I was scared when my professor told me we were going to learn about relative dating today...

Until I learned it wasn’t the Alabama kind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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If my son becomes a priest, what would I call him?

I really want to know. All I can think to do is move to Alabama

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sumguywithkids
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Iron Bowl humor

Q: Did you hear that U of Alabama's library burned? A: It's true! They lost all 3 of their coloring books!

Q: What do you call a beautiful girl on campus at U of A? A: A visitor!

Q: What do a maggot and a U of A fan have in common? A: They can both live off a dead bear for twenty years.

Q: How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 80,001. 1 to change the bulb, 80,000 to talk about how great the old lightbulb was.

Q: How do you make Alabama cookies? A: Put em in a bowl and whip em for 60 minutes.

Q: Did you hear Saban was going to dress up 20 players for the Iron Bowl? A: The rest will have to dress themselves.

Q: Alabama is changing their mascot to the Opossums. A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do Alabama players get on their SATs? A: Drool.

War Eagle!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joblessidiot420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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Me to My kid: "I heard you've been planting trees, son! Why don't you plant Tulips?.."

Nvm, not from Alabama

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cracksniffer666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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What is the trailer park capital of the US?

Mobile, Alabama

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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Did you know that there is a special motel room for relatives?

Suite home Alabama

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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My Jalen Hurts Dad jokes based on the Oklahoma move. (For the sports fans)
  1. Huh Oklahoma seems like an OK move for him.
  2. Aw man I hate Oklahoma never thought he would Stoopsolow.
  3. Well I guess the news was going to come out Sooner or later.
  4. Not surprising I heard multiple reports Lincoln him to the Big 12.
  5. I bet Oklahoma fans are Riley happy today.
  6. (The obvious one) this move really Hirts Alabama’s title chances this year.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeegrounds55
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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[Help!] I'm asking this girl to prom and I need help with the sign.

She's super good at basketball and signed to Alabama earlier this year. I was trying to think of something funny, and usually I'm pretty good at that sorta thing, but Alabama just doesn't work too well. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_munch_butts_AMA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2016
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Timbuktu

This has long been one of my favorite jokes. I'd credit the original writer if I could:

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was literature student from Harvard. The other finalist was a lineman from Alabama. They each would have one minute to compose a poem rhyming the word "Timbuktu."

They drew straws, and Princeton student was to go first. He sat and thought for a few seconds, then spoke into the microphone: "Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination -- Timbuktu.”

The crowd went wild, certain the Alabama kid was done for. The clock started, and he just stared at the crowd. Then, when everyone thought he was finished, out of nowhere he said:

β€œTim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three girls in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qbedo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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Alabama, Animals, and Alcohol

There is a law in Tuscaloosa, Alabama making it illegal to give/feed an animal alcohol. So I guess the saying is true, "you can lead a horse to [a] water[ing hole], but you can't make him drinks."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacob87
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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A joke my dad made this weekend at the Alabama/Tennessee football game...

We decided to visit the Paul. W Bryant Museum before the game. The museum is essentially just a building full of the history of Alabama college football including National Championship trophies and all that. I happened to notice that there were lots of Tennessee fans walking around the museum as well which seemed a bit odd to me.

Me: Dad, why are there so many Tennessee fans walking around in here? It seems strange.

Dad: Well son, they want to see what a trophy looks like.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoTeamJosh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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Dad talked about elephants and Alabama.

Why are elephants afraid to go to Alabama? Because in Alabama, there's Tusk-a-loose-a.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vitaeamor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2015
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