Ay Ay Ay Puns

For those of you not getting the v or the d

because there should be something for those who don't get the V or the D

Geometry

Ay poppy

It wasn’t very poplar.

It was very time consuming

I guess they aren't a very poplar.

A Toyota Yaaaris

I keep my money in a snowbank. I went to make a withdrawl, but it turns out I have snow money.

I was wearing a frog costume which got me fired. Turns out, I kermit-ted a crime

In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

A Pine-apple!

I met a stranger o‌‌n t‌‌he t‌‌ube t‌‌he o‌‌ther d‌‌ay. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he s‌‌aid, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon".

That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".

But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy t‌‌apped o‌‌n m‌‌y bedroom w‌‌indow, a‌‌t 1‌‌1.30 pm last n‌‌ight. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon."

My conversation with the police then went like this:

Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.

Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?

Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...

Ay bring ham, Lincoln.

Ay papi!

Penn-ay

So I wrote an U-Ess-ay

I guess you can say I’m branching out and sprucing them up a bit. They’re oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.

A zombay-ay-ay

My son asked me "Where's the chili powder?"

I replied "Right next to the Argentina powder."

To his credit, he slitted his eyes and intoned "I said 'chill-EE' powder, not 'chill-AY' powder, Dad."

The Cheddarales (ched-er-AHL-ays).

Ay, bring ham, Lincoln