Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.

Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire.

Thus, we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2022
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My friend, a local fire marshal and an avid practitioner of tasseomancy (tea leaf reading), developed a new method of predicting future fires using ash patterns.

We called him 'The Sootsayer'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vanpierreddit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2022
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Even though I'm an avid duck and goose hunter, I don't own any calls.

My wife doesn't want me using fowl language.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Did you know that Tesla was an avid news reader?

He liked to keep up with current events

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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An avid coin collector, I had run out of money for food. What should I do? I know!

I still had my pizzas of eight!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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What did the avid bird hunter do?

Murder most fowl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidlyugly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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This one’s for all those avid readers of the complete joke...

1

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Which social network has the most avid readers in the world?

Reddit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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I'm an avid subscriber to Father Magazine.

I guess you could say I've got Daddy issues.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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Personally, I’m an avid supporter of gravity

But during my college days at NASA, I was very much anti-gravity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robbophile
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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A new study found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.

Due to a fire at the bowling league’s headquarters, though, we will probably never know for whom the Tells bowled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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I used to be an avid assalt rifler

But my doctor says I have to cut back on the salt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainPortFungus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Rick Astley is an avid Disney/Pixar collector and very generous at that if you ask him to he will borrow you any DVD in his collection except one

He's never gonna give you 'Up'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattmilli1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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My son was looking for some protein powder and he's also an avid meme fan

When he did find it he told me he found da whey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/datdragonfruittho
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
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guys I was baking and someone came and took it!

It was stollen ☹️

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πŸ‘€︎ u/odin391
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2022
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Ad appeared in personal ads section.... Middle aged outdoors man, avid bass fisherman looking for like minded single woman with a bass boat....

Send picture of boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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TIL that our eyes are the last thing to stop working when we pass away.

They dilate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EsseB420
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2022
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I like to think of myself as an avid fisherman.

Although I've never actually caught an avid, I still fish for them every time I go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobarhino
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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My grandad was an avid clock collector, until he recently passed away

We spent ages winding up his estate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ud_patter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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I'm a father of 5 and an avid cyclist. My 8 year old son came to me with this one yesterday.

8yo: "Dad! I've got a joke I think you'll like. It's about bikes."
Me: "Yeah? What is it?"
8yo: "What kind of moustache does a bike grow?"
Me: "I don't know."
8yo: "A handlebar!"

I'm very proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eccentricfather
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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Why is Six Afraid of Seven?

Because Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2021
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I was on a train the other day when two Swedish men sat down next to me

The two introduced themselves as Sven and Olf. Olf in particular was wearing a t-shirt with the USSR flag on and boasted a cap with a hammer and sickle on, so I assumed he was an avid communist. I asked them if either of them knew where I could get alcohol on the train, and Olf piped up:

"If you go to carriage 4, you can get a guinness, you idiot. You can also find a stella in carriage 6, dumbass. There's also someone microbrewing in the front of the train, but he looks stupid."

I was a bit taken aback at how mean Olf was, but I thanked him for the information. Soon after, when he got up to go to the bathroom, I asked Sven what the deal was with his friend.

"Don't worry" he said.

"Rude Olf the red knows train beer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MathaMeticulous
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2021
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Pythagoras the explorer (long)

Everyone knows the Pythagorean theorem, but few people know that Pythagoras was an avid and accomplished explorer who visited the new world before the Vikings or Columbus ever laid eyes on the continent. On one of his early visits he encountered a village and happened upon a woman, heavily pregnant sitting on the hide of a bear. He asked her what she was doing and she told him that she wanted to give birth on the hide so that her child would have the strength of a bear when he was born. As he walked further into the main part of the village he saw another woman, again quite pregnant sitting on the hide of a deer. When asked she replied that she wanted her child to have the grace and agility of a deer. Seeing a trend he was taken aback when he saw a very pregnant woman sitting on the hide of a hippopotamus. Surprised both at the choice and at the existence of such a creature, he wondered what she must wish for her child, but she replied that there just weren’t any other hides available for her so she took what she could get.

Many years later when he returned to the same village, he encountered the first woman and asked about her child. Was he as strong as a bear? She pointed him out and sure enough, her son was busy ripping a stump out of the ground with his hands, as strong as a bear! Amazed, he sought out the second woman, who pointed out her son, running through a field at great speed, as graceful and agile as a deer! Intrigued to say the least, Pythagoras sought the third woman. She pointed out her son, and he didn’t believe his eyes - he was both as strong as a bear and as graceful as a deer; a mountain of a man with grace and poise.

He wrote in his now-famous travel journal his amazing discovery; that the sons of the squaws on the two smaller hides are equal to that of the squaw on the hippopotamus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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Calling all DadJokers!

Hey there!

I'm an avid dad joker, and it looks like within 24 hours I'll finally be a dad myself. Throughout the pregnancy, I've had a blast making jokes about womb temperature, and ultrasounds making her a womb with a view.

Now is where I need your assistance. I've been expressly forbidden from making any jokes during the labor process, which means I am of course going to make jokes.

Got any great pregnancy/labor/new baby jokes?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
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Granddad joke, but still counts

family member: "I heard that he was an avid hunter."

Granddad: "Now, what kind of gun do you use to hunt avids?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NebulaNinja
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
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brakes and gaming

My van's brakes have been grinding for the past few days and I was able to get them fixed yesterday.

On the way to driving my daughter, an avid WOW player, to school this morning I stopped at the stop sign and said, "You hear that?" She shakes her head no. "The brakes aren't grinding anymore. The van is now level 51!"

She simply looked at me and shook her head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobsbattle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
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The land of the free and the home of the puns

> Friend: Is it chilly outside? > > Me: No, it's America.

As an avid punster, the blank, angry stares I got after that one were a highlight of my year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardcoreHugs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2014
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Golfing with my dad

My dad who is an avid golfer steps up to the first tee today and says "You know why they call me BMW?"

Me: Why?

He proceeds to crush his drive down the middle of the fairway and says "because I'm the ultimate driving machine".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bethrin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2014
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Curling humor

My dad is an avid curler and plays all the time. Someone from the club calls and asks him to spare for him and he answers: 'I'm not a mechanic, I cant fix your spare." I slapped my face a little too hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/christine63
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2013
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My dad jokes too. . .

So having just seen this subreddit, I realize that my dad makes dad jokes too!

Here's some examples!

Whenever I / my sister would fall, or crash into something. Like, say, I fell on the floor

Me: Owww! Dad! I fell on the floor!

Dad: Oh no! Is the floor alright?!

(ba dum chhh!)


My sister's name is Helga, which can also translate to weekend in Norwegian

Dad: Question.

Helga: Yeah?

Dad: What are you doing in the weekend, weekend?

(ba dum bow-bow kachika-wow chhh!!)


Dad and me are avid fishers, so we've gone on fishing-trips in the nearby fjord, my dad is the type who buys the most expensive gear and fancies himself a bit of an expert

Dad: Say, let's make this interesting, let's have a fishing competition!

Me: Okay!

later that day I had gotten by far the most and biggest catches

Me: Hah, I won dad!

Dad: No, no. We weren't fishing about the most fish caught, the winner was the one with the least fish! I won!

(ba chinka dinga ka pow, bow dow kow!!!)

... Okay, so maybe the last one wasn't much of a joke, though. Hope you enjoyed the dadly jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeSanti
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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My dad the art historian

A family friend was over talking about how her grandfather was an avid gambler. She was telling us how family legend says that he lost his race track (they are very wealthy) while gambling at another race track. My dad chimes in: "I guess they probably called him Tolose Latrack (Toulouse-Lautrec) artistic facepalm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daggysick
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
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