Wanted: A man who has been stealing wheels from police cars

Police are working tirelessly to catch him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bosco_syrup
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day: bought a bing, bought a boom.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AspenTD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
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Parents talking about when they were dating

My mom was talking about how my dad wouldn't stop talking about her when they were dating just as he got up from the table to go to the bathroom

They brought it up because I just got my license.

Mom: "When your dad first got a car he had a girl who liked him inside first and he kept on going on and on and on about me. She found that annoying. Ask him who was the first person in his car! See if he'll lie about it!"

Me: "Dad who was the first person in your car? Mom wants to know."

Dad: "Me. Its not gonna drive its self"

Me: "Well hes not wrong mom."

Mom: "Shut up"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IxuntouchblexI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The look on their face when your nailing them! Bada Bing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbetter1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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The ultimate Dad recipe

Do you know how to make Chicken Egg Roll?

Put it on an inclined plane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickthecabbie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2016
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