest restaurant in the city. They had a lovely dinner and before they ordered dessert, he decided it was time to propose. But as Bob got the ring box out of his pocket he dropped it, and bending over to pick it up, he knocked his head on the table, knocking a candle over. The candle set fire to the tablecloth and quickly spread to the carpet.
A waiter quickly came up and poured a big jug of water onto the fire in order to put it out, but this caused a plume of smoke to come up, filling the restaurant. Everyone was choking and coughing, so Bob takes a deep breath, sucking in all of the smoke, and runs out of the restaurant. He pokes his head out the door and breathes out, all of the smoke flying away outside. His date is amazed and asked "Wow! how did you do that?"
Bob laughed and said "It's quite simple, I'm an Ex-Tractor Fan"
They were in an awkward position
crows could only drink at home.
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
Because it's a Joint effort
She would bend over backwards for everyone!
They're always bent out of shape.
An air con
We really need to raise the bar.
"No thanks, just looking around."
Ok boomerang.
I have a hunch, it might be me.
He was a terrible king....But a great ruler.
Yoga pants.
I told her it’s so he can cut corners
I think he's ok, as he's slowly coming round.
and found out how a Mercedes bends.
His dough-nuts
The crack of dawn.
Doughnuts
Doughnuts
I mean, how low can you go?
Donuts
donuts..
A butt quack.
The crack of dawn.
Doughnuts
