Did you hear about the guy that got killed by a wheelbarrow?

Apparently, he was living on barrowed time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaPsyco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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A friend of mine was telling me about her first day working at a zoo...

When she arrived at the zoo she went to see her manager and asked what she should do, the manager told her to first go feed the sharks, so she went off to feed them. Whilst she was shovelling the food into the pool a shark jumped out of the water and tried to bite her, as a reflex she hit the shark with the spade and the shark died. Worried about losing her job this soon the woman started brainstorming what to do, eventually she decided to feed the dead shark to the lions thereby removing all evidence and so that is what she did. Shaken but glad she had avoided detection the women went back to see her manager and asked if there was anything else that needed doing, she was told to go and clean out the monkey cage.. So off the woman went with a wheelbarrow and shovel to clean out the cage, as she was shovelling the poop into the barrow a monkey jumped down from the tree towards her! As a reflex reaction the women smashed the monkey with the spade and it lay dead. Thankfully she knew just what to do and so she threw the monkey into the lion cage. Shaken and ready to go home by now, the women went to see if there were any final jobs that needed doing: she was tasked with collecting the honey from the bees. So she got changed into her protective gear however she forgot to tuck in the back of her shirt so when it came to doing the bees, one particularly large bee came and stung her right on the behind! The woman screamed and started whacking the bees until many lay dead. By now she didn’t even have to think.. she collected the dead bees and threw them in the lion cage before going home for a quiet evening.

The next day there was a new lion in the lion cage. The new lion said to the other lions β€œso what’s the food like here??” The other lions responded...

β€œActually it’s quite good. Yesterday we had FISH, CHIMPS and MUSHY BEES!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SidB_22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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My wife is growing up to be a good dad.

We are doing a landscaping project and we are looking for a wheeled basket to help transport rock to our backyard. She said "I wonder if anyone has something we can barrow..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmoffitt15
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2016
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Why did the chicken cross the state line?

He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTrekkie1701
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
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Dadjoked by my neighbor.

I was loading up some gravel into wheel barrows to be dumped in the back yard. My neighbor rolls up in his baby blue Nissan Leaf and gets out. He takes one look at me and says "Your rockin' out."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Essunset
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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