Fry day
because there should be something for those who don't get the V or the D
A lieulandlord
It's my thirty second birthday
They just arrrrr
P. It's like R but missing a leg.
It's a pirate who lost an eye.
No, not 'R'.
You'd think it'd be 'R', but it's the 'C' they love!
I thought she was seeing someone else.
An ARRRRR-tickle!
Sea kelp.
Arr, M'atey!
Patrick was literally the star of the show
His murders were orcastrated.
But most arrrrrrrrr
I can't hear you! :-)
He walked into a bar and the bartender asked him, "do you know there's a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate answers, "ay, it's driving me nuts."
I’m looking for something catchy.
But one thing is for sure tho, I'm going to go to the bottom with this
My cousin (MtF) has just come out to the family- she told some of us "younger" ones but she was afraid especially of what her dad's reaction would be. He's a man of few words and was never outgoing or very affectionate to his kids, his side of the family is pretty conservative as well. A very as-seen-on-TV-in-the-90s dad with a handlebar moustache and multiple different-but-same polo t-shirts. Her mum passed a few years ago and they are even more distant than ever. It was finally the big day and she told him in front of a couple of us. The silence seemed to stretch on into the infinite. After some time, he got up, and without even a slight change in expression he said- "so I guess you can't see me now".
...
More silence
...
"Because I'm a transparent geddit?" With the most gigantic smile I've EVER seen him crack.
It's been 5 days and he's been cracking the same joke on every opportunity he can, ever since.
Edit- I forgot my favorite part- he asked her if she would like to add her mum's name in her new one because he missed saying it. I BAWLED my eyes out.
Edit2: obligatory I can't believe how much this blew up! We met at a family gathering yesterday and he was still chuckling so i decided to post this. I sent my cousin this post and she says he's very proud of himself. Thanks for all the awards! This is crazy!
I see that there was some confusion about the moustache description - we're a first generation Indian - Hindu family, and it's traditional especially for the older generation I think.
It's a cute moment, but not everyone is as positive. Some neighbors, people at school, a teacher or so (it's just a phase! you'll ruin your life!), and she's been handling calls all day from AH family members who only call for gossip.
NOKIA!
Wife eyerolled and laughed when I was cutoff in traffic.
Must be Argh
(Pirate voice) Argh you'd like to think, but it be sea!
You let the mango
Plenty of vitamin sea
Ay matey!
People ask me, what is the letter I miss the most.
Of course, it be my “i”!
Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too!
Because of all of the booty
I just mentally slapped myself
You would think that it’s R, but his first love will always be the C
but it's basically the same thing as triple A ay.
He plead not kilty
It's called the iPatch.
... commissioning a new figurehead carving for their ship.
The first mate's suggestions were shot down one by one by the captain. A shark? An octopus? A giant squid? None were acceptable.
Finally, the first mate had a moment of revelation, "what about a mermaid with gigantic breasts?"
The captain agreed, "Yarrr, wooden tit be lovely."
It can write other words too!
I won’t lose any sleep over it.
I replied William.
They only cost a buck an ear!
He answered "Ay Kenneth Si"
They think, therefore they ARRRRRRgh!
Because we'll be jalapeno business.
They always tell me my balance is outstanding.
You would think it is R, but his true love is the C.
