I hate knight shifts.
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while?
Daughter groaned, employee laughed, other dad's nodded approvingly.
It was surreal.
Me: No, I think they need to stay on the wall.
I asked a worker there if I was allowed to take pictures.
He said no, they had to stay on the walls
There was too much history between us.
My daughter said, "that makes them the founding feathers, dad."
I've never been so proud.
Perform the Guggenheimlich maneuver.
Because they are never hungry. They’re always stuffed.
It was a hair raising experience.
At that moment, I knew I fell in louvre.
Attendant: Sir, that’s a mirror.
It was a thorough exhibition of the jean-ealogy.
I heard they were giving brief tours.
Now we don't even have a toot in common.
Seattle just opened a new Nordic Heritage Museum. I saw a guy in a TShirt that read:
“May the Norse be with you.”
He looked like he coulda been a dad...
I was looking at the taxidermy wild animals and was standing in front of the case with a baby ocelot. A family with two young kids were also standing behind me and I hear the husband say,
"Ocelot? More like Oce-little!"
I found this absolutely hilarious, but his wife just rolls her eyes and shuffles the kids to the next exhibit.
"They must cost a lot of Monet!"
In the gift shop, they had a book called "The Book of General Ignorance". The first thing my dad said was, "What war did he fight in?"
Entering the Smithsonian museum of Natural History today, my 5 year old son screams, Dad there's an elephant in the room! I asked him if he wanted to talk about it and he said, "No."
If he only could appreciate how perfect that moment was for me.
At least two other dads there gave me a knowing smile.
Me: "Dad, I want to see the Vangogh gallery."
Dad: "Van-go? I'd rather Van-stay here!"
Don't touch that!
One of my dads.
12 year old son: "Did you know Venus is the hottest planet in the solar system?"
Me: "Did you know Venus is the only planet whose name rhymes with 'penis'?"
The best part was my wife and kids trying to stifle their embarrassed laughter around the museum visitors. :)
One of the galleries had an air conditioner in it. I pointed to it and said "I like this piece, it's very cool."
She groaned and slapped me for it.
...they must have received a Cézanne desist
I was touring a natural science museum with my extended family, and happened to pause at a large prehistoric fish skeleton. While reading the information about the specimen, I saw a new dad walk by with his wife and two very young children. He paused with his daughter and told her, "They call this fish the sea-rex!".
I hope that father goes far.
There were so many great shales!
one of the exibits was showing kids centripital force by them putting a penny or nickel in a slot and watching it roll around a tube and be held against the sides even when it was rolling horizontally. really cool stuff
my dad looks at it and says "man, talk about money down the drain."
I turned to my gf and said "You know, I might by a book on accidents, but I would never by a book on porpoises."
At a museum with my friend's family when I was looking at a sculpture by Edgar Degas. My friend's dad walks up to me and goes "Hey, this is one of the 3 guys who tried to rob The Louvre". I looked at him confused before he continued "Yeah, luckily they couldn't get away because they ran out of Monet, so they couldn't get Degas to make the Van Gogh".
I hate knight shifts.
Me: No. I think they need to stay on the wall.
and I asked a worker there if we were allowed to take pictures.
He told me no, as they have to stay on the walls.
