They both have a great time.
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
He orders a drink, and asks for the check.
Duck billed platypus.
Edit: Thanks guys.
Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"
The bartender says we don't serve food here
The difference is staggering
"... and one for the road."
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
“Ya, I’m positive.”
"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.
We couldn't afford a dog.
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type O."
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge".
The bartender says "AU get out of here!"
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them"
One says "Quick show him your cross"
The other priest crosses his arms and says "I'm so disappointed in you"
Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 ....
He must be in some extreme mist group.
“Five beers, please.”
...just kidding, they know better.
Why didn’t the second man duck?
He was instantly disqualified
He asks the barman about it and the barman explains, “If you can jump up and hit one, you’ll get a free drink, but if you miss, you have to buy everyone a round!”
The guy looks up and ponders for a minute then replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
The bartender said "I'll serve you, BUT DON'T START ANYTHING!"
He says to the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sined."
And he goes up to the most beautiful worker and says "hi, I'm looking for uh, one night stand"
The guy says "This isn't a pet, he's my friend and he can talk."
The bartender is skeptical and demands the guy proves it.
The guy asks the dog "What's the opposite of 'soft'?" The dog replies "Rough!"
The bartender remains skeptical and asks for more proof.
The guy asks the dog "What do people put over the top of their house?" The dog replies "Roof!"
The bartender gets annoyed and gives the guy one more chance.
The guy asks the dog "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Babe......" The dog replies "Ruth!"
The bartender is fed up and throws them out. The dog says "Should I have said 'Lou Gehrig?'"
The horse looks at the bartender and says "Hey"
Because the bartender keeps saying, “Can I get U anything?”
....
It was a shitzu.
EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
“You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!”
The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
Bar tender goes, how’d you do that?
And orders everybody a round
But they didn't planet
The doctor says "would you get a load of this guy?"
Pun in. Ten dead.
He says to the bartender “I’ll take a beer and a mop, please.”
He came, he saw, he conquered
He goes “ they don’t call me the Bartender for nothing”
The rabbit says: "I think i am a Type O."
The rabbit says I think I'm a type-o
And a mop.
The guy says "no, just the one"
